Just If....

Everyday I check to see if I get an email from him and I don’t.
Everyday I check to see if I get a voicemail from him and I don’t.
Everyday I check to see if I am still holding on.
Everyday I check to see if he thinks about me, like I think about him.
Everyday I check to see if I want to be mad at him or happy for him.
Everyday I check to see if I slip more and more away from him.
Everyday I check to see if I mean anything to him anymore.
Everyday I check to see if I’ll ever hear from him again.
Everyday I check to see if anyone would understand me.
Everyday I check to see if I….
Everyday I check to see if I....

Everyday I check to see, just if….

That Damn Closet

If my life were a movie, it more than likely is Usual Suspects. I would be the gay version of Keyser Soze. I only say this, because there are literally a handful of people in my life who don't truly know who I am. In other words, I am not out to them. There are particular reasons and circumstances why, but ultimately I feel that if they find out, my relationship with them might not stand the test of it. I mention Keyser Soze because in the movie, Verbal Kint aka Keyser Soze, never let on to whom he really was; only to the people he trusted. I feel like that sometimes. Let me explain.

It has always been a big insecurity of mine to have someone I know find out I am gay and reject me or cease to be my friend. This has happened once back in my time at Del State when a few of the guys I hung out with, found out I was gay and treated me like I had the plague. When I was in college, being gay wasn’t the “it” thing back then or rather it wasn't really normal and still a very taboo subject. I was closeted for the entire duration of my time there. So it was really hard to cope. I had my mom, Gary and Ken (my no-exactly straight roommate) to support me, a few people on campus knew, and even a boyfriend back home, but I still felt this thing where I would drive people away due to my sexuality. It bothered me to no end.

Needless to say over the next few years as I became more comfortable with myself and the people in my life, it was easier to say who I was and I believe easier for people to accept it. It came up once more with another guy I became close with while working at FCUK. That turned out okay, but I still think after all these years he still wishes I were straight for some reason. I had let go of that fear and when I found myself working at the bank, only close friends and co-workers knew. I didn’t go blabbing my business, because I didn’t know everyone. So I kept a lid on it, not to the extent I did in college, but still I covered it. I was being discrete and on a need to know basis. If you asked, I told.To which many of the women I worked with knew, because naturally I felt the women were more acceptant about it then the guys here, who are like hyper-masculine and all about tits and ass. Only one guy knows and he’s also gay, and older as well. He helped a lot with the “office-outting” I went through. However, you have all the guys in IT who think I am this pussy-loving, hetero who loves action flicks, 80’s cartoons, comic books, various music and Nextel phones. Which I am, but except the whole pussy-loving, hetero thingie.

Which leads me to other guys, the ones in the mailroom, whom I am the closest to. Orlando, Roger and Tommy have no idea what compromises the rest of Dré and something happened a few days, which was the reassurance as to why I hadn’t told them yet. I’ve known them for a little over 4 years now and they’re really great, funny guys who I like to spend time with in and outside of work. However, they have no idea that I am gay and sometimes I forget that I haven’t told them, because we talk about so much other shit, sexuality has never been an issue, even though I am guilty of a “yeah she’s hot” sentence or two. Orlando thinks I’m a girl magnet, because I am not afraid to talk to a chic. (If he only knew why.) I’ve been meaning to let them know, but I don’t want them to be different around me. I don’t want them to stop being who they are, so in an effort to that I end up sacrificing who I am. I know, it’s dumb, so let’s not get into that. I am sharing now. I never mustered enough courage to say anything to them.

So let’s speed up to the other day, we were having one of our funny discussions, about virtually anything and we got into political correctness. We talked a bit about it and it lead to Tommy asking why Latino males call each other “papi”. He’s heard it a few times and saw that many guys say it in the bodega in his neighborhood. Orlando (being Dominican) explained it that “papi, is a term of endearment to show affection, usually said by children to their fathers, said by wives and girlfriends or said by fags.” This caught me way off guard. So off guard that I got offended. I didn’t think the word "fag" would slip from him like that and he had this general disgust in his face. Then he changed the subject. I didn’t say anything about it, but laughed at the rest of things that were said and then left. I was in awe, but then I thought to myself, I don’t think he would have said that if they knew that Gay Soze was in the room. I keep saying to myself, there are hot-blooded heterosexual males, whom having a gay man present, no matter what he’s like, could be uncomfortable for them. Then there are the ones are unphased by it. Unfortunately, I think these would be the ones to have an issue with it (well maybe not Tommy). I have no idea why Orlando would say such a thing. He's one of the nicest, sweetest guys I know, and whom I get along with the most. It could have even been blatant ignorance that he said it or he really dislikes gay people. Either way, I don’t know. This stunned me to no end, because I was close to telling them that I was gay. I finally got the courage to tell them and then something like this happens which pushes me back in that damn closet again, which I don't really like.

