Tales of a Jedi

Bone Suckin' Sauce

2008-10-06T18:25:00.006-04:00

So as I was perusing my local Duane Reade when I came across this lovely product.

I nearly peed-my-pants. I thought I'd seen everything, but if the makers of this product was looking to garner some attention, well they certainly got it from me. I am not sure which meat I want to put it on, but apparently it makes any meat you BBQ out of this world.

Apparently, it's all the rage and people are absolutely loving this stuff! See for yourself!

www.bonesuckin.com

90210. New Drama. Same Zip Code.

2008-09-03T20:59:00.006-04:00

As a society, we expect certain things. We spend good money on something we expect it to be good, whether it’s food, a car, a movie. There’s a high level of expectation going on, like we’ve all of a sudden all of us have become frighteningly aware of the universe and its many intellectual plateaus and we’re constantly searching for the answers that we’ve never gotten before. As adults, we have a higher level of expectation or just certain shit we’d accept. So what happens when you’re expectations runs too high and the thing we’ve waited for the most was dead on arrival? You’re disappointed. That’s right. You start running the gamut of emotions. Betrayal. Disloyalty. Anger. All of things you’d expect from having high expectations say for a parent, a spouse, a loved one, a friend or a relationship. So why in the hell are we doing this for television?!

This brings me to the new 90210 show which premiered last night on the CW. I didn’t know what to expect. So I went into this with very little pretense, but some trepidation that this would be a severe showing of wafting intellectuality. After waiting for a few months and finally watching the new 90210 show last night, I was left with one absolute conclusion – I’m old, although, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I am not going to recap the show in any way, if you haven’t watched it, go look online for the numerous articles about the season premiere, if you need to. I am addressing one thing and one thing only and that’s expectations.

Here’s what I did expect: A new show, not really written for my generation. So I actually had an idea of what was going to happen in the first episode and I knew it wasn’t going to be anything like say anything on HBO. So you get back to those expectations. And they were high for this show. News articles were written on how people were skeptical about it, because there were no advanced screenings. How will it live up to its predecessor? Well it can’t. It never will. Because it’s not 1990 anymore people! Different Times. 90210 is not curing Cancer. It’s a television drama and as with all dramas, they are slight exaggerations of real life, teen life to be exact. So when something really happens to someone that we know, we’re able to say “Wow, that’s like an episode of Desperate Housewives!” So again, as adults, if we told someone via text message that they were being cheated on, we’d probably say that’s some high school shit right? So when it happens on show about high school kids, why are we so surprised that something like that is a plot device on the show?!

I’ve been reading all this hoopla online about how the new show is bereft of any original ideas or its one big music video, or more pretty people, with money and pretty problems, but see that’s the gist of it. That’s the gist of all the shows that are on and are just like it. Its The Hills, The O.C., Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and god help me, even Degrassi: The Next Generation – all of them. They are aimed at one audience and one audience only – teenagers (more than likely teenage girls). Not twenty-something’s or thirty- something’s who remember growing up with this show. Hell, we shouldn’t even be watching this, but for those of us who did, keep in mind, they didn’t write this show for us, even if they did bring a few old characters from the original show.

Times have changed. Situations have changed. The ways in which we communicate have changed. High School has changed considerably and the things that kids are doing now, I never did. This new 90210 reflected that. When I was younger and waited to get into high school, I looked to that show as a way of gauging how it would be, how my life would be. Needless to say, my high school wasn’t West Beverly, but I saw the show for what it was; simply teen drama. Don’t get me wrong, the show wasn’t outright terrible. I can name several that are, but it is what it is and what it will always be; simply teen drama.

This is really in a response to the amount of criticism that I’ve read. Really bad and negative reviews have gone out and I can see why CW didn’t send out advance copies. Critics can be vicious, especially ones that want more from their scripted television shows, particularly from a continuation show that defined a generation a decade ago. They’re going to compare it to the other shows like it, who isn’t? However, the critics are not teenagers anymore. We’re not teenagers anymore. Most of us won’t get the reason for texting everything we feel or how easily it was to be betrayed and/or make friends from one instant to the next.

So if anyone went into this show thinking it was going to be Hamlet you’re just as lame for thinking it could be more than what it is. It’s taking the teen drama to the next level, not all wanting to be Grey’s Anatomy here. It’s being brash and bold and maybe not executing it right, but if memory serves me right, the original show got heat for being crap as well and then bam, 10 seasons later, it’s still on the air giving birth to shows trying to captivate audiences the same way.

I loved 90210 growing up. It was the 90’s, it was cheesy. Instead of Liz Phair, we got Paula Abdul on the soundtrack. For me the show didn’t get good until the epochal episode where David Silver became cool at the Prom. Go back and watch them, you’ll see. If not, most of the original cast of the first show is still around haunting basic cable channels. So you can see them in other places.

I just believe that we are asking way, too much from this show. Way, too much. We’re all older now. The same truths and reality for us is much different than it is nowadays and I believe we’re losing sight of that, above all when it comes to shows like this. It has a place, as much as reality shows, or the Wonder Years did. The teenagers of today are faced with more than I ever had to and this show reflects the changing times. Was it horribly acted at times? Yes. I mean, we’re not dealing with Olympia Dukakis or Sally Fields here. We’re talking about young actors and actress who will be idolized as the next teen sensations. How many of us hated High School Musical or thinks that Gossip Girl is sickening? You know why?! Because we’re not teenagers!

Adam Sandler's Bulge

2008-06-08T23:03:00.003-04:00

Don't Mess With The Zohan, the new Adam Sandler movie opened this weekend. And if you've been in NYC, you've seen the movie posters of the Sandman all over the city; on buses, cabs, walls, and train stations everywhere. Apparently, these posters are causing people to stare and vomit due to their graphic nature. Ahem.

I read online somewhere that this girl was nauseated at the poster above because "Adam Sandler isn't sexy and his hairy legs and obviously, fake bulge repulses her." I actually thought it was funny and made me look at few times, but then again, I am gay and all. No, Adam Sandler isnt sexy. He's never been sexy and to even think that now, is just dumb of her. I think she's actually turned on by the fact that his crotch is that large. She's probably wondered about it for a while and is just acting out. But I could be wrong.

There is another poster around town that has him doing a split and does show a might crotch. These posters, I think are hilarious and is actually very, character driven, considering he is a ladies man in the movie. Adam Sandler movies are always exaggerated. I saw the trailer the other day and this will definitely be on my summer movie list. So get your chip off your shoulder lady and Don't Mess With The Zohan.

Black Panther: The Animated Series

2008-04-21T21:04:00.005-04:00

BET announced today that they have partnered with Marvel Comics to create an animated series for the Black Panther. I have so many problems with this.

Yes, I know another comic legend is getting his own animated series, which is always cool. Then again, I also believe that this is a character that is not as widely popular as he should be and may not have that much of a huge following to have an animated series, but clearly BET believes it should be one.

It’s also pretty obvious why BET picked this character, because it ain’t about popularity. Reginald Hudlin is the Head of Entertainment at BET and he’s also the current writer for the Black Panther. Not hard to figure out. It may have changed my original thought that he was picked because of his color. It’s not shocking since it is BET and all, but I still feel that in the back of my mind.

And really, an animated series on BET? Are you kidding me? They’ve been struggling for years with bad programming and it's so horrible. Remember the BET broadcast premiere of State Property 2 a few months back? A large majority of their current programming is a mirror image of what’s out on MTV – just black. (i.e., The Hills and it’s BET counterpart Baldwin Hills, TRL and 106th & Park, etc.) This includes reruns of older shows that are now off the air. I think an animated series that’s not urban, may fail.

BET is aimed totally at younger, black audiences. It might be a hard sell to get 13-20 year olds, who may not be into comic books to get into this. Since it’s in primetime, it would have to be gritty and dark, not a G/PG version of it. And since he’s not everywhere like Wolverine, who will really know him besides the ones who read the book or people that deep into comic books? I think it might get lost on this channel. If it were on FOX, I can see it happening or even the Cartoon Network, considering they always do comic related cartoons. But BET is ghetto!

