Slippery When Wet

So I am surfing the net for porn, when Trav tells me that it's snowing. And it was snowing hard. The flakes look like they would hurt. I travelled to the window and sure enough those flakes where big. I immediately ran downstairs to my door and took a picture. It's wet outside, so I don't believe they would stay. Mike Woods didn't mention this in the weather report for the weekend. He needs a spanking. (I am hoping I am the one to give it to him though.)

Help! My Pussy's Gone Crazy!!

After I got home from my insane Christmas, I was really happy to be back in my cold ass apartment. My mom and sister came up stairs with me and helped me with my bags and plus use the bathroom. I gave my mom the keys and she went in first, she gets up stairs to the bathroom, turns around and looks at me. "Don't be mad at her.", she tells me. "What did the cat do now?", I asked her.

I go into the bathroom and to my pleasure, my cat had completely decimated the toilet paper. She's done this before, but never to this extreme, because the other times I caught her in the act. This time, with her being alone for about a day with Trav and I gone for the holiday she had free reign of the place and the toilet paper obviously cannot co-exist in her space. I was annoyed that she did that, but my mom told me not to get mad, this is what cats do. I was too tired to really do anything, so I just yelled at her and she scampered away under my bed.

After my mom and sister leave, I get in bed to get some much needed sleep. Silk decides she wants to be cute after she destroyed the toilet paper. She curls up next to me and begins to roll on her back and meow very softly to get me rub her belly. I obliege, because I know she doesn't mean to do it. She's a playful kitty. I couldn't help, but laugh at the most insane cat that I have ever known.

Surviving Christmas

"It's the most wonderful time of the yeeeeaaaaarrrrrrrr!"

I am a Christmas nut. I love the season. I am utterly happy and excited. I feel like a kid again. My moods usually make Trav want to puke, because he believes I "overdo" Christmas. Maybe I do, but I love it. It truly is a wonderful time of the year. Unfortunately, this year it really wasn't. My family get togethers are often fun, if not run of the mill episodes of Jerry Springer. There's usually a few shouting matches, but nothing of the caliber of shit that happened this year. Not even close. As usual, I head down to the V.B. (Virginia Beach) to be with my family for Christmas. I was really excited this year. I drove down with my mom and my sister and we were really looking forward to last minute shopping, my grandmother's sweet potatoe pie, and baking christmas cookies with the kids. The first day was cool. My mom and my sister go shopping the day before Christmas Eve so all we would have to do is chill at the house that night with family and wrap gifts and listen to Christmas music. We were all good, however there was a storm brewing before we got there and one that we thought would strike, but not as hard as it did.

Just to give the jist of it all, my eldest cousin has sworn that her mother has never given her a good Christmas. Her memories are riddled with disappointment after disappointment from her mother, which she thought would be different this year. She asked for one thing, her ultimate christmas wish (Bose iPod speakers) and her mother denies it. Then subsequently turns around and asks for my cousin's assistance in obtaining a T-Mobile Sidekick for her younger brother (who's 15 by the way). Needless to say my cousin had a few colorful words for her mother at this time and wanted to return everything she got her and she refused to make someone elses Christmas happy when hers never is. This was on December 20th. Thus the seeds of anger had been planted and just waited to sprout at the appropriate time.

Christmas Day arrives and everyone is pleasantly surprised at what we all received. Santa aka Mommy definitely hooked me up this year and I was extremley happy and blessed. Dinner came and we all ate and laughed and had some good times. This was the calm before the storm. Around 9pm, I am playing a game with my little 3 year old cousin Michelle, who I found out cheats at Memory (Who cheats at Memory?) -- I hear this yelling from another room. My two cousins are arguing over control of the television. Threats are slung and curses are flung. The next thing I hear is rumbling and running. My cousins are running out from the room. Apparently, Justin threw a chair at Michon (pronounced like Ma'shawn). She ran after him, tackled him, and thus preceded to beat the shit out of him. Cue the Jerry Springer audience hoots and howls, this one's a doosey. She not only tackeled him on the dinner table, but they broke it in the process rolling on the floor and breaking a few chairs in the melee. My grandmother, trying to avoid the craziness gets knocked down, because she isn't fast enough. Not for nothing, my cousin is built like a steam roller. So my grandmother is face down on the floor, Michelle is screaming because her mom is fighting her uncle and my sister and aunt is trying to break them up. My mom comes from the other room where she was to see what the hell was going on, screaming for them to stop. Where am I you ask? Trying to calm Michelle down and pick my grandmother off the floor. She wasn't moving and this was starting to scare me. She's not a spring chicken anymore and I was fearing the worst. She was okay, just a bruised knee.

