Movie Review: 300

First and foremost after watching 300, I felt fat. Huge. Enormous. Not for nothing, the trailer showed mostly the action and not half of the flesh that I saw in this movie. I so wanted to go back to the gym afterwards, that I felt like two-fingering my throat to bring up the popcorn I just gorged on while watching this film. Now that I have that out the way - here's the review.

If you're not familiar with Frank Miller, especially in recent years, you should be. He's not only written some of the best graphic novels in the last decade or so, but he had a few movies you might have heard of from the 90's called Robocop. Yup the badass android cop from the the future was a bi-product of Frank Miller's genius, but his vision was skewed by the Hollywood machine (as always), so they fucked it up from what Robocop was in his comic series. Which is apparently the case in recent years as most comic books are turned into movies and alot of the source material is ignored. The panels of graphic novels, or comic books, are a lot like the story-board art filmmakers devise to map out a sequence before they film it. You'd think they'd stick with this. Nope. So Frank Miller has refused to let this happen with his books and it started with 2004's Sin City. Sin City was an awesome book and even more awesome movie. It kept the tone and style of the books onto the big screen, because he was executive producer. And he's continued this with 300.

His inspiration came in the form of the 1962 movie The 300 Spartans, and as I understand it "changed him creatively", so he set out to make one of his own. 300 was born, which was a decade ago. At it's core, 300 loosely examines the battle of Thermopylae, a famous last stand that pitted 300 Spartans against the might of the Persian Empire at a strategic pass in 480 B.C, with a little comic book fantasy thrown in for a good measure. 300 isn't as historically accurate as you might think it is, but you'll get the jist of it because if you're familiar with the works of Frank Miller, you'll know that he's a graphic artist/writer who's written and drawn award winning and memorable Batman and Daredevil stories over the years. He's the guy you look to if you want to write a character driven piece. With that said, 300 ain't character driven at all. And that's not necessarily a bad thing for this attempt. It's a popcorn movie not an attempt to enlighten our Grecian history books.

The man who helmed 2004’s “Dawn of the Dead,” Director Zack Snyder brings a very lavish and audacious visual styling to this film. The cinematography is absolutely amazing. Graininess and sepia tones abound bathed the environments in colors not often used on film in this amount. If you thought the movie at first glance was all computer generated, you'd wouldn't be too far from the truth. It does, but it's the background since all of the action was done on blue or green screens. The director makes a conscious effort to replicate Frank Miller’s visceral and visual aesthetic on film, in the same manner of director Rodriguez’s “Sin City,” and the results are beautiful to behold.The film follows pretty much follows that of the graphic novel’s art panels, which makes for some really visually arresting sequences. It was like watching Greek statues come to life and doing battle Japanese anime-style with of blood splattering in slow motion every which way as heads roll and limbs fly.

I really, really wanted to love this film and I did. It was a good time at the movies, but the movie isn’t exactly perfect. The fault here lies in how antagonists play in the movie, the one thing a graphic novel does is give a reader time to flesh this particular feature out, film doesn't. Unless you're the Lord of the Rings franchise and can pull characterization through three movies, but the film lacks a certain depth that can come through quality scripting and fully developed characters. Actor Gerard Butler’s King Leonidas is easily the most interesting and compelling character of the picture. Butler has a good presence and channels a lot of the loss and hunger for glory you find in Russell Crowe’s “Maximus” character. Instead of being imposing or menacing, the villainous Persian Emperor Xerxes is comical and annoying. And if you're a nerd like me, you're gonna see some heavy Jay Davidson (the hermy from the Crying Game) channeling going on as Xerxes reminds me of Ra from the Stargate movie. He acts and speaks just like him. However, you never get the feeling of how bad this guy is. His army does all the fighting. He just walks around with a lot of jewlery on and gives you about the same credibility as any game boss did in a Super Mario game. And he ain't the only one. Xerxes follows an assortment of other one-dimensional Persians who never provide an interesting match for our heroes to fight. Xerxes’ best fighters are called “The Immortals,” but they come on like wave after wave of soulless video game cliches. In reality, the Persian army was quite human, but the movie plays them off as if they were supernatural zombie mutant ninjas. LOL. Hell I didn't think ninjas were in Persia at that time, but I accepted it here because I knew what this was. That's Frank Miller's spin on them, so any who the Spartans faught weren't historically accurate.

Like I said, he's a comic book writer, he wasn't doing this to be correct. Still, when you get your audience hissing and rooting during a nicely staged slow-motion battle sequence, the film is doing its job. Just for the oohs and ahhhs alone it's worth it for me.

Okay so after watching 300 you might have seen this stuff before and okay so it's not Academy Award Best Pictures Glory, Braveheart and Gladiator, 300 doesn’t achieve the same cinematic heights as those battle-hardened films, but it’s still a fun movie. Do yourself a favor and check it out. It's an epic and awesome experience. Even if you're not into ripped dudes in leather underwear and capes (which by the way was hot from my homo-movie critic point of view), go for the pure enjoyment of it. I know I am seeing it again.