Based on their audience, my fear is that they will “thug out” or urbanize the character, transporting him from his African kingdom of Wakanda and placing him to fight evil doers in some urban city a la Batman. It has been done before and I don’t see why it won’t be done again. They’ll do anything to make him more relevant, including holding two guns and somehow incorporating massive amounts of gold into his costume. It’s what I am afraid of given what BET is, however who’s to say that won’t happen. It may not. I’m hoping it won’t. Let's pray to every comic book god we have.

The Pope Wears Prada

2008-04-17T23:33:00.005-04:00

So I've been hearing a lot about out new Pope lately. The stories about him being a Nazi at one point in time, allowing the conversion of an Islamic to the Catholic faith and most recently his style of dress. He's been seen wearing Gucci sunglasses, a white, specially engraved iPod and some shoes given to him by GEOX. And there are a few companies trying to be the ones responsible for the new Popemobile, BMW donated a bulletproof X5 SUV to him this past October, but he hasn't used it yet.

So fashion wise, this new Pope is keeping up the times by not wearing brown shoes like the last pope, but some bright, ruby red, Dorothy Gale shoes. When I first saw the image of him stepping off a plane, I was like, are you for real?

Yes, his grace is wearing handmade loafers crafted from an "Italian shoemaker", although I don't know which one yet. Some say it's in honor of the many years he wore red as a cardinal. Bullshit, he's from Italy, he might as well throw on a pair of shoes from Cavalli, since he's in one of the top fashion captials of the world. I did some research and the papal show has been red at times, but not since like 1969. It was such a throwback.

Oh Pope Benedict, you're so Miranda Priestly right now and you kinda actually look like Meryl Streep too. I am just happy he's into fashion and not little boys.

I know -- I'm going to hell

Is it too late to write my Congressman?

2008-04-15T19:42:00.000-04:00

Yes, I get that she’s this multi-platinum singer and she’s set and surpassed all types of records for a female contemporary music artist, but something has to be done to stop Mariah Carey from taking over the world like those aliens in Independence Day, of which I don’t think even the likes of Will Smith can save us.

Her first conquest was the internet. Mariah’s new album is called E=MC2, that’s only for the people who’ve been living under rocks or living in Pakistan these last few months. If you haven’t noticed yet, she’s strategically trying to ruin young, developing scientific minds all over the world by replacing Einstein’s Theory of Relativity with her new album name. Go ahead I dare you to look it up in Google. She’s the second result. In Yahoo, Einstein is not even suggested as a search term, she is. Junior High School science projects are now in shambles.

As my boyfriend loves to point out in nearly every conversation that has nothing to do with Mariah Carey, she’s got a new movie coming out at the end of the month, that’s premiering at the Tribecca Film Festival, which he just scored a ticket for. So not only did she have an album drop today, but she’s causing people to now drop $15 bucks to see a movie, she’s co-starring in.

To make matters even worse, MariahDaily.com, which is the equivalent of an Al Qaeda Yahoo portal, spoke about something happening in NYC in honor (aka horror) for the premiere of the movie Tennessee. Apparently, for the entire weekend of April 25th, The Empire State building will be lit in Mimi’s new album colors of Purple, Pink and White. Yeah, what the fuck?!

It is to my knowledge that Mariah has started her campaign to completely take over the world, building her army of Auto-skanks each step of the way. Her next conquest was the owners of the Empire State Building. I have never known any artist, musical or otherwise to change/enhance a monument to promote themselves. Shameless, I think not. She’s becoming a world power people and she has to be toppled.

Mariah has to be stopped now! So I’m asking, is it still too late to write my Congressman about this? Can I picket outside of the Empire State Building when it lights up? Do I have to go down on Gov. Patterson to veto this? This is ridiculous!

Creative Bumps

2008-02-12T20:14:00.000-05:00

No matter if it’s a story, a new character or a concept, it’s really odd how creations can morph and take shape to be completely different than what it started off to be. It takes on a life of its own.

I’ve been working on this one concept for a few years now and it keeps transforming and not in a cool 80’s robot kinda way either. This concept the way it has progressed could have been a movie, or a tv show or a novel and now it’s completely going in another direction altogether. For the most part, as I create, I visualize as I move along the creative line. What would be the best visual medium for this is how I envision a lot of my concepts that I work on. When I feel that it’s not working, I’ll go back and retool. So with this one concept, I’ve been stuck on a few things as far as progression, because it gets to a point where I go, “wow that’s not going to work at all” and then I have to start all over again.

So I’m working on the script for this creation of mine that has reached comic book status and I’m working on the dialogue and then it happens again, like just now and I instead of harping on it, I decided to write a blog about it instead. The concept is clear of what and who I want to write about, but I think I am shooting myself in the foot, because the words “longevity” or “shelf life” keep popping in my head. I'm writing a comic book, but I feel that I'm writing myself into a corner thinking that this can be some sort of monthly book that I can do, when in actuality this story is so self-contained, that I’d be lucky if I can a graphic novel out of it. It’d be a good 6 issues long. So every time I write a page or two of dialogue, I’m like having visions of future issues and then I say to myself, wow this will never do. Am I dealing with a self defeatist writers concept? You betcha!

The problem that I am struggling with is that, every time I write something, I think it starts to sound like something that has already been done before and so I think I start to doubt the task at hand. I don’t want to be compared to someone else work. So coming up with something fresh and new is actually really taxing and annoying when creating a new comic book. No matter the genre, some things have been done to death and I am looking to expand on the comic genre, by introducing a cool new concept, but yet get bogged down by already established ones. Yeah, who can work like that?

So I take a breather and hopefully, this little creation of mine stops turning on it’s head and I can actually finish an issue of it. At this rate, trying to pull a Joss Whedon (almighty) is not in the cards, but dammnit if it aint the hardest thing to do, when you don’t live and breathe writing comics or just writing in general. I need to get back to it.

When I was in high school or even in college, all I did was write and draw. I created a little universe, which I think I mentioned called D-verse. It’s where I created and dumped all of my creations (heroes, villains, etc.) I wrote backstory for everyone and included current storyline notes for future reference. Needless to say, many of those stories were canned, because as time went on, the superhero genre was changing and frankly my stuff started to read like rejected X-Men storlylines or some Image Comics, wanna be Youngblood crap. It would have been goofy, 90’s noir. Cheese and spandex people. Cheese and spandex.

So it started, the morphing, everything I had, started to change. I had a bucket of characters to choose from to create new tales to spin, but yet, all of it kept expanding. Situations would change, but yet the characters were all still intact, well maybe for small tweaks. So after years and years, I can never really find a clear and defined story until like a month a go, where a story was forming and for once it was working. Characters, plot, development, all of it was taking this new rigorous form and I ran with it. Oh did I ever. So I had a premise, which I scrapped, because it was the odd back story that was stopping it from flourishing. Now that we have that out of the way, when I realized that I finished at least 30 pages of dialogue and now, none if it works, because it just changed – again! The life of a writer.

Life as an Admissions Rep

2007-12-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

I am clearly the host of a new, whacky reality television show “I Want To Go School”. What it really should be called is “I Really Have No Idea What To Do With My Life, So I Am Going To Waste Your Time, Come In For An Interview and Not Enroll In Your School, Because I Clearly Cannot Make Any Important Life Decisions That Would Better My Life and Circumstances.” Or maybe more simpler -- “Loser Island”.

So this is third month of my new job as an Admissions Rep at a school in the city. At first I was excited about it, because everything sounded like something I can do, which I can without so much difficulty. However, after being here for some time now and seeing what’s involved – this is completely not for me in any way, shape or form.