After the inital madness, the yelling and the accusations start. Michon is livid that her mom is not taking her side and begins to go off on her parenting skills or lack there of and her blatant ignorance of Justin's fucked up personality. This becomes one large thearpy session for my aunt and her children and before I knew it, a Sony Playstation was thrown from down the hall, hitting the wall and breaking. At this point, my mom and me are speechless and I am trying to keep calm and not get involved, when my sister makes a comment to my grandmother about my aunt and her once again lack of parenting skills and Justin's apparent lack of everything, Both my aunt and cousin take it into offense and now another argument starts between all 3 of them.

So after a few hours of bickering and arguing, and a little before midnight, my sister marches into the room where my mother and I were and says, "Mommy, Dre, pack your shit we're leaving! I don't want to be here in this crazy house anymore! They're all fucked up!" So without much speaking about the topic, my mother and I had no other choice. We didn't have money to take a train, I was out of vacation days so we weren't left with much. So we packed our belongings into my sister's car and drove the 7 hours back to NYC. Along the way, we discussed what happened and my mother began to think about how she raised us two and if we had any grievances against her. I have a few, but nothing to where I am going to go postal over. After a while, my mom and my sister fell asleep and I was left to drive through Virgina, Maryland, Delaware and New Jersey. I did 80 mph pretty much all the way down, I just wanted to get home. Route 1 is a lonely highway at 3:00am and I missed my bed. The radio stations are pretty much country music and I was left with some heavy thinking. My family is really screwed up and I don't have any idea what to do about it. We're in turmoil. Time goes by and I was getting tired, so my sister switched driving with me in New Jersey and drove all the way back. My mom wakes up and jokes about how my cousin ruined Christmas and said that she did everything, but steal the Who-hash. (An ingenious and relevant How the Grinch Stole Christmas reference.)

I arrive home in Sunset Park at 7:00am to fog and rain on December 26th feeling rather exhausted from the driving and the emotional battle I had just witnessed. I survived Christmas -- somewhat.

Trapped in the Closet/Unnecessary Blackness

This weekend, I had the awkward pleasure of watching the first 8 chapters of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet. Even though I had a wonderful breakfast in bed while watching it (Thanks Kenny!), I was still baffled at the utter and unnecessary blackness involved in the creation of this Urban Opera. On several occasions, Travis and I have joked about the absurdity of it and usually after cracking those same jokes, sing out loud about being trapped in a closet or someone not opening the closet in a fake, bravado tone. (You really have to be there to get the hilarious tones carried throughout the discussion.) So on Sunday morning, I woke up and tried to find something on television. Now previously, I had only seen chapter 1, which was the funniest 5 minutes of my life. So imagine, my sick twisted joy when I was roped into watching a marathon of it on VH-1. I sat there with the utter intention of understanding why this has become a phenomenon in the Urban community and why so many of us is still watching R. Kelly, like he can do no wrong. Oh you pee-er of little girls. You ain’t gonna change. Maybe at one point you could have been Marvin Gaye’s apparent heir, but you too scandalous now.

