Physical Distortion

I had asked Trav to take some pictures of me before I went out tonight. He doesn't have the steadiest of hands, so a few of them came out fuzzy, but these pics came out kinda cool. They have this cool hazy effect. I took one myself and realized I don't have a steady hand either, but the picture still came out just as cool.

Theme Song for the Day

My Humps: Black Eyed Peas

The Regular Version:
I'ma get get get get you drunkget you love drunk off my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps

Chulo's Version:
soy consigue consigue consigue le consigue bebido consigue le amor bebido de mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mi chepa mis pequeños terrones encantadores

Water-logged

So normally I check what the weather is going to be like everyday. I have no idea why I didn't bother to check it out this morning, or even ask Trav, being that he watches the news every morning, but I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was supposed to rain this afternoon. This did not occur to me until lunch time when I wanted to take a walk to Macy's to check on some suits.

Me and Kaoru (my hot Japanese co-worker) trekked over to Macy's before the rain started. We're there for about 30 minutes and decided to get some food. On our way out, we then noticed the rain had already started. Like an idiot, I didn't have an umbrella, and amazing enough, there were no one selling any on the street either. I had to share Kaoru's. So being the cute Japanese girl that she is, she had a cute, green cartoon frog head on the handle, but built for one person umbrella. Needless to say we shared this for a few blocks. I tried to ignore the ghetto chics' stares at the hot interracial couple hugging and sharing an umbrella in the rain. Then I saw another suit store and went inside, but as I walked through I realized that my feet were a little wet. I thought that maybe some rain got in from the sides, but then the wetness was coming from the middle of my shoe. I think the levee broke in my shoe, because my entire foot was soaked. I looked at the bottom of my shoe and noticed some wear and definitely a tear in the rubber. I found the culprit. So unfortunately, my feet felt like I was playing in a puddle of water and now my shoe felt like a broke ass slip-n-slide. And as I type this, my shoes are off my feet under my desk so my shoes and socks can dry.

The wonders never cease.

Corporate Take-Over

When you work at a Bank, at any level, back office or bank floor you kind of get used to hearing about buy-outs and corporate take-overs. It comes with the territory. However, when you're a bank as old as the one I am in (150 year old institution), getting sold is never a big thing. We buy companies, not the other way around. However, yesterday was a little different. Rumors have been running rampant all day that apparently a bid was put up from Washington Mutual. I took this very lightly, because a few months ago I heard the same rumor that Wachovia put in a bid for us as well. Brushed it off my shoulders.

A co-worker approached me later that afternoon about the latest rumor. She asked me on how I felt about what was going around. And since I had no idea what she was talking about she filled me in. It seems that the rumor about WAMU's take-over seemed more like a reality than a rumor started by a few disgruntled workers dreaming of a decent severance package. Apparently, there have been WAMU rumors for a few months now back to back, instead of the every 6 month a new rumor. She filled me in on the talks that's been happening in the hallways, the cubicels, the bathrooms, the elevators, that a WAMU take-over is immenent. And it's also been said that packages are even being developed for employees. This was big news to me folks. I had always wondered about how long we would last after we bought a smaller bank about a year or so ago. Back then, our head legal council told me personally he'd give us 2 years max before we got purchased by a bigger bank. So it looks like what he's speculated nearly a year ago could be true.

I started to think about what has been going on lately. This is all entirely speculation though.

1). We've closed a few branches that we got through last years acquistion of a Staten Island bank. We even closed some NJ branches too.
2). There was a very aggressive branch opening schedule set last year for 10 new branches by '06. So far 3 have been opened. 2 more are a definite next month. Then there's nothing else for the rest of the year.
3). There has been a lot of whispered conversations between the department heads. And many closed door conversations have happened.
4). Every few months I type up the agendas for my bosses meeting with CEO. Usually there's infomation on there for what's coming up in the coming months and what's planned for next year. She only covered until the end of '05.
5). There have been serious budget cuts for that last 6-months. From coroporate car service right down to the mailing system.

So given some of the latest events, one would think that we are headed for unknown territory.

How this effects me? I don't know. Regardless of the fact that I hate this place. It could be a blessing. I have been at this company for 4 years, the stock price alone would build me a nice nest egg when my stock is brought back. If there's a stock split, I could only imagine the money that would come from that as well. If there was a take-over, I am not sure if my position would still be available. If it's not, I'll chill for a few weeks. Take a much needed vacation, then start looking for other work. Maybe get in touch with my drawing more. Do things that I have been meaning to do. If this does happen and I get laid-off, then maybe this will finally get my ass in gear to get an even better job than this one, which I've been trying to leave for sometime now.