Can I continue to put up this front with them to spare their feelings or do I feel there’s more at stake here? I have been approached with this before and was met with no opposition, so why wouldn't I expect the same now? Why can't I say something to them? Am I afraid that they'll react harshly? Maybe. Can I just ignore this and hold on a little longer until I no longer work here? I know what I have to do, but I don't want to now.

I don't know.

This is going to bother me for awhile.

1/4 of N*SYNC is Gay!!!!

I know I am not the only guy in the gay blogsphere to report this, but yeah, imagine my surprise when I read this moring that the most least-popular member of the boy band N*SYNC is a homo. It was released to the press today that Lance Bass is out and proud and in a stable relationship with reality tv star hottie, Reichen, from CBS's Amazing Race Season 1.

I've always had my money on JC at one point, but never in a million years would I think that Lance would be the one to be gay. Lance was so far off the radar, even my gaydar didn't pick it up. Needless to say, from what I read, he's happy, a little worried this might hurt the future of N*SYNC, but happy.

I'd be too if I had a man who looked like that too. What's so funny about this is that this makes the 3rd boyband member within several months to come out. Savage Garden's front man, Darren Hayes married his secret boyfriend recently and Mark from the UK group, Westlife came out earlier this year.

Next thing you know the least talented members of Backstreet Boys and 98 Degress will do the same thing. I am just waiting for one of the members of B2K to come out next (and ya'll know who it is you Raz B fans) and we'll be all good.

Emergence-SEE!

Today, me and Travis went to check out Daniel Beaty, an outstanding poet/artist/writer at the Public Theatre in the East Village. In almost full venue of people, Daniel performed a "work in-progress" one man show called Emergence-SEE!. This was a phenomenal piece of work, which was very powerful in delivery and in tone. It's a one man show, with layered multi-character personas throughout. The show's premise is about what happens when a mysterious and haunting slavery ship docks at Liberty Island, how the world reacts to it and its effects on a particular group of people. Daniel is a seriously talented individual, because his characters were real and he switched back and forth so fluidly, it was almost like watching schizophrenic television with a purpose.

I saw Daniel perform once several months ago at an invitational slam Travis performed at. He did piece about a little girl with AIDS name Clarisa (which he worked into Emergence-SEE). I knew then that he was amazing and to see something like that fully realized was something I'll always remember. For me, I loved how Daniel performed all these different personalities he works into it. It was a serious piece of work. It's inspirational to everyone who sees it and I definitely recommend you check it out when he peforms it. From what I understand he's touring with it. Check out his website for more details: www.danielbeaty.com


Now all we need is for my roommate to do is one man show. I am sure he's got enough material from both his and my bizarre world that he can do just as good, if not better. =)

My New iPod

Today, I finally got my iPod back. No, I didn't get my old Mini fixed, I gots me a new 30 gig Video iPod! I am so excited.

I got it in black and it's so much cooler and sleeker than the white. It's been about 2 months since my iPod was broken, so I was so happy that I was able to get another one. Even though I'll be giving out hand jobs at Hunts Point for about a week to pay for it, but it was worth it. (Just kidding about Hunts Point.I'll do that when I get my Xbox 360. LOL)

Now I have a reason to head to the Apple Store over the weekend to get rubber case for it. I don't want what happened last time to happen again. I'll go to the new one on Madison Ave, because that's the coolest store to be.

I am so happy to have something to listen to again while I am in the gym.

English Is Italian

Last night, I had dinner with a few co-workers (Meki and Maria) and a vendor of ours at this place called English Is Italian. OMG. I have never really had a food experience like this and I had to write about it, because if you ever get a chance to go to this place – GO! I had that much fun.