Day in and day out, I have to deal with people that have more issues that Jet Magazine, but yet feel the need that the answer to their solutions is going to school. Which is always great, but these muthafuckers can’t even commit to holding an interview appointment let alone time to attend school. Everyday, I speak to individuals who claim they want to go to school, but have no idea how to accomplish it. I understand that there are always set of circumstances surrounding people in no-win situations, but I have never heard of window shopping for education. You would be surprised at the things that I’ve heard, from people being unemployed for at least 3 years – 5 years. Anyone that I talk to barely has a HS diploma or GED and they’re well into their 30’s sometimes. Single mothers, who are about to be put out of their boyfriend’s house or their momma’s house. People who can’t read. And it appears that every Latina in the Bronx/Queens somehow wants to be in the medical field and never strives past wanting to be a nurse. The black people calling up wanting to work in maintenance, janitorial, or something to with auto mechanics. How do I get these folks oh yeah, they were home watching TV that morning and saw a commercial about going to school and then decided to change their life. That’s usually the reason for calling or just that they are fed up with the current situation of their lives.

The amount of people who’ve dropped out of high school is astounding. Every 3rd person I speak to have this issue and unfortunately, I can’t work with about half of them, due to the program limitations of the school, but I still have to deal with them on some level, whether directing them to a GED program or have them understand their dreams. It’s gotten easier to speak to them, but what frustrates me is the lack of commitment these people have. It’s staggering and unfortunately, my livelihood, my job in other words are based on these losers actually showing up for an interview and ultimately enrolling. If I can’t get an unemployed, single parent enrolled as a student here, my job is looked at as forfeit, because clearly, I am not “selling the dream” enough. It’s frustrating because like I said, my job is dependant on these people who have not one responsible bone in their body. At the end of the day, it’s that enrollment. If at the end of the week, if I don’t have 3 to 4 enrollments, my job is in jeopardy. I am not enrolling (producing) enough to sustain my pay thus my job. Also, it’s those who do enroll are worse, if they cancel their enrollment before school starts, it’s held against me. So in a fair world, that would be pretty unfair right? Nope not to my school. We are admission-bots, unfeeling, uncaring about lying to people about programs we don’t have just so that they can come in the door and try to switch them to something else they’re not interested in. I am so not on the path of the jedi.

Everyday, I speak to people who are “just looking” for information, which is okay, but not to my bosses. Every person who calls, I have to bring in for an interview or every person I call has to be brought in for an interview. Then it is my job to sell them the dream of an education and the value of it and close…umm…I mean enroll them right then and there. Yes, ladies and gents this is a sales job now. Right up there with magazine subscriptions and times shares. I’ve got to close a.k.a. enroll possible students into a school that’s campus is literally only 1 floor. It only takes them $50.00. Imagine me telling that to a jobless, single parent who is tired of retail positions, can’t stand being on public assistance and just wants to get an education because they dropped out of high school at grade 10. It’s not an easy sell. So all of my time is trying to convince folks that yes, my school is the way to salvation and to change, immediate change, since our programs “can change your life in less than a year”. Not my words. I was told that I had to say that on the phone when I am reading from the prepared script, I swear to god.

Even as I write this, no matter how much training I get for the job, this is clearly just a job and not something I want to do. So when do I stop trying to help other people realize their dreams and potential and start to begin fulfilling mine? Good questions. This is just something to pay the bills right now, but the job that’s paying the bills right now is wearing on me fast and I have no idea how long I can keep this up. This job sucks! The pay sucks, but at the time, there was nothing else available, so I had to take it, crappy benefits and all. So before I get stuck at another meaningless job that will never amount to much in my life, I need to get out of here quick and fast before I drown in another session of dream deferment.

Who Knew?

2007-09-06T22:04:00.000-04:00

In 1989, there was a movie I absolutely loved called How I Got Into College. It was basically about a bunch of high school students and the many pressures surrounding the SATs and getting into the right college. There was also a side story surrounding the Administration Office and a few of the officer's struggle to bring in "great, smart kids instead of the usual, stiff affluent ones". It was a cute, little movie starring Anthony Edwards as the heart of gold Admissions Officer, doing his best to bring in the "right kinda student" and Lara Flynn Boyle, as one of the students he's trying to get in to the school. If you're ever in Blockbuster, pick it up. You might like it.

Based on that movie, I thought I had gotten a good sense of what an Student Admissions Officer did. I really didn't know myself, because I didn't have one when I applied to Delaware State. So now, I am a few days into my Admissions Officer in Training, I didn't realize how involved this entire process is. I had no clue. I went into dealing with Student psychology, treating this as a sales job. Instead of selling encyclopedia's, I'd be selling educations. So after hours of role playing with my other trainees and watching a video about proper student admissions from a well known public speaker, way back in 1986 - I realized something....I fuckin' hate Anthony Edwards!

=P

The Mistake Heard Round The World

2007-09-06T21:26:00.001-04:00

As the days approaching my job, I was informed that the job consisted of a very, corporate minded environment. Suits. Ties. Polished shoes. Since working at the bank, everything was very business causal and so I didn't have that many suits (just the one acutally) and I had several ties, three of which were ugly ties left over from high school. So some new wardrobe choices were in order and it was the one thing I was worred about.

So call it an abscence of logic or just dumb reasoning, but I was told that Tuesday I had to swing by my new offices and fill out paperwork. I woke that morning, not conerned with what the day would bring, because to me it was a low impact day. Paperwork. My new boss was still on vacation and I would just be filling things out by meeting the office manager. So I just threw something on. Basically jeans and a t-shirt. Now grant it, Rick told me about wearing something else the night before and I shrugged it off as being a overly-cautious suggestion, one that I didn't heed and more than likely should have listened to initially.

I show up and everything is cool. Well except for the fact that no one knew who I was. My new boss wasn't around and informed only a few that I'd be showing up today to fill out paperwork. I was a mystery new-hire: in a t-shirt and jeans. So it was wierd to begin with as I found out later. After filling out the paperwork, I met with Hefty Smurf really quick, where I am then lambasted for my choice of dress and basically condemned for being completely stupid for doing so. I took the critque as severely dramatic and extremely hurtful. I rushed out of there as soon as I can.

As words are exchanged and reasoning explored, I clearly didn't know what I was doing in wearing what I wore, because my reasoning was simply -- it was just paperwork. It didn't end up that way. The malady turned ugly and Hefty Smurf's rep was in danger and possibly frowned upon, because it was at his behestment that I'd be interviewed for the position, because he was being a friend and a being who knows me, felt that I could do that job. His recommendation might now seemed ill-informed. People saw me. So not only was I there and was a new hire with no paperwork at all in the que, but I as dressed similarity to that of a student. Big mistake. Commenting to him was the first step, but it also got back to my new boss apparently, who approached Hefty Smurf on the subject of his new hire, mainly me. I don't really know what was exchanged, but the end result was that I was talked to about it by Hefty Smurf and that I would not do it again. Momentary insanity was more than likely the story. (who knows)

Now as guilty as I had already been feeling, I was hoping that it wasn't a big deal and that now that my training had started, we could all look in the other direction and move on. Nope.

I can't blame this on anyone or anything, but myself. My judgement of the situation wasn't the greatest no matter what I was doing. It seems it was about as damaging as wearing a suede Sean John sweatsuit to my first day of training. Even though I felt that I hadn't started working, it was no biggie, but as I was reminded a few times, first impressions mean everything and I fell flat on my face for my impression. In this type of environment, I had to fit the part. I didn't.

I thought I was going start with a bang, but it became a stutter. Hopefully, I can make up for it in being sucessful at my new job. If I don't I wouldn't be able to deal with letting people down who believe in me doing the right thing.

I'm Not Dead

2007-09-01T01:49:00.000-04:00

Yeah..it's been a minute.

I haven't written anything in a very, long time. The last post was well back in April. (Well a published one that is. There were others that had never seen the light of day.)

So I bet you're asking yourself, "Hey Dre, where have you been?" Well if I had some readers than sure, but I guess this is truly for me or those few friends that I have who read my blog.

Where I have been? Around....the house mostly. When you are unemployed as long as I have, you really don't do much. I've spent most of my time, surfing the internet for work, playing my Xbox 360, and watching endless amounts of soap operas. I am such a big fan of General Hospital now (it's so ridiculous) !