Who knows. I'll keep you guys posted on what's going.

If McDonald's Employees Weren't Ghetto Enough...

A co-worker recently shared this with me and I had to share with everyone else. This was a small article in a local newspaper called Metro, from an August issue. I read it and had no words. Read for yourself and make your own conclusions. My face cracked when I read it. I am sure yours will too. If McDonald's employees weren't ghetto enough, this will make it worse. I am already weakened at the fact that many urban young men think that Dickie's is casual wear and that it's okay that you can wear them to just about anything, from funerals to job interviews. Now you're giving them a good excuse to wear it to work at McDonald's?! Did they not have a corporate dress code to begin with? Now you're telling me I have to deal with the rhine-stone, Golden Arches that LaShondra will have displayed on her visor, along with the Sean John standard issue capris she'll be rockin' to the fry oven? Just give me my value meal and get the next customer. I don't care about your purple, Rocawear polo. I just want my fries damn it! It's a hideous thought.

I do understand however, that they're trying to make it fun for an employee, but what's really fun about McDonald's? No one looks like they really like working there anyway.

The Reality of Lil' Kim

In retrospect, if she just would have said, “Yes, I do know them your honor. As I saw it, they were just trying to protect me, since they are part of my entourage and my security staff. My life was being threatened. I did feel it was not right to bring weapons into the studio, but at the time there was “beef” between us and Foxy’s camp. I remember weapons being brandished, but it was not our side who fired first.”, I think Lil’ Kim would have gotten off with a warning, at the most community service or just a slap on the wrist. She wouldn’t have gotten a weapons charge either. However, because she lied to the Jury, there was no shock to know that after she was convicted she apparently thought she was going to get the Martha Stewart treatment on this one, but no, unlike Faith Evans, Lil’ Kim really did catch a case.

Today, Kimberly Jones is to report to prison for her sentencing to serve 366 days in a Federal prison for perjury during Grand Jury deliberations for her “Hot 97 Shoot Out” case. There have news reports and articles for a few weeks now that Lil’ Kim has been trying her best to promote her forthcoming album the “Naked Truth”, due out September 27th, there have been various news articles, and several television mentions, all of this attention has almost prompted the Hip-Hop artist as the genre’s own Martha Stewart. She’s even been reported to be working on a reality television show with Tracy Edmunds, which would reveal her last moments of freedom. Other projects include even working on a woman’s watch line, movie scripts and more.

In reality, Lil’ Kim has been doing the damn thing, even if she didn’t have a hit single out or an album. Many people in the Fashion, Music and Hollywood world love her. Designers: Marc Jacobs, Dolce and Gabbana and Donatella Versace, in other media, you can even hear Kim’s raspy vocals on the theme song on her friend Victoria Gotti’s reality show, Growing Up Gotti. More and more, you begin to realize that Lil’ Kim has come along way. She’s didn’t clean up her style, she’s refined it. Mixing urban with classy touches making this pseudo glam style that only Kim can pull off. I definitely have to congratulate her on her tenacity.

On the flipside, she is going to prison. We’ve seen recently many Hip-Hop acts going to prison in the middle of their career, Lil’ Kim is no different. I hope she sees this a huge lesson, not only career wise, but personally about whom she keeps around her. Kim has the possibility to come out of this better off than any of her male constituents. She has shown a stamina not many of her peers can withstand. She’s been in the game the longest now. Who’s left Eve, Foxy, da Brat, and now that I think about it - where the hell is Charlie Baltimore? Has anyone seen her? Lil’ Kim, even going to prison, will still be a house-hold name and continue to be one once she gets out. She has support: friends, family and fans (I should know – I am one of them). She knows where her strengths and weaknesses are and she’ll refine those while she’s away. I hear her reading list is quite extensive, from Malcom X to Maya Angelou to name a few authors her lawyers, family and friends have prepared for her. She will come out a better woman I suspect. Prison, will not kill her, but without a doubt make her a stronger individual and will push her towards being the N.O.T.O.R.I.O.U.S. Kim once more. Good luck Kim!