Maria and I met Meki and the others there around 6:00pm for an early dinner. We were really the only ones there. So it was pretty quiet. The atmosphere and tables were great and the music was slow to mid-tempo house music. We ordered a round of drinks. I had something called a Tuscan Sun, which pretty much tasted like a Sunny D on steroids. It was good. Anyway, the food ordering was very different than what I am used to, because it’s non-traditional, even though it seems like a banquet style dinner set-up. The meal is basically divided into 2 options. You can do two course of unlimited pasta and anitpasta. Then there’s the 3 courses with unlimited pasta and antipasta and an entree. We took option 2. Especially since none of us was paying for it, it was all on our vendor’s expense, so she went all out on us. She’s been there before and asked for a specialty demonstration, where a waiter prepares tableside, a dish made from warm, buffalo milk mozzarella with tomatoes and mushrooms. It was so interesting to watch this happen right next to you, plus it was delicious.

After that, plates of anitpasta came out: crostini, calzonette, eggplant caponata, and lamb riblets sprinkled in goat cheese. LOL. Then the pasta came out in plates. Then the main course. By this time, I thought I was stuffed, but since the portions are served with just enough for the people at the table you never really gorged on just one thing. I tasted so many food, I can hardly remember what else was there. By this time, our vendor Fran, had a friend join us around the time the fresh mozzarella was served. She works for MTV and we all talked to her about getting jobs, since ours will expire in a month or so. She gave us her card, but since she works in Sales, she said she would pass on our resumes, which was cool.

So dinner was over, we all got a cappaccino with an extra shot of Bailey’s, which I’ve never had before either and it was delicious. Then we got dessert. Which consisted of Zeppoles with a choice of caramel, lemon, and vanilla sauce for dipping and bread pudding drizzled in nutella. Dude, I was going out of my mind with this food! All of it was so delicious. There was so much food and the way the menu works, it’s about $39 per person, which is awesome for this type of cuisine. It might seem somewhat pricey, but it's worth it for a real NYC restuarant experience. Dessert is optional and an additional few bucks if you want it, but it’s definitely a place to take loved ones from out of town or really special occasions.

I am really contemplating of having my 30th birthday party there - it was that good!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean pulled off the sort of trick you can only really get away with once. Somehow it struck that balance between knowing send-up and rousing spectacle, and half the delight was seeing an expensive studio product transcend its unpromising theme-park origins before our eyes, with a wink, a nudge and a hearty "ha-haaar!" You knew then the second time around, it was never going to be plain sailing. As so, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is one of those rare sequels of a trilogy based film, which not only surpassed the original, but gave you hope that the next and final installment will be even better or at the least just as good. It's one hell of a ride!

If you’re not a fan of the series I suggest you check out POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl, right before you watch this movie, because there are things in Dead Man’s Chest that are direct carryovers and there are hints that were dropped in it that will have you kinda lost if you haven’t seen the original.

Dead Man’s Chest opens what looks like a few months after The Curse of the Black Pearl, Will and Elizabeth are about to get married when they are arrested for treason against the government and conspiring with a known criminal, Captain Jack Sparrow. This sparks the adventure when Will is asked to bring back Jack’s non-working compass in exchange for his and Elizabeth’s freedom. Meanwhile, Captain Jack is eagerly trying to find a key of some important significance, which none of his crew is aware is the key to the chest owned by Davey Jones. While Will is on his mission to find Jack and retrieve the compass, Elizabeth is set on her mission as well. The fun begins here as each character (Jack, Will and Elizabeth) has an individual storyline basically, to flesh out the rest of the film. Similar to that of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, where we follow the three distinctive groups during that installment and waiting for them to inevitably meet up. This style of storytelling is interesting and hard one to pull of, because there’s so much going on, but you know that one point, they all have to meet. But oh my god, the amount of stuff in this movie: there's a key to acquire, a chest to find, a magic compass, an island of cannibals, a voodoo fortune teller, a 3-way sword fight on a moving wheel, some signed letters, a mythical sea beast, and more. Added to which, virtually everyone from the first movie reappears at some stage, which can get mighty confusing after a few years of not seeing the first one. They'd have done well to provide a "previously on Pirates of the Caribbean" prologue, for those who weren’t nuts about the first film.