Not since the FCC blurred out the shot of him in his boxers showing his supercock in the “Half On A Baby” video, have I been this thoroughly entertained. Not because it’s actually good, but the sheer silliness of it all. R. Kelly takes himself very seriously as an artist ladies and gentleman. Let us not forget, he has come up with such classic gems as “Snake”, “You Remind Me of My Jeep”, “Feelin’ On Your Booty” and “Bump and Grind”. R. Kelly is basically 1 part Keith Sweat, 1 part Al B. Sure, and 1/3rd of the group H-Town. They all took themselves seriously too, so why do we allow R. Kelly to reel us in all the time? His music has through the years changed so much from smooth R&B to just straight up sexual jams, which works well with the female crowd who got their boyfriends to download his infamous sex video online. Yet, we still are Happy People, dancing to Ignition and Stepping in the Name of Love. However, I am awarding Trapped in the Closet as the winner of the Best Use of Unnecessary Blackness in a Music Video Award (It should be a catergory at the VMAs). Not since the creation of the Madea series and any stage play shown at the Beacon Theatre, has this award been given in earnest.

Trapped in the Closet is for one a story told through music. Oh okay then it’s a musical. No. Most musical uses songs to advance the plot. Trapped in the Closet is one long song telling a story. Confusing? You bet’cha. VH-1 had to have a host and recaps just for us to keep up, because there are so many plot advancements and twist all set to music that it’s hard to distinguish what exactly is going on. At first glance, Trapped in the Closet is the offspring of all those Mr. Big video/stories R. Kelly used to do with Chante Moore, Kelly Price, and the Isley Brothers. They were never really connected, just the theme of Mr. Big and R. Kelly’s constant run in with him. So now we have Trapped in the Closet, which has a tighter storyline, but gets outrageous with each chapter and more ghetto. Really, the entire story is about infidelity, but with each new character comes a certain level of cheating that pretty much outdoes the previous, I’m thinking for shock value. My initial feeling when Trapped in the Closet was released (then it was just chapters 1-5 on his latest CD), I felt it was slightly over the top for a song, but I didn’t know it was going to be a video for it. I know songs tell a story, but this was clearly a trashy novelesque screenplay, that I think Erick Jerome Dickey had a hand in developing. This one slept with this one, this one’s married to the other, who’s having a gay affair, his wife is setting him up and so on and so on. This was totally geared towards the E. Lynn Harris crowd as well and you know how they loves them some ghetto intrigue and drama. Just more unnecessary blackness.

Just getting up to chapter 8 was enough for me, but I had always known that there are 12 parts to this. 12 fucking parts! I felt mentally raped from just 8 parts. What more can come from this? I’ve been hearing things about a midget being involved. I have to be honest though, I want to see how it ends just so that I have a full picture of this god-awful music experience. It is what it is. He’s done his job and made people watch it, even if they didn’t want. I can even see people getting Trapped in the Closet DVDs as stocking stuffers. So I’ve jumped on the bandwagon for this one. I give R. Kelly credit for trying something this elaborate, but it’s just really ridiculous in delivery and the outlandish acting involved. I know he made bank on this because he has an audience and it’s even gotten VH-1 to have commentary and a recap presentation of it in marathon form, is really quite scary.

I am not trapped in the closet. I am just scared to see what’s left in it.

Transit Strike Humor

Twas five days before Christmas and all through the town;

Not a train was up running, they'd all been shut down.

The turnstiles were locked and the stations were cleared,

in hopes that Old Bloomberg would give them their share.

The workers were nestled all snug in their booths;

Where oft they're found sleeping, to tell you the truth.

Toussaint wants their pensions to be like the cops' -

you know, 'cause it's stressful announcing each stop.

Alas, from the public arose such a clatter,

Their leader seems not to have thought out the matter.

With shoppers not shopping and travel delayed,

public support dwindled, New Yorkers' nerves frayed.

You dumb, lazy morons! The people did cry.

Pensions the same as the FDNY?

It'll cost us a fortune, illiterate twits!

The people weren't happy. In fact, they threw fits.

There's strength in a union, or so they believed

but not before Christmas - now everyone's peeved.

It's terrible timing for stranding the masses;

If Reagan were here he'd have fired your asses.