Born and Drowning In the Religious Current

Within my circle of friends there have been strong discussions towards religion and the related ethical and emotional bonds we have to our particular faiths. Correspondence has gone back and forth on the radical views of mainstream religion and what has been deemed acceptable based on lineage and/or geographical and social circumstances. Most importantly, how our faith defines and shapes not only ourselves, but also how it impacts our environment and way of life.

Definitely check out:
Chronicles of a Redstate Refugee (Pts. 2-4)
The McChristian Truth
for more on this topic.

So here’s my 30 cents on the topic at a slightly different perspective.

I feel strongly about the fact that we as individuals might be devout Catholics, Christians, Jewish, Muslims, Santeria’s, Atheists, Pentecostals, Baptists, Buddhist, or the other divinations out there, but we are this way sometimes not by choice, but by inheritance. This inheritance can be burden at times, because if forces your hand and soul to a faith you didn’t dedicate yourself to on your own. You kind of just roll with the punches.

For instance, the biggest obstacle I had to face when dealing with was being born into the Catholic faith and loosing that same faith in a religion that didn’t accept me wholly. I was tethered to a system of beliefs and moral conduct, which were great character builders, but as you grow, so does your intellect and when you see that your faith was pre-installed as it were, and looking back – was it really the faith for me? Did I really enjoy it or was I doing it for my family’s sake? What kind of God punishes you for being yourself? What kind of God judges you, when you’re taught from birth that He loves us all and we were made in His image? I know Jesus or God is not looking down on me going “Hey girl!”, but I would think they’d understand.

I remember growing up vividly. Church had always been a part of my life. Mainly due to the fact that my grandmother, the great woman that she is, felt it right to bring me up as Catholic, where she had failed with my mother. As long as I can remember, I had always believed in God, Jesus, read my big lettered Bible and did what a god-fearing boy was supposed to. I went to Sunday school, mass, was in the choir, said my prayers, had my holy communion, got confirmed, was part of the Church Youth Group, went to Colorado in 1993 to see the Pope (which I have referred to as Popestock ’93 since), I was an altar boy for five years and attended private school up until I was 18 years old. Yup – that’s hardcore Catholicism for you. It was right up until that point was where I started really questioning my faith and what being a Catholic meant.

Growing up Catholic felt like a chore. Mass was one big rerun. I knew the sermons by heart. I would find myself completely bored out of my mind and doodling on the Sunday program, with the pretty white people with some lambs and Jesus. As an altar boy, the Easter Vigil’s Program was done and rehearsed so many times, I could do it blindfolded. Reading from the scriptures became a contest on who could read the loudest to wake everyone up. It was a whole production. Then when I realized I was gay, the things I had read, believed and found in the good book didn’t apply to me any longer. That’s where I lost my one-on-one relationship with my faith. I thought of it as almost a kin to slavery: I was born into it and now that I was gay I had no way of escaping. I didn’t know I had a choice or if I wanted to be Catholic or not. Because at this point, the Baptist church up the block had boisterous singing, organs and tambourines and even a few gay folk in the crowd. They looked like they were enjoying getting drowning in the spirit, while I was loosing mine being bored from it. When it came down to it, I had stopped identifying with my personal experience with my religion. I drowned it in. God became too distant for me to want to do the things I used to.

I can’t quote scholars or make attempts to connect faith to the political, geographical, economical and social ramifications religion has had on us as a people. However, I do know that, whether or not we were born into a faith, or it was what your family practiced - we went along with it because we had to. We eventually got older, instilled with our inherited faith and continued to believe that this was the best choice. Choice. There’s that word again. You see how it pops up now? So we got our choice back, but is it too late to switch sides now? Or do we set aside time to reevaluate what would be a good faith for us to follow or do we continue to follow a faith that was set upon us? That’s up to you. Me, I can’t choose - my grandmother would disown me. =)

Life's Curve Balls

Today I got some really bad news. One of my co-workers and a really good friend told me that his wife, who was expecting their third child, lost the baby yesterday. She was only a couple of months pregnant, and on a routine check-up to see whether it was a boy or a girl, they were told that the fetus had expired. He told me God works in mysterious ways. I asked what made him think like that, especially since this was in regards to his unborn child. He replied to me that, “We already have 2 little ones. A third baby would have put too much stress on us monetarily. We are already struggling as is. So in the end, I guess it wasn’t supposed to happen.”