One minor thing, the film does require an awful lot of momentum-gathering to get to a good pacing. It takes awhile to get all the narrative plates spinning, but things fall into place once the real villain of the piece comes to light. Davey Jones, (played by an almost unrecognizable Bill Nighy) and his crew are to this film what Jack was to its predecessor. They're like a bad acid trip. They sail in a living wreck and have bodies composed of aquatic lifeforms: one has the head of a hammerhead shark, another has cheeks like a pufferfish, and Jones himself has a giant lobster claw for a hand, and a wonderfully slimy octopus head with a beard of tentacles. It's a triumph of special effects that this cephalopod creation is both unnervingly freakish, yet unmistakably Bill Nighy. They’re a wonderful addition to cast and actually had more life to them then the skeleton crew of the Black Pearl did.

From a serious geek perspective, after flirting with Looney Tunes comedy, Hollywood pastiche (Orlando Bloom's Errol Flynn moment on the mast), Peter Jackson-style grandiosity, and seafront pantomime, it eventually becomes clear what course the Pirates franchise has really plotted: a packed universe of characters; epic action; strange lands; freakish monsters; and a curiously sexless central couple. (I mean this is a Disney flick and all.) This isn't an updated swashbuckler, it's almost a backdated Star Wars. The comparisons are too plentiful to put down to just mere coincidence. Not only does the narrative arc parallel that of the Empire Strikes Back, but virtually every character here has a Star Wars equivalent. Ragetti and Pintel are the substitutes for R2D2 and C3PO, commenting from the sidelines, while Naomie Harris's Tia Dalhma, as a swamp-dwelling prophetess is a Yoda surrogate. Unfortunately, the Star Wars connection applies to Orlando Bloom, too. He's a Mark Hamill in the making. He's simply too boyish to conjure any sort of heroic authority. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if Keira Knightley turned out to be his sister, and there are hints that Depp's Jack Sparrow has the potential to do a Han Solo. Not to mention the Empire Strikes Back of an ending, where our heroes have to rescue on their own from uncertain outcome.

A new Star Wars - or perhaps Sta-haarrr Wars - is exactly what the movie world wants, and possibly needs, and Pirates is now more primed than any other to step into the breach. It happened with the Lord of the Rings, it could likely happen again in this decade with the Pirates franchise. Unlike other recent contenders, such as The Matrix, Pirates knows its mythology is pure gold. Where others have imploded in their own pompous and obnoxious storytelling, Pirates' self-awareness sees it through. There's enough invention and energy in this movie to make you want to see the next installment.

I frikkin’ loved this film from the very, beginning. It was tons of fun and made of everything a summer movie should be. I felt it was better than the original in scope, style and character development. One slight touch of a character driven piece, was when Will and Elizabeth were arrested and they read the name of the other fugitive, they both chimed in to correct the British envoy, with saying Jack’s name correctly as stating him as “Captain”. That put a smile on my face. The producers also made sure that this was a Captain Jack Sparrow movie indeed. This is Johnny Depp’s baby and you know it from the zeal he’s putting into it. And it was all about the Krakken. This was a serious piece of CGI, because it was so highly detailed and creepy with it’s 100-foot tentacles. Then there’s was that “whoa” of ending. I won’t spoil it, but like I said, go back to the first movie and you'll see what I mean.

I for one can’t wait until World’s End (tentatively title to number 3) and I won’t have to wait 3 years for it like last time. Next May cannot come fast enough.

My Colombian Breakfast

This morning, while in the mailroom with the guys, the man who heads up the runners for the interoffice mail systems, Ivan, brought breakfast for everyone - Colombian empanadas. I've had never had Colombian empanadas so I decided to give it a try. OMG. They were so good. Ivan even brought along a bottle of pique sauce. This just enhanced the flavor. This thing had some divine pork inside it, which was so flavorful and juicy. I had two of them and they hit the spot.

He said he would bring more in tomorrow. So I can have another Colombian breakfast.

I can't wait!