"But you're home, why not write?" That's a good question.

My absence from the blog sphere has been great. How has my life been since then? I would love to say SSDD (same shit, different day), but it really wasn't. It's been a roller coaster. A very rickety, one at that too. I had fallen into that place where I didn't want to detail every single aspect of my life. Am I that interesting? Not really. At least I don't think so. When I was writing before, there were a lot of things happening to me at the time, so I had tons to write about. However, after reality chose a wicked state of affairs for me, I felt it unnecessary to write down all the crap that was going on, because after awhile it would just start sounding like complaining.

There has been things going in my life, but I really chose not to speak about them. Why? Because honestly...I didn't want anyone to know about it. Writing here was an outlet, so when that outlet was no longer viable, I decided to keep it to myself. But there's been a shit storm of things with me.

So why am I writing now? Well that's another good question. Things are finally starting to turn around and look up for me. After battling borderline depression, being unemployed for so long, being miserable, the weight gain, death of a family member, dealing with my estranged father, the dwindling of money, relationship growing pains, an insane stalker and the total doubt of my existence -- I was frankly writing post its, instead of postcards from the edge. There wasn't a shred of cathartic release in sight.

Recently, I started to realize that I was drowning, very, very slowly. The money I had from the stock buyout had been shrinking every week. I was at the end of my rope. I found myself being highly agitated at the littlest things and I was trying so hard to keep all of those feelings in, as to not to lash out at the people around me. I finally found a way to channel that strength into really finding that job. So I've been making some calls, sending out endless waves of resumes and cover letters. Friends even helped me with sending my resumes out to people they knew who might have been looking for new employees. I said to myself that I wouldn't let this pull me down, even though it was doing it so well. I had to pick myself up before it was too late. I was looking for a job that was ever so tragically was slipping from me everyday. Ah..the elusive perfect job wasn't happening for me, so I had to begin looking for something -- less suitable, but more practical in terms of settling for something for right now to at least just to keep money coming in.

Then I got a phone call. Today actually. Hefty Smurf passed my resume onto a colleague where he works and then a few days later, I get a phone call from him. It was pretty much a phone interview that lasted for about 15 minutes and resulted in a very, quick offer to work as a Student Admissions Officer. It was a rather impromptu and unorthodox thing and he said that. It happened very quickly. So before I knew it, I was back in the working class again, with not so much as blink. It wasn't what I wanted, but it's a job.

And I start on Wednesday.

venting/screaming at the ceiling

2007-04-18T21:01:00.000-04:00

If having to look for a new job isn't annoying enough, having to look for a new apartment is even fucking worse.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I want to just give up on everything, but know that I can't. This is so frustrating and sometimes I know I am not really helping matters by being so negative. I can't help it. I feel so irresponsible and just plain out of controlable.

If it's not having to deal with the how's and the why's I am still unemployed, but having the uncontrovertible fact that I am in this insanely scary situation and I am not showing my mature side of trying to handle things.

The fact of the matter is when looking for an apartment a few factors are involved: proof of income and having a good credit score - both of which for me is sucking right now.

It sucks so fucking hard.

There are things that get me easily annoyed and frustrated and it doesn't take much for me to spiral into an emotional fit the size of Texas. I know I should be listening to my loved ones, but this is so - unfair. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for any of this. So when shit like this goes down, it just shows one how unprepared you really can be when life takes a turn and not for the better. I wasn't in the best of situations before, so having to look for a new apartment only complicates every detail of my life. I've been getting by on god's good graces and somehow a combination of pure luck and survival skills. Not a great claim to fame, but something I am holding on to.

I've been heavily avoiding things, but sinking myself into video games, because dealing with real life hasn't been the best lately, but even that's starting to take a different turn, because it's no longer helping, since it's getting closer to the time I have to be out of this apartment I've been in for the last 4 and a half years.

I told Travis yesterday about how I felt, like I don't feel good enough. He told me that he knows that, because I've had this conversation with myself and others before, so it's no shock to him. This is how I deal with things. This is how I cope.

I am utterly scared right now. I sit in front of this computer and search for jobs. Some of them I feel suitable for and others I don't. I feel like I don't even fit in for the jobs I've applied for. It makes me feel that I wasn't doing what I could when I was working to be better at my craft, but I can't look back on that now. I gotta get a new outlook and apparently some new luck. The luck I have is a little tattered, but it gets me by. Anyone can tell me what they think I should do and I hear them, I do, but in many ways I have to push myself. I gotta scare myself into doing things. Kinda like how you have to push someone in a pool to force them to swim. Unfortunately, when my dad pushed me into the pool - I just sank. Go figure.

Right now, I am praying that I find greater strength in finding a new a job and a new place to live. Other than that, I don't know what else to do.

Movie Review: Grindhouse

2007-04-10T17:55:00.000-04:00

I had my first experience with this style of cinema when I was a young lad, living in California at the time. (yeah I lived in Cali on an Army base no less.) There was a drive-in theater I went to with my mom and I was subjected to two movies called I Spit On Your Grave and The Last House to The Left. Funny enough, I didn't actually see them until the late 80s. I saw the marquee for them on my way to see the original Day of the Dead with my mom, which was fine by me, but I was intriqued by the titles alone. So when I found them finally in a video store I frequnted, the guy told me to watch them "back to back" like the old days. And I did. Ideally, these films should not have been made just for the sheer audacity of the subject matter themselves. To sum them up in one word, I would say "sickening"

These types of movies haven't been made in a very, long time, but some of them are made more stylistic-horror, like for example, Eli Roth's HOSTEL recently. Grindhouse films are gritty, nasty and utterly dispicable, but you can either love them or hate them. They're apart of the cinema canon as anything else these days. Which brings me to the movie I saw over the last weekend, which is also called Grindhouse. It's an nod to the days of the early 70s when movies like this were shown in double-feature style. So when there's a grindhouse feature called Planet Terror and Death Proof, with Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriquez associated with it - I had to check it out.

If you're not old enough to remember grindhouse movies, Wikipedia has a lovely definition for it and highlights and expands on it perfectly.Given that it runs three hours and 11 minutes and comprises two feature-length movies along with an assortment of bogus trailers, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse might be called a cinematic Double Whopper with Cheese, oozing grease, ketchup and a dare to find a better bargain anywhere at the multiplex.

Grindhouse doesn't aim simply to re-create two 30-year-old movie types. It's also out to conjure a whole bygone movie-going experience: what it was like to see a genre double-bill in a seedy second-run theater in the 1970s. Artistically, Grindhouse turns out to be in its own deliberately way to be plain ole trashy. Teaming up for a double-feature tribute to '70s-style grade-B cult movies, Rodriguez serves up a zombie shocker á la Night of the Living Dead, which Tarantino follows with an offbeat car chase thriller in the mold, roughly, of Vanishing Point (which was even a plot device to move the story along and had alot to do with the last half of the movie). These are in no way spoofs, parodies or quasi-remakes. They are a double-barreled work of pop art whose success, paradoxically enough, results from filmmakers apparently operating in tandem perfectly.

This movie takes you back in the day. Tarantino previously tested many old school elements in the Kill Bill movies, so when he went all out with this one, it all felt right and familiar. So when you saw the vintage "Coming Attractions" and "Our Feature Presentation" light-show animations were insanely on point and authentic. Even down to the fake previews is part of this experience. So is the blizzard of technical deficiencies, i.e. scratches, blurs, jump cuts, audio pops, "missing reel" announcements—that's wittily and artificially applied throughout Grindhouse. I was in awe at just how the movies were excuted not even from the subject matter. I enjoyed every single, solitary crazy minute of this movie. I even felt that Fergie's scene was better than the whole Mariah Carey movie Glitter. It was that good. That should show you how much I loved this movie.