His outlook had momentarily stunned me, I would have never expected something like this from him, but I was more concerned for his mental state as well as his wife’s, whom I know as well. I can't even imagine how this would/could feel. He looked fine though. He just looked like he was having a bad day. He said he was fine, but slightly bummed. His wife is borderline depressed, but she’s coping well he told me. I’m praying that they get through this and that they do no let this deter them from having another child in the near future. I wish them all the best.

Being Sick, Being Harry, Just Being

I’ve been battling sickness this entire week. I’ve had sinus congestion, headaches, and coughing. Nothing that I can call out of work for, but it’s annoying. I am acting like a complete baby too. Sudafed is amazing, but I’ve been dealing with it. I still have enough energy to go to the gym because I haven’t been weak, but add the fact that I get very little sleep lately, getting sick was a stone’s throw away. So after the great Friday night I just had, I woke up sick Saturday morning. I woke up with a severe headache. I had one beer the night before, so I didn’t think it was that. Travis (roommate) suggested drinking water. “You could be dehydrated.” I take him at his word and start to guzzle a gallon of water. It helped, but I still didn’t feel like doing much. I canceled my plans for later that night very early in the day and decided to just rest and relax and nurse myself.

As the day goes on, I curl up on my bed and get into Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Trav rushes me to get through it, so we can have our Harry Potter discussion luncheon with another friend of ours. I’m going as fast as I can, but I have interruptions, like sleeping, eating and this constant need to watch Invader ZIM all the time. I’m getting there though.

I just started reading it last week and I am nearly half way through it. Trav finished it in a weekend, but he knows I can’t read that fast. =) Also besides the fact that I am at least two months behind the rest of the world. I got it when it first came out and it sat there until I was finished with the last book I had. So I am playing catch-up. I do have to say, this is an enjoyable read so far. Harry is growing up and I love reading about it. Given what his life has been like since he first stepped foot in Hogwarts, I gotta give credit where it’s due. There’s this huge life that he had before he even realized it. Just being a wizard is one thing, but knowing that you are part of something so grandiose, as prophecy and being inexorably tied to one of the most powerful and dark wizards to ever live is quite enormous for a boy his age. I love these books completely.

Then later on in the evening Trav and I watched Crash. This was an excellent movie. It was intense, focused and powerful. Written and Directed by Paul Haggis (whom has an pretty extensive list of 80’s television screenplays under his belt already, like LA Law, Facts of Life, Diff’rent Strokes and thirtysomething), Crash is a tour dé force in movie making and equally in story telling. I highly recommend it to everyone if you haven’t seen it yet. It was my first time watching it and since Trav had seen it already; he was more intent on watching my reactions than anything. And react I did. I was 15 minutes into this movie and it already was gripping. At one point I cried. I haven’t cried in a movie since A Man Without A Face with Mel Gibson. Thus I know there will be other take-aways from this, but I felt the movie is basically about a few things: human nature and our inherent flaws, but really it was about perception. The perception of racism and how it shapes/effects our lives and how quickly we can move away or towards rational thought and behavior given a race-fueled situation. After watching it, it just really came down to us. Our state of being is in constant flux and is always pushed and attacked on a mental and physical level daily. The movie showed how we interact, react, and ultimately choose who we are to each other and ourselves. We can get lost in the moment or take charge of it. This movie will change your frame of reference to all things emotionally charged or race related. It was very thought provoking, and did not give me the “Kill Whitey!!!” emotion I went through while watching Amistad or A Time to Kill. This was a phenomenal movie. Four Stars baby!!!

Me and the LES

Today was a normal day for me: work and then the gym. Then I called my old manager from FCUK to see if she was at the store, I wanted to swing by and hang out for a bit. When I get there, the store looks different; I don’t miss it at all. I hated folding and all that other crap that goes along with retail jobs, but they did have some nice stuff. She asks me if I want to hang out with her and some friends tonight. It seems that her fiancé is leaving the PRADA store and they were having a going away party for him at this bar/lounge called STAY. Since they were going later on that evening I had some time to kill. I called another friend to have dinner with, before I headed off to STAY. After dinner, I headed to West 4th with my friend, to wait for his date to arrive and from there I headed to the LES.