Today

Today, I decided to start cleaning out my 3rd room in preparation of Baby Boys arrival this week. I never knew how much crap I had. I mean I knew, but I didn't really know. LOL. If that made any sense. Travis and I used it as basically a storage room. Anyway, I went through boxes of crap that I've just nomadically kept with me since I lived in Bed Sty and before I left college. So this stuff has gone with me from my childhood home and my last 2 apartments.
There was a box of VHS tapes that I took an inventory of that need to be purchased on DVD, a slew of Anime that needs to be purchased on DVD, then there was just crap that I had left over from my last relationship. It's been 3 and half years since it's been over and I am just now getting rid of stuff accumulated since then. Needless to say it was very theraputic, old memories aside. Just to throw away things that I've kept for so long felt good. It put things behind me. (I am in Love's Basement.) LOL. So I consolidated boxes, threw tons of things away and now I am able to fix the closets and correctly store things, so Baby Boy can have a place to sleep for the next two months. I can't bring myself to toss a box of old toys I have though. Those I'll never ever part with no matter what you say. There's some great treasures in there. Some of which, if I decide to sell one day will bail me out of whatever financial bind I am in.

There are few more things I have to decided on, but other than that everything just has to be stored some or thrown away. Some stuff I am gonna sell on ebay or at the stoop sale in September my block is having. So that'll be fun.

Now I am just hungry and dusty. It was so hot today too and it didn't make it better. As of now, I am done for the day and I've ordered food. Now I am going to sit down, pig out and watch some all time favorites - Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dreamwarriors and then Part 4: Dream Master. Hot Damn!!!

Siren Music Festival@Coney Island

Today, a few co-workers and myself headed out to Coney Island to check out the Siren Music Fest. I've never been and the guys at work said that I would love and that they go every year. (Plus it's free.) We got there and I sure did love it. The bands that I saw were great, wierdly named,(like Deadboy and the Elephantmen or Dirty On Purpose) but great. I got there around 1:00 (Coney Island is like in my backyard, since it's so close to where I live), so I knew I was going to be spending alot of time there. At 1:30 everyone met up, unfortunately Orlando was a no-show without even a phone call, but Tommy and Meki were with me and we had a blast. My favorite band of the day was Priestess. They're a metal band, and I'm not too into metal, but they were good enough. They rocked out hard and the drummer had this ill solo towards the end of a song, that lasted at least 5 minutes. After the band played, we danced a little to intermission music they were playing. We saw this kid with a Priestess CD, we asked him where it was and headed to the Tower Records booth, we got the CD and one of the workers said if we wait around, the band was coming over to sign CDs. So I met the band, got some pictures. Got my CD signed and had a utter-fucking blast!

Then we went to play miniature golf, while another band called Man Man played next to the course. We danced. I messed up several times, since it was my first time playing, but I did aiight. I had a candied apple. Tommy won. Then it got cloudy and the rain was coming in. Tommy and I since we were country bumpkins, couldn't smell the rain prematurely, because we were next to the ocean. LOL. So we didn't know when to leave. We left just in the nick of time. We ran towards Nathan's, but that place was packed, so we went down the block. Nathan's smelled good, but it was too packed so we grabbed some corn dogs at another stand. Scarfed down those. The rain got worse, so we all ran to the train station down the block and all went our separate ways. I had so much, that I will definitely go back next year! Hopefully, the weather will be better.

Tommy, Me and Priestess (Vince, Mike, Dan, and Mikey)

Deconstructive Thoughts vs. The Cosmos

Have you ever questioned the universe?
Like really questioned the universe on what exactly the fucking plan is for you?
Have you ever really thought about what this life currently has in store for you and what it’s all about?

I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I am certain I am not the only one who does it. Just thinking about how events have shaped and influenced my life, where I’ve ended up and just many hours of introspective thinking. So much so, that it's been affecting many facets of my life. I just sit up late and think and think and think some more and sometimes I try to figure what's going on with me. I just don't know what's going on with me anymore. I get angry and resentful at everything and I try and I try to get a grip on things, but they seem to be beyond my control, but what I've been finding out is that negative thinking like this, where I am blame other factors is not healthy for me. There are just things that are seriously wrong with me. See there I go with the negative thinking again. Most of it is rooted in fear. I'm afraid of alot of things these days it seems and I know that most of it has to do with this undeniable fear of change. I hate change, only because I've never really known stability in my life. Even though what's changing is for the better, I am still afraid of moving forward on certain things and I know I have to. I don't feel ready. I don't feel at ease with the changes coming up in my life. It's all a process and it feels like I've been on this whole soul searching kick for a few years now and I have made some progress, but not enough to get me out of this funk I've been in. I also get easily sidetracked. The one thing that makes me happy, I find the hardest thing to do lately. I feel like I've been put in the middle of the ocean, in a one-man boat, and told to get to shore the best way I know how and without a paddle.