It's very, nostalgic. Like I said before, if you're old enough to remember the era of Night of the Living Dead/Vanishing Point, then you'll have a great time, but then you'll have those too young to recall it. As a member of the first group, I'll go ahead and say that I am a huge fan of the genre of films Rodriguez and Tarantino pay tribute to here, but if you're not, you're still unavoidably susceptible to the memory buttons they're pushing. But what about younger viewers? How can you be nostalgic for something you never experienced? Perhaps the easiest answers are that any viewer can be entranced by Tarantino's and Rodriguez's feel for these old movies, and that such films have long since passed into the collective memory anyway; even if you've never seen the original Gone in 60 Seconds or Day of the Dead, ya kinda have.

In effect, Grindhouse reminds us of what we've lost and it does so at the most basic of levels. It gives us the blotches, splices and glitches. It overheats and goes over the top. It transports us back to the tawdry, low-grade thrills once widely available in cinema's disreputable bargain basement. If I have to say anymore, then I'll say this - GO SEE THIS FUCKIN' MOVIE!!!!

Turning 30

2007-04-09T19:16:00.000-04:00

For as long as I can remember, I barked repeatedly at the fact that I was turning 30. It wasn't going to be pretty for me, because I was one of those guys who fought everything about turning 30 and what evils would be bestowed on me. I guess it was the stigma attached to it and that got me all riled up. Turning 30 was not looking good to me at all. All I kept saying to myself was "30 was like 50 in gay years." My reasons for saying that was tied to the fact that I didn't want to get or feel old. If you knew how the gay community gets around getting older, you'd know what I am talking about. We're not revered, we're made fun. "Look at the old mad at the bar." I can hear them all now. So you could imagine my last few weeks before turning 30 were insane for my mental state.

So as the days got closer to the my birthday, I reasoned internally and told myself that I wouldn't let this get to me. I started to plan a party, a big one. One that would make me remember 30 and have good memories surrounding it. I decided to make an entire weekend of it.

My birthday was on a Thursday this year, which oddly enough coincided with the Easter season and specifically on Holy Thursday. I tried to make jokes that day about how I was synonymous with Jesus, but they all just came off being sacrilegious. I had lunch with a friend of mine, who I haven't seen or talked to in awhile and he ended up taking me to lunch that day. Then I met my boyfriend, Ricky at Union Square, where we ended up walking around a little and went to PETCO to get the our dog, Oscar some stuff and then we headed down to SOHO so I can venture a peek at the DC Shoe store. As we headed down there, we saw there were some people waiting outside a building, which had a limo parked outside. We waited 5 minutes in the crowd before we finally found out that Christina Aquilera might be in the building. So I said, okay we can wait, if she's coming out soon. Then it began to snow. (yeah, snow) We didn't want to wait anymore, needless to say she wasn't that important. We got over it very quickly and we headed a few more blocks down to the store where I got some really awesome sneakers. Then we went back home were Ricky made dinner and also made me a cake, which was so sweet of him. He made my night.

Then Friday night I had a Field Trip to the movies to go see Grindhouse. (Click here for a review.) I invited some friends along and we all had a good time. I even got a great birthday gift from Ricky. He got me Guitar Hero 2 for the Xbox 360, which is the greatest thing in the world for me. I love that game! Grindhouse was insanely awesome and anyone into grindhouse flicks or a Tarantino/Rodriquez collaboration then go see this film.

Then Saturday I had a party/dinner at Dave & Buster's Times Square. I was a little worried because alot of people were cancelling on me last minute. Who knew my friends were hardcore Catholic extremist who clearly were following the rules of the Easter season by not going out during this most holy of times. Who knew, but nevertheless the people who I wanted most to come, did arrive and we all had fun playing games, winning tickets and just overall have a great time. I only wanted to be there a few hours, but ended up being there until closing. I had beer and won a bear. I had so much fun that night.

Then Sunday afternoon, my mom and sister came through and my mom cooked dinner actually it was a feast. I had a few more friends over and we all ate and watched Happy Feet. After that I was really exhausted. There was a lot going on that weekend.

So my 30th birthday wasn't as bad as I thought. Nothing bad happened. No mythic Y2K-like disaster happened to me. I just got older. I was still the same person, doing the same things before I turned 30. I didn't learn anything new or suddenly become more wiser than I was. I did make this event memorable and it was good. Now I won't freak out at 35.

So this is what's been going on with me...

2007-03-20T16:13:00.000-04:00

The last few months have been very interesting. So I haven't really blogged anything lately, for the hopes of not sounding like the only broken record because there's hasn't been much going on with me. Well there has been, most of it has been good, most of it has been bad, but there have been things happening. So let's see...

Still haven't found a job yet. This is starting to piss me off, because I apply for things and don't hear back. I call places and I get told to apply online. I've called people to see if they know anyone and nothing has come back as of yet. At this point, I'd even take PowerPoint Specialist. LOL I am keeping a smart head about me and not get depressed, because once again, I tried out for a position at my dream job - MARVEL COMICS - but they're once again not in my immediate future (or the pessimist in me says that they don't want me). It's unsettling because the unemployment insurance is running out in a few months. I am in the system as a freelancer at this one job placement place, but nothing has come up yet. I am supposed to check in every weeks and I haven't landed anything yet, which is a complete bummer considering that I can do anything, but yet they don't have anything that fits me.

Have to get a new place. Yeah, so if you haven't heard by now, Travis and I have to be out of the apartment by the end of May. My landlord's parents are moving back up from PR and her father is sadly dying of cancer and they want to be close to her. Which I understand, but however, this puts Travis and I in this unfortunate situation of trying to find a place to live. This was so unexpected and now I know the feeling of being unprepared. So we're on the apartment hunt now.

Been writing and not drawing. In an effort to figure out what direction I want to go in creatively, I am taking my hand and doing more creative writing and absolutely needing to draw more. Really, I don't do this because I spend most of my time playing my Xbox 360 and Gears of War. It's the only thing I can do without feeling like I'm a schmuck for everything else.

And I turn 30 in a few weeks. God help me! =)

Movie Review: 300

2007-03-18T01:07:00.000-04:00

First and foremost after watching 300, I felt fat. Huge. Enormous. Not for nothing, the trailer showed mostly the action and not half of the flesh that I saw in this movie. I so wanted to go back to the gym afterwards, that I felt like two-fingering my throat to bring up the popcorn I just gorged on while watching this film. Now that I have that out the way - here's the review.

If you're not familiar with Frank Miller, especially in recent years, you should be. He's not only written some of the best graphic novels in the last decade or so, but he had a few movies you might have heard of from the 90's called Robocop. Yup the badass android cop from the the future was a bi-product of Frank Miller's genius, but his vision was skewed by the Hollywood machine (as always), so they fucked it up from what Robocop was in his comic series. Which is apparently the case in recent years as most comic books are turned into movies and alot of the source material is ignored. The panels of graphic novels, or comic books, are a lot like the story-board art filmmakers devise to map out a sequence before they film it. You'd think they'd stick with this. Nope. So Frank Miller has refused to let this happen with his books and it started with 2004's Sin City. Sin City was an awesome book and even more awesome movie. It kept the tone and style of the books onto the big screen, because he was executive producer. And he's continued this with 300.

His inspiration came in the form of the 1962 movie The 300 Spartans, and as I understand it "changed him creatively", so he set out to make one of his own. 300 was born, which was a decade ago. At it's core, 300 loosely examines the battle of Thermopylae, a famous last stand that pitted 300 Spartans against the might of the Persian Empire at a strategic pass in 480 B.C, with a little comic book fantasy thrown in for a good measure. 300 isn't as historically accurate as you might think it is, but you'll get the jist of it because if you're familiar with the works of Frank Miller, you'll know that he's a graphic artist/writer who's written and drawn award winning and memorable Batman and Daredevil stories over the years. He's the guy you look to if you want to write a character driven piece. With that said, 300 ain't character driven at all. And that's not necessarily a bad thing for this attempt. It's a popcorn movie not an attempt to enlighten our Grecian history books.