Movie Review: Brokeback Mountain

Love truly is a force of nature was the first thing I said after I watched Brokeback Mountain this weekend. Coincidently, it’s also the tagline for the movie. Brokeback Mountain is a visually, stunning movie that’s layered with tantalizing raw emotion and wrought with harsh realities of inviolable romances. (I just got right up in your ass with that one Roger Ebert!) For those of you who have been living under a rock, Brokeback Mountain is the story of two young men, a ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy, who meet on a shepherding job in 1963 Wyoming. During their time together, they forge a then unorthodox, yet life-long bond, even though wrought with conflict and bitterness stood the test of time. Just a warning to those who haven’t seen it, there are spoilers throughout the review.

Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhall) and Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) meet in 1963, looking for work. The two are put on a shepherding job, which would run a month. They’d work together, but never supposed to talk or communicate, except for meals. There’s a lot of silence between the two, no dialogue to hold onto just yet, which gives us a chance to absorb the lush scenery when they are not interacting. Who knew areas like that existed in America? The mountains of Wyoming are truly breath taking and wondrous. When they are not trying to protect sheep from wolves, running away from bears, and withstanding the weather, they are isolated on two different sides of the mountain. Soon the isolation becomes a problem and evolves into loneliness. Ennis and Jack eventually communicate and share experiences, somewhat neglecting their responsibilities, but more and more they began to experience loneliness on a grander scale. This feeling manifests into a night of passion and they share something deep, forbidden and meaningful. Both don’t consider themselves “queer”, but perhaps heterosexual men with a secret. They want to have a normal life with a wife and children and they explore those options, but they go through the rest of their lives meeting every so often for their time together.

The film traces their Jack and Ennis’ initial meeting, their “fishing trips” through the years, and all the while we witness their hardships with each other, their significant others, their families, and careers. It was great to see that they kept their romance going for about 20 years, but then after a while you realize how fucked up it is that they’ve clearly cheating on their wives and lying to their families for a few decades, but yet all you want them to do is live out the dream that Jack had for them and that was to build a ranch, and a cabin and have an operation of their own. It’s the idea that their love is being tested constantly and you want it to work for them. You route for them to do this.

As the movie progresses you can see just how different each man is and how they cope with their circumstances; one does it better than the other, but yet maintain balance with their normal lives. I felt the movie focused slightly more on Ennis’s (Heath Ledger) life and how he dealt with life and his emotions for the man he fell in love with versus the woman he married and had children with. Ennis’s character went through some very, turbulent emotions that put him at odds with himself all the time. From the very beginning, you knew Ennis was a loner, so when Jack tries to get him to open and he immediately shies away. After their night of passion (or the Redneck Spit Fuck), Ennis begins to change and open himself up to territories unknown, not unlike the mountain setting. However, that was his undoing. For the first time he truly loved someone and it was a man and by normal standards it was completely wrong. The feelings he developed were strong and overwhelming. In one scene, Ennis hid from Jack that he wanted to see him again and as well as the way he felt for him when the job was done. You saw the heartbreak when Jack left. He kneeled over in a corner and cried and heaved himself so heavily to the point of being sick. There was such a strong sense of regret; you felt every emotion as Ennis did. Ennis also didn’t cope well with his double-life. He was constantly angry and on edge and led to his utter unhappiness with his married life. He had more joy seeing Jack for their frequent fishing trips. Even after his divorce from his wife, Ennis’s joy came from seeing Jack, but he never admitted it or said that he loved him.

On the other hand Jack was very comfortable with his double-life, in fact you’d say he had it down to a science in the late 60’s. Through the course of the movie, you see Jack try to sate his desires in other men, (i.e. other cowboys, male prostitutes, etc.) until he saw Ennis. To him it wasn’t what they had, what they had was more, these other men were just sex. He had a new life. He moved from rodeo man, to sales man. His marriage wasn’t in shambles, like Ennis’s. In fact, Jack wanted to leave his wife so he and Ennis could be together, because he knew that’s what he really wanted inside. Jack’s reasoning was, the heart wants what it wants and he wanted was Ennis, but that also came with a price, because Jack couldn’t let go of Ennis for the world and this emotional tugging was felt throughout the entire movie.