What I am saying is that, I know what I want, where I want to be, but have no idea just how to do or get there. I am at a loss for answers and all I do is search for them. I feel so lost and confused most of the time. I am questioning the greater world or that universe that I spoke about. I am putting myself out there one step at a time, but I am so afraid of it all. I've been living in my basement so to speak. (Thanks for the enlightenment Travis.) I'd be contempt in living in my little D-verse (Dré universe), but I know that's not practical and just another form of escapism I so love to do. It's just very hard to focus lately and get through certain circumstances that make up my life. I have to be perseverant though. I need to. I don't want to give up, but when that option seems to be much easier and so familiar to me, I tend to walk that road alot. I wanna run away, but I don't know where I'd go. Besides, where would I put all my shit?

I have so much to work on and yet so much to gain. I am unclear on what my outcome will be. I don't want this to be another set back for me, but the more I look at it, I feel that much more lackluster.

I am trying....I am so trying to keep a smile on my face and my head in the clouds. It's just tough. I have always had this weird underlying feeling that I'll ever measure up. It creeps in the back of mind all the time. I've admitted to myself that and I try to keep up with the people around me, to duplicate what they do and I am beginning to understand that I can't. I just have to be me and go at my own pace. (Thanks again Travis.)

But now that I got that all off my chest, I feel better.

Movie Review: Superman Returns

Back in 1978, Superman had become uncool and was relegated to Saturday morning cartoons in the SuperFriends. Making an epic film about a comic book character – with the memories of the campy TV Batman were still fresh – was a gamble and very, chancy. However, that gutsy move worked and Superman was back in everyone’s hearts. Superman 1 and 2 were made back-to-back, with original director Richard Donner shooting. Even though years later, when I could give a damn, I heard most of Donner’s II footage was later scrapped, yet that didn’t stop II from being that rare superior sequel.

Now Superman Returns had a long path to the big screen. After the Christopher Reeve series farted out, first with III, then IV was absolutely horrible. Can we say Nuclear Man? In both, Gene Hackman is fantastic. (Although he couldn’t save IV: The Quest for Peace. (Nuclear Man – Arrggghhh!!!!) He’s still the perfect Lex Luthor, Supe’s archenemy. We can honestly say the superhero movie genre died with the 4th Superman movie, but then add in the ill-fated Supergirl movie to the mix and you can say that assisted in the destruction. Then Tim Burton’s Batman came along in 1989 and juiced the superhero genre once more. Then Spider-Man. Batman Began again with renewed interest. And don’t forget that the X-Men movies were beasts too. So us geeks were doing well. Then Bryan Singer, who had helmed the first two X films and was lined up to do this year’s Last Stand, (which I still have wet dreams about if he did) but when Superman continued its crooked path to the screen and finally bent his way, he left Professor X for Clark Kent to film a Superman movie 19 years in the making. That’s a big burden to carry.

After seeing it, many will argue that Superman Returns isn’t as good as the 1978 Superman – or its superior sequel, II – but that’s just our fan boys screaming at the top of our lungs or old school fan boys who the original movies inspired so much to them and still holds a special place in their hearts. Superman Returns is not only a nod to those original movies, but it’s also a new Superman that can inspire a new generation of superhero dreams and was it pretty fucking awesome to boot. It’s certainly the best movie of the summer I've seen so far and one of the best movies I've seen awhile.