The man who helmed 2004’s “Dawn of the Dead,” Director Zack Snyder brings a very lavish and audacious visual styling to this film. The cinematography is absolutely amazing. Graininess and sepia tones abound bathed the environments in colors not often used on film in this amount. If you thought the movie at first glance was all computer generated, you'd wouldn't be too far from the truth. It does, but it's the background since all of the action was done on blue or green screens. The director makes a conscious effort to replicate Frank Miller’s visceral and visual aesthetic on film, in the same manner of director Rodriguez’s “Sin City,” and the results are beautiful to behold.The film follows pretty much follows that of the graphic novel’s art panels, which makes for some really visually arresting sequences. It was like watching Greek statues come to life and doing battle Japanese anime-style with of blood splattering in slow motion every which way as heads roll and limbs fly.

I really, really wanted to love this film and I did. It was a good time at the movies, but the movie isn’t exactly perfect. The fault here lies in how antagonists play in the movie, the one thing a graphic novel does is give a reader time to flesh this particular feature out, film doesn't. Unless you're the Lord of the Rings franchise and can pull characterization through three movies, but the film lacks a certain depth that can come through quality scripting and fully developed characters. Actor Gerard Butler’s King Leonidas is easily the most interesting and compelling character of the picture. Butler has a good presence and channels a lot of the loss and hunger for glory you find in Russell Crowe’s “Maximus” character. Instead of being imposing or menacing, the villainous Persian Emperor Xerxes is comical and annoying. And if you're a nerd like me, you're gonna see some heavy Jay Davidson (the hermy from the Crying Game) channeling going on as Xerxes reminds me of Ra from the Stargate movie. He acts and speaks just like him. However, you never get the feeling of how bad this guy is. His army does all the fighting. He just walks around with a lot of jewlery on and gives you about the same credibility as any game boss did in a Super Mario game. And he ain't the only one. Xerxes follows an assortment of other one-dimensional Persians who never provide an interesting match for our heroes to fight. Xerxes’ best fighters are called “The Immortals,” but they come on like wave after wave of soulless video game cliches. In reality, the Persian army was quite human, but the movie plays them off as if they were supernatural zombie mutant ninjas. LOL. Hell I didn't think ninjas were in Persia at that time, but I accepted it here because I knew what this was. That's Frank Miller's spin on them, so any who the Spartans faught weren't historically accurate.

Like I said, he's a comic book writer, he wasn't doing this to be correct. Still, when you get your audience hissing and rooting during a nicely staged slow-motion battle sequence, the film is doing its job. Just for the oohs and ahhhs alone it's worth it for me.

Okay so after watching 300 you might have seen this stuff before and okay so it's not Academy Award Best Pictures Glory, Braveheart and Gladiator, 300 doesn’t achieve the same cinematic heights as those battle-hardened films, but it’s still a fun movie. Do yourself a favor and check it out. It's an epic and awesome experience. Even if you're not into ripped dudes in leather underwear and capes (which by the way was hot from my homo-movie critic point of view), go for the pure enjoyment of it. I know I am seeing it again.

Twas the night before Comic Con

2007-02-23T20:51:00.000-05:00

And I am nervous as fuck.

You see, I read a few weeks ago on one of my favorite web sites that Marvel is going to be reviewing porfolios for possible work in their Creative Services Department, which is one of my dream jobs. So I've been working hard (or hardly working on it depending on who you talk to) for about a week now. Yeah I know, I should have spent more time working on the portfolio before a few days before the Comic Con, but I am a procastinator at times.

Anyway, I am really, really, really nervous, but I know this kinda of nervous because I experienced it during the summer when I went to the other convention Wizard World Philly for the Wildstorm Art Contest. So the same butterflies are in my stomach. They've subsided for now, since I have eaten and I am calmer now.

So now, on the eve of the Comic Con, actually, the Comic Con started tonight, but I am for the rest of the weekend - I am putting together what I think is the best of my work. Well some of it. I had to create most of it, because my portfolio wasn't versatile enough. I had nothing, but bank related stuff and I was stuck in a rut on what I should have in there. So I created a few Marvel oriented pieces and few generational ads as well as some of my best stuff from the bank (i.e. newsletters, postcards, brochures, statement inserts, etc.)

In a few mintues I am going to put my portfolio together and start reviewing talking points and getting my resume together and such. I am taking this a little bit easier now, since I am treating this like a job interview and not the unicorn job I've been searching a few years for. This is another huge moment for me. I need a job badly and I would really love this one. So please, wish me luck.

...And I Still Don't Like Seafood

2007-02-10T23:13:00.000-05:00

It's a little known fact that I am not a lover or a fan of seafood. I can eat a few things, but not much and sadly enough I only eat shrimp, crab, and clam, but only if they're fried. (Told you - sad.) Which is always the oddest discussion in my family, because when you're family is from the south, you tend to eat fish. I don't. My mom stays thinking I'm adopted. The rest of my family thinks it's wierd. Even my little old, grandmom. I always tell myself that I would try it, but I can't bring myself to it. When I tell people I eat sushi, I mean I really only get California Rolls, which is not even close to what sushi is or could be. I don't like seafood, but I try to like it. So tonight I told myself that I would try some.

So as my VB trip rolls along, everyone decided to go to dinner at this place called Captain George's Seafood Buffet Palace. I've been to this place once and it was against my will. This time went pretty much the same way, given that everyone wants to eat there, but me. I get the usual reassurance that "they have meat there". I am sure I'd have a dollar right now everytime I heard that statement, but I digress.

We all pile up in the mini-van and my sister's car and head to Captain George's. Needless to say when we get there, the parking lot is full because clearly this is a hot spot in the VB. We get our table and head over to the buffet lines. I get my grandmother's stuff first, because you know me, I love her and since she is elderly and all. (yeah I know - I'm a sweetheart.) When she's done, I get my plate, which consisted of: fried shrimp, potatoe salad, rice, bread and that was about it. I didn't see anything else I really wanted. I wanted to try the salmon, which my doctor suggested that I start eating, but the smell got to me and I left it alone. There was just fishy food everywhere. Even a mess of crawdads. For you none hicks they're also known as cray fish. Those fuckin' hicks and their crawdads. I wouldn't even think of eating. I remember seeing them in the gutters when I lived in California all those years ago and yet these muthafuckas got them served with butter and lemon juice. The savages. So right then, I said fuck the seafood and headed back to my table. But never mind me though, it's really the ravenous people who wait on line for the crab sticks. It's hysterical to me to see grown folks and young ones shuck, pull and suck meat out of crab sticks. Basically they scale down to primal nature and grunt and pull at crab parts "just to get to the meaty parts". Yick! Needless to say, about my mom, aunt, michon, and aja came back to the table with a stacked plate. The savages. They're all cave hicks.

So after I ate my fill of nothing and found the prime rib and BBQ ribs, I got what I think is bread pudding, which sucked a big one, but I ate, because my mom payed for my meal and I wanted to be gracious and equally considerate being that she paid for it. After all of this, I still ended up not liking seafood. Oh well. I think I'll be okay.

The Dukes of Pocomoke City

2007-02-10T06:10:00.000-05:00

I am on one of my road trips again. My family and I decided to head down to Virginia Beach this weekend to visit my grandparents, whom we didn't get to see on Christmas this year. So my aunt drives down to grab my cousin Michon and her kids, while my mom, my sister and I pack up the my sister's car and we all high tail it down to the VB.

Here's where it gets funny.

One the way, we are going through Delaware, where my aunt, who's driving ahead of us, runs over what looked to us as like a racoon, but upon further discussion and based on the blurry color we saw, it was a fox (possibly). It flew up in the air too fast for us to tell. Either way, it was hysterical, because we kept calling my aunt a "coon killer".