Needless to say every time I go to the LES (Lower East Side) I get lost. It’s not big, but everything looks the same. It’s not like I’ve never been there before either. You would think I was a tourist. Anyway, STAY was nice. Cool atmosphere. I hung out with some really hot Puerto Rican chics, all of my old managers’ friends, plus her fiancé, who was trying to find me a hot guy to talk to. I had a drink or two, fell in love with the hot DJ, danced and dropped it like it was hot, before I realized I was on the set of Kill Bill 3. There were scores of chic Japanese people that came in while we were dancing in the back. I almost felt out of place for minute, but I love Japanese people and I think I’m secretly trying to be a Harajuku girl. But anyways – the party ended for us at about 1AM. The people I hung out with all live in the LES, so I left them and made my way for the train station.

There were a lot of people out tonight. The vibe was incredible and it definitely was summer time in NYC. There was a trumpet player in front of Katz Dinner, while a fat man in a blonde wig next to him passed out flyers for a comedy show. I walked the streets a little, grabbed water and some Gummi Bears, laughed at the drunken white girls that seem to flow at this time of the night. Then I hopped on the F train and took my tired and sweaty ass home. I liked my Friday night.

Tight Shirt Thursday

So this morning I got the crazy idea to where this tight, long sleeve t-shirt to work. I rarely put it on, because I couldn’t fit it the way I wanted to, so being that I have been working out regularly now, I figured I could fit it. I put it on and immediately became aware that my nipples were showing right through. I paid it no mind and went to work.

I get to work and its cold in the office. I go to the bathroom and realize that my nipples are now hard and busting through the shirt. I started to get embarrassed, so I rushed back to my desk not knowing what to do. I asked a co-worker what she uses when her girls are standing at attention. “Get some band-aids!” she tells me. I don’t have band-aids and I couldn’t go outside to get any, so I got this zainy idea – I’m going to use Scotch tape instead. So I lifted my shirt and throw some tape on them puppies. They did the trick. I got through the day, feeling better that I wasn’t stared at. Then I had the wardrobe malfunction.

As I was leaving, I stretched and I guess it moved a piece of the tape. On the way home, on the train, I realized that one nipple was covered and the other wasn’t. I looked like a mutant. I ran home with my duffle bag strap covering the other nipple until I was safely back at the domicile.

Another deluge: Robin Givens to star in Chicago

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I read a report of another deluge coming our way. New Yorkers prepare for the worst, Robin Givens, former wife to boxer Mike Tyson will star in Chicago on Broadway. Apparently, taking up the role of Roxy Heart, currently played by Brooke Shields, Ms. Givens will start her run in January 2006.

What’s really scary about it – I didn’t know Robin Givens could sing. Was there a musical number in Head of the Class or Boomerang that I didn’t know about?

Street Walkin'

This week one of closest and dearest friends celebrated his birthday. He had partied so much, that by the time I was to hang out with him he really didn’t want to do much, so we decided to do something we haven’t done since we were in college – go walking down Christopher Street.

Back when we were young lads, he and I used to walk up and down that street like we were invincible. Guys were every where, we were young and it was summer time. The possibilities were endless. We felt like doing it again, just for old times sake.

We parked actually near West Side Highway, so when we hit Christopher, we came from the Pier area. As we’re walking, I am realizing that I see nothing but children out. I mean like 16 and 17 years olds, prancing the street. Gays, Lesbian, Transgender, Unknown-gender. All of them. Young old and the in between. I don’t know if they are different or I am different, but I don’t see the street as it used to be. I remember Christopher Street taking at least 20 minutes to walk up and down it. Now I can do it 5 minutes. The guys are still there, but someone uglier and still in front of Chiz Chiz and the Hangar. I miss Two Potato, it’s now a straight joint. You can see straight into the Dug Out, which I wish they would go back to covering up the windows (scary). The porn shops are still a staple amidst the other boutiques and restaurants there. I remember going to that street nearly every weekend. Now I am like – can I go home now? I think the only time I really go back down there is during PRIDE.

So we got hungry and decided to go to another Christopher Street classic – Tiffany’s. As it turns out, Tiffany’s is now closed and it looks like permanently. We had a quick – “Awww – remember when that happened at Tiffany’s….” moment. Then went across the street to the Rivera. We watched the boys go to the new Warehouse night at Stonewall. It felt good checking out the guys. When that was done, we took one more walk down the street. Now the street was beginning to flood due to the Pier closing and all the urchins were filtering towards us. One guy caught my eye, but then I realized he had literally three hairs under his chin and his School-Metro Card was visible in his plastic wallet attached to his hip. A shame really.

And with that my friend and I hopped in the car and went back to Brooklyn.