The plot was fairly simple. Lex Luthor with female lackey Ms.Tessmacher in tow, leaves a mansion after getting (and “assisting”) a wealthy woman to leave all her money to him. He jumps on a huge boat and heads straight for a mysterious place in the frozen north.Meanwhile, Lois Lane is a single mom of a five-year-old boy just days away from accepting her Pulitzer Prize for an article she wrote called “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” After all, he hasn’t been seen for five years. When Superman saves Lois and a planeload of other journalists during a crash, sparks are rekindled. But she’s tied to nice guy Richard. At the same time Clark Kent, returns to his job at the Daily Planet with buddy photographer Jimmy Olsen and editor Perry White. Somewhere in the arctic region where the Kryptonian learned all his vast knowledge via crystals recorded by his dad, Jor El – Luthor finds what he needs for his plan and it pays off big time. He figures out a way to not only become rich and powerful, but also destroy billions of people in the process. (Evil..oooohhhhh)

This is an excellent fucking movie. Bryan Singer is a genius behind the camera. He has a way of humanizing superheroes so there not so out of touch with the non-comic book nerd. With him also doing the screenplay writing, there’s a lot about this film that works. From the opening credits, which was a throwback to the originals, down to the same score, and even the characterizations were all nailed in this one. Singer’s choice for going with an unknown actor was a bold and great move. Brandon Routh, who looks a lot like Reeve, is fine as Superman. His mannerisms and actions fit the role. Frank Langella, is a great Perry White and even gets to utter the classic “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” line, but I felt he was a tad bit underutilized. Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor was very interesting. Hackman was good, but Spacey brought a real touch his Luthor who’s maniacal and a fuckin genius. Spacey however, I felt is not utilized enough either. While Hackman was given plenty of freedom to set Luthor free over the course of 4 movies, Spacey (and Posey) is too limited here. Maybe a planned second film will grant Spacey the room he’d so well deserve and work with. Even though, she made the role her own, I couldn’t help but think Kate Bosworth isn’t nearly the feisty foe for Clark Kent Margot Kidder was. She’s surprisingly bland.

Singer however goes out of his way to put his mark on the movie, focusing what many will hate is too much time in non-action scenes between Routh and Bosworth and I felt it only dragged in those sections where these two begin to get reacquainted. Singer’s best usage of Superman’s return comes when Superman sticks his head inside the fuselage after the plane incident. The look of how impressed the women are is funny and that humor is doubled when they are suddenly downtrodden and a bit jealous when his gaze goes only to Lois. Priceless. That’s great characterization there. One interesting debate could be that no film in recent memory has focused so sharply on a hero being a Christ-like figure. Superman’s called the light of the world, he came mysteriously from the heavens, returns from the dead, and in the movie he’s even called a “savior.” Discuss amongst yourselves.

The special effects in Superman Returns has some of the best special effects I’ve seen in movies. I often thought Reeves looked really stiff in flight. Routh does well with the flying scenes, down to the way he moves was on point for Superman. The cape wasn’t being pulled by wires, so everything felt organic and real against the wind, which gave it a large sense of realism to Supes dynamic. The plane incident is remarkable and realistic. My favorite scene has to be when the Superman held-up the fallen Daily Planet globe from crashing. The homo in me screamed, because Routh looks absolutely amazing and seriously hot in the costumed. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Muscles. Check. Super bulge. Check. Okay and we’re good. It was an awesome sight to behold.

No here’s the geek in me. Superman Returns is a great movie, if it only Singer didn’t rewrite Superman canon in both the films and in the books.

Superman Returns is set 5 years after he left Earth after astronomers found what appeared to be the remains of Krypton. I am sorry Krypton was 1,000 years away from Earth and in another galaxy. We were shown that in the opening credits. The last time I checked astronomers could barely make out the large mass of shit behind Pluto. Hell they don’t even know if Pluto is a planet anymore. So I need to know what telescope was used for this shit. I guess there’s a whole different level of technology being used here. As we can see from the Trans Continental flight using Space Shuttle affixed-technology to propel the normal jet faster than normal. (Go figure.)

Also squeezing this a movie set between the events of Superman II and III wasn’t the brightest move, unless he plans on re-writing the movie history and having us completely disregarding the other movies. What do we have to look forward to, Richard Pryor?!