About an hour later, we are driving through Pocomoke City. For those of you who don't know what this is, it's an area in Maryland. I hate driving through Pocomoke City only because there's a stretch of road that goes on for miles that has no lights down the road. It's really just a strip of trees on either side of the road and the lights from whatever cars happen to be on the road with you, which if you're driving late - isn't many. However, since there aren't any cars on the road at this time, my aunt, who is still driving in front of us is doing at least 65-70 mph on the road. I am about 2 car lengths away from her, when suddenly from across the left of us, two state troopers flash their lights and wave us down. I knew why they did. We were doing at least 72 in a 55 mph lane. LOL. What I really wanted to do was fly down the road and start a big chase scene like one from the Dukes of Hazard. Just call me Dre Duke. Unfortuntately, I don't think I would get away to make Boss Hog look like a fool by the end of the episode. At this point, we're all pretty scared shitless, because we didn't want to get a ticket, but my aunt, who thought of this ingenious story to get us off the hook. It apparently worked and we got off with a warning and no ticket. After that we're taking it slower down the road, which take us longer to get there, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do right? I still wish I could have gotten all 2 Gay 2 Furious on those Pocomoke jokes, but I didn't. I didn't want to get my sister in trouble. But like I said, before I hate driving through Pocomoke City.

Needless to say, about 30 minutes after that, a racoon, shoots from the left side of the car, hurdles itself towards the driver's side tire and we bounce in the air due to the impact of the beast rolling under the car. My mother and I are screaming like little women, because we just became what we joked about - we became "coon killers". The beast clearly had a death wish, because most animals run straight across a road to get to the other side, this one ran straight for us. It was astonishing, somehow funny, but insane nonetheless.

We finally arrive to surprise my grandparents at about 2:30am. We set around for a few, discuss, laugh, play with the twins, make a WAWA run and finally we all settle down at about 5:00am. It just hit six and I am in the dinning room, typing this blog, because if I didn't, I don't think I would be able to in the morning. I should be bloody tired right now, but after 2 cups of coffee and a soda. I am pretty wired. I should go to sleep, because I know that when I am home, I can sleep for 7-8 hours. Here I wont be able to. I'll be lucky, if I can't 4 in.

Movie Review: Because I Said So

2007-02-04T19:07:00.000-05:00

As it goes, there are good date movies and then there are bad ones. Most of the time, they're all just "okay and sincere". Some of them really don't resonate with any of us. Just a reason to go to the movies and feel good with our girlfriends/boyfriends, mothers, sisters or whoever goes with us. In the last decade or so, even romantic comedies have become horribly formulaic. You know what I mean, we clearly get a movie set-up and plot that can be seen from frames away, even before the first site gag is thrown. Then you have your few stand out entries, who do their best to stand out from the muck. Unfortunately, Because I Said So... didn't cut it.

I personally blame the commercials. They completely mislead you nowadays. When you watch Because I Said So, you soon began to realize that the commercial is not this movie. In fact, the commercials were better. Honestly, this movie was tacky and terminally bland.

Here's the rundown, longtime single mother Daphne (Diane Keaton) is determined to marry off her three daughters, hoping they will avoid her own loneliness. The opening scenes show her ostensible success with Maggie (Lauren Graham) and Mae (Piper Perabo), as they appear with cakes, white dresses, and grooms. But she’s not done yet. Her youngest girl, poor Milly (Mandy Moore), can’t find the right guy. So mom is fixated on making that happen.

Thus begins the set up of one basic joke - the interfering mother and then it runs right into the ground. There was so much wrong with this movie, I can't even begin to note them all. One thing I hated was the poor characterization. The whole movie is designed around Diane Keaton's character's meddling as excessive and of course is the set up for a big showdown towards the end. Blah! Most of the other characters are all pretty much cookie cut outs of souless supporting stars. I can't even go into the whole dynamically wrong attitude this movie took, but I do have to say - I love Diane Keaton. I loved The Family Stone, but she's beginning to play the same person in every movie. This is even going back to As Good As It Gets. We get the slightly naive, older woman, who's clumsy and full of life and vibrancy, who has this full rich life, but is dealing with an issue she hasn't had to in quite some time. That's really Diane Keaton, not the characters she's playing. It's heartbreaking to see her Ann Taylor Loft-like performances right down to the huge belts, horrendous pleated skirts and enormous accessories that only Keaton can pull off.

Because I Said So includes so many clichés that it’s hard to keep count. In lieu of plot, it’s cluttered with bad scenes after another. Some are funny, which would include a wacky driving scene, stupid dog reaction shots (which even at one point was too much) and falling-splat-with-cakes scenes. Frankly, this movie is so self-defeating, I can't even write anymore. It's trife people. Go rent Failure To Launch or my all time favorite The Sweetest Thing. Those would satisfy you more than this one.

Dirty Harry

2007-01-31T23:11:00.000-05:00

Not since Elizabeth Berkely's topless dance in the movie Showgirls, have I seen such disapproval of a child's star first adult role. Daniel Radcliffe a.k.a. Harry Potter has decided to go nude in a new play he's going to be starring in next month in London. Apparently, parents and some Harry Potter fans and even reportedly JK Rowlings herself is furious at this. He's "smearing and ruining the image of Harry Potter for children", one reporter asked a fan. "He's looked at as a role model. He's too young to be doing something like this." I am sorry, when did Harry Potter become a role model for young kids???

I guess he would be for some, but come on - you gotta be kidding me. Yes, it may be a bad choice for him to want to do a play about a boy channeling his sexuality to his love for horses, because he is 17 and that's such an odd role to play. Maybe he wants to break his Harry Potter image sooner than we thought, but seriously Harry Potter is fictional character emersed in a world of magic and in no way should be touted as a role model for children. He's no Mark Twain people. I mean really - get over yourself people.

This image surfaced today and it's had people all in a tizzy, because yes Daniel Radcliffe has pubes and chest hair and Harry Potter does not. They don't want their image tarnished of someone they clearly see as a role model to little children everywhere. So I can't wait until lovely Hermoine Granger a.k.a. Emma Watson does her first Maxim cover and see what people say then. She's got boobs right now and ain't no one saying anything. She's blossoming. Blah, blah, blah. Right now it seems, that this image is sparking serious controversy and also ticket sales are going through the roof. Expect the dirty man and woman brigade to be buying those tickets fast now.

On the other hand, I can understand what everyone's concern is. In an age where we are surrounded by sexual images everywhere, it’ s probably no surprise that there’s this kind of response to when even someone like Harry Potter strips. I suppose we grow up faster nowadays. But he’s barely a year beyond the age of consent, so just over a year ago such images would have had the child porn police knocking at the door. Alas, that's not the case. Right now everyone's concerned that Harry Potter is ruining is innocent image. It's no different than what the cast of perhaps Saved By The Bell or any other child star did when they want to undo what their previous roles did their image. Actually it is different, at least he could have waited until the movies were done before we saw the true power of Harry Potter's wand.

Him & I

2007-01-31T15:56:00.000-05:00

What can I say? I've got it bad.
No, not that you fool.
I've fallen for a guy and I don't know where it came from.

Ever since I met him, we've been experiencing something that I didn't think was going to be possible for me again. I actually care for some again to be in my life romantically and it feels great. Ricky and I share something, something I haven't felt in a long time. It's fun, exciting and scary all at the same time. And for once, I've fallen for someone who feels the same for me. Yes, I've had my fair share of crushes and inopportune dating scenarios, but this one - this one right here is one I am into. All the way.

Getting to know someone again, like this, after a long time of not wanting to be around romance or wanting to have a boyfriend can be scary just as easy. I wish that this will grow into something stupendous and loving. We've been going out for only a short while (3 months), but it feels longer and it feels natural. We see each other alot during the week. And I can't get enough of him. He's sweet, funny, sarcastic, smart, adorable and romantic. Yeah we bicker, but it's a fun bicker. It's how we communitcate at times. Other times, we just chill and hang out and laugh. Yeah we may not be into the same things. His interest are complete opposite of mine. That sometimes can be difficult when I geek out, but I don't care.

We think about the future. Our lives together. What we'd like to accomplish. Our dreams and goals. All without pushing too hard and too fast. We give each other our space (or at least we're learning too now.) I've taken Gay Speed Dating 101 and known people in my life who's taken it as well. I am learning from my mistakes. I feel that's a good thing. Slow and steady wins the race. Patience is a virtue. Do or do not. There is no try. (Thanks Yoda!)