Both actors displayed a great range of emotion and brought very spectacular moments in the movie, but it was Heath Ledger who’s proving to be the force behind Brokeback Mountain. In one moving scene, Ennis lets Jack know that it’s going to be sometime before they get to see each other again. This explodes into a heated discussion about how they should be together, about how each other deals with their circumstances and with Jack displaying his utter love and hate for Ennis with a memorable line, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” On the other hand, Ennis’s feelings of Jack “making him this way” was powerful as he fell to ground in tears, not knowing what to do anymore, because what he wants can’t happen and won’t happen because of his fear of being persecuted or killed for it. Ennis’s despair was so prevalent. You knew he didn’t want to, but he had to do what was necessary for them to keep going. His face showed it all. Great acting. There's already been a lot written about how Ledger will probably be nominated for an Academy Award for this role — and he deserves one. Outside of Monster's Ball, audiences haven't really had a chance to see whether he can act or not — and he can. Even though for me, A Knight’s Tale was fun, but this one showed how much he’s grown as an actor. The major twist/development at the end of the movie really pushed Ledger and it was good to see him a role like this. Unfortunately, as much as I like and think's he's hot and all -- Jake Gyllenhall’s expressions are still very vague, like he’s in perpetual Donnie Darko mode throughout, but he did good with the material though. Jack was more in tuned with letting his emotions fly and never held anything back, which made him the perfect antigonist towards Ennis and showed that Gyllenhall can be an on-screen gem at times. For instance, when Jack found out that Ennis had divorced his wife, the look of love and possibility in his eye made me swoon. Even more can be said for the supporting cast as well. Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway, as the unlucky wives of these two men, are due some recognition of their own. Williams' scenes of discovery and fury at being betrayed are pretty raw. It was even more powerful when she knew where he went off to and sobbed with their baby in her arms and Ella Enchanted has filled out...err...I mean grown nicely.

Simply put, Brokeback Mountain is a love story. A love story I don’t think much of the population is ready for and it’s the first of its kind, since the two leads are not clearly defined as homosexual. Think about it being a love trying to overcome obstacles. The passion these two men had was magical, albeit slightly fucked from the get-go. This wasn’t a gay cowboy movie, as much as we would like to label it. They weren’t gay, especially in the sense we would think of it today. Keep in mind that this movie was set in a time when being gay wasn’t a significant organized culture as it is today, especially not in 1963 Wyoming. Back then it was a feeling one could have and thus acted on, not necessarily a lifestyle choice as it would be a few decades from then. From their one night, Jack and Ennis were bonded to a unique and unconditional feeling and they didn’t know how this new thing with them would exactly work. That was the beauty of it all. The not knowing. Nonetheless, it’s a love story of serious proportions and not an uncommon one even by today’s homosexual relationships. It’s about two men who have an unexplainable bond that only they will share and I highly recommend it to everyone, men and women, straight or gay.

Disappearing Acts

Mikey has been my best friend for nearly 22 years. We met in the 4th grade and have been best friends ever since. We grew up together in Bed-Stuy and lived roughly 3 blocks away from each other. We liked the same things growing up. We traded toys, played for hours with them, challenged each other in video games, disovered new passions, like anime and even discovered girls at the same time. Mikey was my bestest friend. He was like family to me and my own family treated him as such and vice versa. My aunt often referred to him as her other nephew. I don't think I have never had a friendship that was like this ever. We didn't go to same high school, but that didn't stop anything.

We went to college together and was ultimately roommates. It was the best time of my life, because I got to enjoy a new life experience with a person I cared about immensely. It did break my hear when he dropped out of school to enlist in the Navy at the end of our Freshman year however, but we remained friends then. I was with him when he went through boot camp, on the various cruises he had to go on. I got emails from him when he was in Singapore and postcards from him when he went to India. Even then, he's always been apart of my life. While he was in the Navy, and after his initial tour, he renewed his contract and decided to lived off-base, at this time my grandparents, aunt and little cousin, had just moved to Virgina Beach, where he decided to be stationed, since he had "family" aka my family to be with. There he stayed for 4 years. He stayed in the den and everytime I went down there to see my family, it was like old times even though I lived in this far up north. Even when I am not there, we call each other, text message each other, and just talk and talk and talk forever on the phone. He is my boy and nothing could break that bond.