This movie challenged the fans of Superman for everything we know of him. It challenged what we know and have come to learn of the Man of Steel. So far he’s a Superman, and from the movie, a super peeping tom and a super cock blocker. Not the Boy Scout we know and not so clean cut. This movie might be a well and perfect for the non-fans, but who will ultimately make or break box office bank – the fans. It’s the fans that will scream “Come one superbaby?!” Yup that’s right, the little boy in the movie is none other than Lois and Superman’s baby, whom she lied to Richard about it being his. (When they had sex, we’ll never know.) I guess that would a be logical step in Lois and Superman’s relationship, but being that it’s never happened in the books for over 70 years, I was a little shocked that it happened here. Will it carry over into the books? Who knows? When the tv show, Lois and Clark: New Adventures of Superman was on, the characters on the show got married and this prompted DC to make that a reality in the books. Could it happen again? I don’t know. However, we can add super baby’s daddy to the list. No matter the changes, somehow I was okay with them. The introduction of Perry's son Richard, who is played by ubercute James Marsden, is an interesting card to play. Also he was more utilized here than any X-Men film to date. I’m interested to see where this new dynamic can go. It was funny watching Lois Lane married to Cyclops.

All in all, I was thoroughly entertained by Superman Returns. It was an awesome movie. It’s not mind-boggling great, but it’s a very solid, exceptionally well-made movie. I would highly recommend the film to Superman fans and non-fans alike. This will definitely re-ignite the franchise as Batman Begins did. However, before we get sequel after sequel, can we get a team up movie: Superman and Batman, which I hear has been in the works for like ever.

The 4th July as Therapy?!

This was an odd 4th of July for me. Before you start saying, “Dré what happened now?” – let me explain. It wasn’t odd in the sense of something bad, just odd being different. I’ve never really experienced an ID4 such as this.

Usually, this time of the year I spend watching the fireworks somewhere. Whether it’s downtown Brooklyn, by the Promenade, on the Brooklyn Bridge, on tv or in the city at the South Street Seaport I am watching them. This year, Travis gets invited to watch the fireworks display at his friend’s apartment, which happens to be writer, James Early Hardy. I didn’t have a problem with it, I thought it would be fun, so I agreed.

Travis and I are late getting out there because I was getting my ass handed to me all morning playing The Matrix: Path of Neo and then he and I finished playing Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows. So yeah – the event started at 7:30, we didn’t get to the train until then. We however, got there in the nick of time before the fireworks, to settle in, get some drinks and socialize. We get there and the room is filled with several other African-American gay men. We size up the room very quickly and head for the terrace. Outside, I take in the air and the sights, given we were on the 16th floor of a Gramercy Park apartment. I got a really great shot of the Empire State Building (the budding photographer in me did rather) at dusk. So we sat outside and waited for the fireworks. During that time, I took in my environment to realize that I was stuck in some weird gay, black time warp. When we walked into the apartment I realized there was some old-school Oprah playing, not the 20th Anniversary DVD collection she just released, but an actual VHS tape of an episode with Patti LaBelle and Dionne Warrick from like the late 80s or early 90s. That was one. There was also the 80’s R&B pop music: Rebbie Jackson, Stacey Lattisaw, Shelia E, etc. Two. And of course there was the kind of guy that was there: older, black, fashionable and definitely gay. I felt slightly out of place there, I didn’t know why, but I tried to make the best of it. Travis knew most of the people there and was a social butterfly as usual, as for me, not so much which is rare, because I can have fun at an insurance seminar. Some how, some where I think Travis picked up on that feeling and turns to me and let’s me knows that “he just figured me out” and that “he gets me now” and ending with he felt like “he just met me for the first time”. I’ll explain that later in another post.

After a brief waiting period, the fireworks started. We had a good spot for it, right by the water, off of 1st Avenue. The fireworks were awesome as always and just from the conversations, I picked up, a few people including Travis had never seen the fireworks this close up before, so he had a great time. It was getting late, I was slightly tired from my insomniac episode the night before and plus we had to both work the next day. We said our good byes and started to troop back to the train. On the way back we had this crazy conversation about life, how we relate to it and others in our lives, and just being who we are in general. Travis and I are both at parts in our lives where things are beginning to shape and form and hopefully not being so out of control. He lent me a book of his from Iyanla Vanzant, which I am looking forward to reading and hopefully getting clearer thoughts and just clear on what the universe holds for me. It’s time for changes in both our lives, more so me than anyone. There are a lot of things I need to work on, change, reshape, let go and just move away from. Change is in the air now and I’m looking forward to it.

So what was odd about the night? One would never have thought that from a small gathering such as this, that life altering conversations would occur. You never think about that type of stuff celebrating the 4th of July. It’s funny how fireworks bring that in people. I'll definitely remember it. This night put a lot of things into perspective for me.