Mikey was never the wierd or selfish person. He did what he had to do for his family and his loved ones. I knew everything about Mikey: likes, dislikes, dreams, fears, and goals. He was extremely happy that his contract was up with the NAVY this past October. He wanted to get a job utilizing what they taught him in the service. He wanted an apartment and everything he's dreamed of having and it was finally coming true. However, just in the last few days there's been some odd developments with my best friend and under further investigation and very, disturbingly, after all this time - I don't think I really knew him at all.

It started about a day ago. My cousin called me asking if I had spoken to Mikey today. I told her no and she let me know that she had wanted to ask him something, but didn't know where he was. I told her I would let him know when I talk to him. The next night I get a very odd call from her. She tried to call him, but his phone had a busy signal. Oddity #1: Mikey has call waiting. I told her I would try to reach him as well. Just as I hung up the phone, my sister calls telling me the exact same thing, "Mikey's phone is busy." I immediately hung up the phone and called him. Sure enough, I go the same busy signal as everyone else. Trying not to worry, I text message him right after asking him to call me. He didn't respond. Oddity #2: Mikey has always responded quickly to text messages.
Not too long after that, my cousin calls me back, because Mikey's dad has thus called her several times asking if she's heard from him, because he hasn't. Mikey's dad has also called my grandparents house looking for him. They won't know where he is, because he moved out in October. I spoke to him while I was in florida, that would be about last week Tuesday. His dad hasn't heard from him since Thanksgiving. Oddity #3: Mikey has never not talked to his family in over a week. Mikey's dad doesn't know what to do, he's checked all of the local hospitals and police precincts. He's not there. Mikey's dad filled a missing person's report the next day.

This morning, my cousin called me asking me very wierd questions, notably "how well do you know Mikey?". I am thinking a whole hell of a lot since we've been friends for over 20 years. So to my horror she begins to tell me what they found out from the police investigation:

1). He's had several DUI arrest
2). Missed 2 court appearances
3). Has an outstanding warrant out for his arrest
4). He was dishonorably discharged from the NAVY
5). He has not worked since October
6). There's no new address on file
7). His phone has been cut off
8). All of his bills are months behind
9). His license was revoked a year ago

I was floored and it hurt my heart to think that I was completely oblivious to it all. The most disturbing thing of all is that no one can find him. The police in Virgina Beach believe he's gone into hiding and running from the authorities. I don't know how to deal with this because he's my best friend and I knew nothing about this. I've let him in on everything in my life. I kept nothing back, but with him, I don't know where to begin, because I haven't talked to him so right now I am devastated and for the most part left with sense of confusion. Did I really know my best friend, or did he just hit a rough patch? Has he been going through this downward spiral for years? I never would've thought he had an alcohol problem, but it seems this was one of the factors in his discharge from the NAVY. And now he's disappeared. I can't believe any of this is happening at all. I love him and I wish I knew he was okay. The most obsurd things keeps popping in my head about his well being and what he's going through, but how would you deal if you found out your best friend is now a fugitive?

Mikey, if you're out there, I know you can't read this, but please let me know you're okay.

My New House Guest

My mom is in the middle of moving and where she's staying for the time being she can't take her cat with her, so I relunctantly told her I would adopt her cat for a few months until she gets a new place. So meet Silk, my newest house guest.

Needless to say, I had no idea what I was getting into. I haven't had to deal with having a pet since I was about 17 years old, so there's an adjustment period not only for the cat, but for me as well. She's only been at my place for about 2 days now and she's gotten on my nerves a little, but cats will be cats. They're playful and curious and they don't mean any harm, but she's gotten into things so far. Nothing bad, but slightly annoying. She has taken a good interest in Trav though, which is cool. We haven't bonded yet. I don't hate cats. They're really affectionate creatues. So the problem is with me. When my dog died when I was about 5 years, my family had nothing but cats, so I have this slight aversion to loving any cat more than my dog. (Yet another traumatic experience.) So I have to get used to her.

She's beautiful though. She walks around like she owns the place and she's only been there 48 hours.

That Evil Lady!

As I returned back from work from my wonderful vacation, visiting Chulo in West Palm Beach, Kaoru and myself decided to go get coffee and a bite to eat. Since I haven't seen my lil Japanese chic in over a week, so we caught up on some major chatty moments. As we are walking outside, I see this woman. She looked dishelved, but familiar. She was a Caribbean lady and when it's cold Caribbean women have the most ugly and lavish winter wear ever. Big,chunky multi-colored scarves with like a purple and gold, full length bubble coat. Kaoru and I looked oddly at the woman cursing -- to no one. As I looked more closely, I stopped in my tracks. I then remembered the face of evil - my 5th grade Math teacher - Mrs. Friday!!!! Argh!

Oh how I loathed that woman.

I was immediately taken back to a time where she was the reason why I hated math as a child. She used to yell at me, scold me because I couldn't calculate fast enough, she told me I was a lazy, American child, because in her country children could turn fractions into decimals because unlike clothes, Math was the only thing they had. She even once threw a blackboard eraser at me when I took too long at the board. She would write evil, little notes on my tests to my mom about how "unattentive" I was. I was petrified of the woman, but everyone mistook it for me just not liking math. It didn't "click with me" my principal used to say. She was evil. That's why it didnt click with me. I was a child with special needs apparently, but in order for me to get any help I had to be functionally retarded. So since I wasn't retarded and no one could figure out what was wrong (I wasn't smart enough to say she was torturing me.), the nuns wrote me off as an "academically troubled child". Besides, we didn't have tutors in the school so that was better for them to deal with.

No one heard my silent screams. I couldn't talk back. I didnt want to have lunch in the closet or be hit with that big ass ruler they had for us. I thought Mrs. Friday was an alien and often wondered when Ellen Ripley would come and save me from the beastial bitch she was! I just knew she had concentrated acid for blood.

Oh how I wanted to burn her short and cropped gerri-curl do! Burn it I say!

Then I remembered that christmas, when we had to write out what we really wanted for that year and then we would present it to our parents. So I had asked Santa "If he could make Mrs. Friday go away." Needless to say my mom was a little concerned then. I told her what happens in class and how it made everyone laugh at me. It was hard walking around with chalk marks on your dress code issued sweater all day. It was like a slient kick me sign. It became this whole big thing at my school. All the nuns were in an uproar. They had me transfered out of her class and Mrs. Friday was watched very closely from then. She eventually left the school, but it wasn't until two years later and I no longer needed to fear her.

And now, as I walked down the block, I see what has happened to her. She's still crazy and all I wanted to do was push her in front of on-coming traffic. I was really traumatized by this, but then again, what haven't I been traumatized by?

He Who Is Without Sin.....

As I was getting on the elevator this morning, a person who works on the 10th floor in my IT department, who I usually say hello to, handed me this. At first I didn't know what it was. The rainbow lettering caught me off guard. I thought it was for something else (gay-themed came to mind). Then as I looked closely, it's a flyer for a religious youth group seminar, or party, or lecture, or slam, or dance, or sermon thingie.

I looked at him and cordially said thank you. As he got off the elevator, I wondered if his youth group knew about that affair he was having with the married woman on my floor about a few months ago. It's okay though, the Seventh Zion Mormon Church of Holy Latter Day Pentecostals of the Mount Jeursalem Baptist Church of Whatever can leave me out of their "plans" of redemption. If Trav was here, he would have sworn they were working with Donnie McClurkin's camp for "Retrival and Reprogramming".

Or it could be a rally of gay-religious folk. It has all the markings. Check out this flyer.