As all couples do, we have our moments of tough times, but it hasn't been that serious. Mostly misunderstandings, because we're still "new" to this. New to us. Getting to know each other can be fun and difficult, because as human, personalities tend to be different. Good meshing isn't always the result. However, we overcome and we beat the odds. That's why I like him. We talk and communicate. He's vested in me feelings he wants to explore and feelings he's never had, but always wanted. He wants this to be the best relationship ever for him and so do I.

So yeah, I got it bad. I've fallen for him big time.

Him & I. We're good and we can only get better.

Here's to you Ricky.

Lunch with Friends & A Job Opportunity

2007-01-23T17:34:00.000-05:00

Today, I had lunch with a few friends in the city. It was good, because I haven't seen them in a while and at least not in the same room for an even longer period of time. We had dinner at this cute little Cuban restuarant off 17th Street and Union Square. We all caught up to the comings and goings of all three of us and I even acknowledge that just moments before I had a harrowing experience at the ATM, whereas because I was so engrossed in my very, tiny account balance, that when I walked away, I had forgotten my card in the slot and I also didn't hear the death chimes of my card being sucked into the machine. Luckily for me, I was able to go upstairs and ask one of the bank employees to get it for me. But yeah, lunch was cute and I had a good time seeing them and laughing. Hopefully we can do it again soon.

Other than that, I got a call from a woman I used to work with at Independence. She's working as a consultant and one of her clients is an agency called Huge, Inc. They're based out of Brooklyn. She told me there were some job openings and that they were looking to invigorate their growing company with fresh people. So she told them about me. I applied for one of their Art Directors positions, which sounded so perfect for me. It's hard to find a job, when you're job description and needs are so specific. I haven't had many leads and all I keep finding are graphic design positions or presentation jobs at other finanical institutions. Not really where I want to be anymore. I want to be in middle management now. So wish me luck with this one.

Hating the NY Department of Labor

2007-01-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Unemployed people + unintelligence + the NY Department of Labor = Hell

For about 3 weeks (during the holidays) I noticed that I wasn't getting unemployment benefits, because I am one of those non-working New Yorkers, sitting at home watching soap operas and Maury, collecting my rightful money. Anyways, I thought that maybe my benefits were late because of the holidays, but it wasn't. After 2 days of trying to reach the department of labors' evil tele-service line, I finally got through to Zinda, my customer service rep. She informed me that the reason my benefits had been withheld was due to my no show status at the career counseling sessions they set up. Since I didn't report, I gets no money. After realizing that it was completly my fault because I didn't read a piece of mail they sent me, I was told I had to go to the Downtown Brooklyn office of the Department of Labor and straightened this all out.

So I headed down there this morning to dismay, because it was very dismal outside due to the rain, but I endured. I get to the offices and very quickly explained my situation and was very quickly told to report to the 3rd floor. Obviously, I am not the only one to have done this. On the 3rd floor, I wait for less than 10 minutes for my name to be called. After I hear it, I shuffle into the room with the others who have reported to the 3rd floor and was told to take a seat and fill out the forms in front of us. Looking around the room, I see a myriad of people, and ages, not so much as color, because it seems that Caucasians and Asians are abundantly employed.

Now here's where it gets interesting, we were told after we fill out the forms, which was basically a skill assesment and work history form, to get up on the line in the room, so that the staff worker can review it with us. Most of the people in the room had no idea what to do, which is scary. As I am waiting on the line, the staff worker is constantly asking the same question - "how long did you work at this job?" Clearly, he was speaking Greek to these people because they couldn't say it. "It's simple question, how long were you employed with this company?" At least 10 people out of the 15 in there didn't fill in this line on the sheet and to get this answer from them was akin to pulling teeth without novacaine. They have no idea how to fill out forms and it's very telling to how these people may have lost their jobs, but I didn't want to judge, because they all could have lost their job like I did.

So after that craziness, I was subjected to a 15 minute Powerpoint about the wonderful and bountifulness that is the NY Department of Labor. I was completely mortified. I felt my IQ drop at this drivel I was expected to watch on the screen. I was in hell, because I had to sit through the history of the Department of Labor, while Mr. Weinstock read the words on the screen, like he just had mouth surgery and it was impeding his speech. Then what shocked me was people had actual questions, but yet again, I didn't feel bad because most people in the room was unemployed for the first time in almost 10 years. After it was over, I put my coat on and walked out in amazement that I wasted an hour of my life down here. I got my money back, but I want that hour just as much.

Thanksgiving 2006

2006-11-28T00:43:00.000-05:00

So I took my annual trip to Virginia Beach for Thanksgiving to see my grandparents. Getting out of NYC was insane, as we left around 3 something and it took forever to get out of Staten Island, that we made it to NJ around 5. Which didn't bode well, since we had a seven hour trip ahead of us. Luckily, I was the one driving first and I wanted to get us there as quick as possible. So I was doing pretty much between 65 and 80 mph all the way there. And actually was proud of myself that I did the entire trip in six hours. I was over the rain though which made the trip horrible in certain parts of the road trip. However we get to Virginia at a decent time. We settle in and get to sleep around 1AM. The clocks are set, my mom has to get up early to help my grandmother cook and I have to get up to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as I've done since I was a kid.

So I got up at a little bit before 9. Got a cup of coffee, sat in the kitchen. Talked to my grandmother and watched the parade and ate breakfast. Dinner came late around 5:30. We sat down for a huge dinner, which I had seconds of and completely pass out for 2 hours after consuming. It was that serious. I missed my grandmother's cooking and how it sits with me and I passed out with a smile on my face. I was sated. I woke up like around 9 something, because my phone was going off. I had text messages of well wishes and a few missed calls. I returned them all and sat down and watched tv with the family and discussed Black Friday plans. Then we all go to sleep with a game plan to takle one of the craziests shopping days of the year.

Black Friday: Our first stop was Toys 'R Us, which was a mad house. I got a few new ornaments for my tree and saw this ill new Star Wars TIE Fighter, which I was feining for, but decided not to get it because I have no room in my apartment for it. We then head to this store called Commonwealth, which is a really popular boutique store apparently and in limited spots. They've got exclusive pieces, limited edition sneakers and one of the few places you can by BBC (Billionaire Boys Club) clothes. The clothes were cool, but I was very upset with Pharrell. I love his music and I loved his clothes, but they were ridiculously over-priced. Like $360 for a hoodie, $125 for a polo shirt, and $92 for a t-shirt. I was outraged because I wanted to get a few BBC pieces, but not anymore. I can't support that. I don't know what skateboarders he hangs out with, but they must be making 6 figures. We leave and head to the mall. We get up and go to the mall here in The VB. It was not as crowded as I thought, because we got there kinda late in the afternoon after I guess many people have completed their shopping. So we walked around. We checked out a few stores and I eyed some things that I wanted and informed my mom about them. I picked up a few things for other people and then headed to Abercrombie and Fitch. My sister and I were having fun in the store and I was trying on some jeans and apparently I was a hit in the store, because all the sales associates were trying to help me. My mom believed that some of them were attracted to me. I didn't see any of that. We float around the mall a few more times and we eventually leave. We head out to the 24 hour Wal-Mart next, which is a southern staple and hang out spot for the young kids of the VB. That was fun, because I got a few more things that I wanted and we eventually headed back home.

Saturday came and we headed back to the mall to go take pictures with Santa. My sister apparently realised that she had never taken a picture with Santa while she was growing up. So me, her and my little cousin took a picture with Santa. They came out cute. Take a look!

We were supposed to go to the movies, but we all couldn't decide on a movie, so we headed to a Blockbuster to rent a few movies, made popcorn and cookies and just chilled tonight.

The next day we packed up in the morning and headed back to NYC without too much of an issue. I can only imagine what Christmas is going to look like.

Excuse me my brotha....

2006-11-08T01:20:00.000-05:00

So when I was trying to get my picture blown up for the Light & Love event at Kinkos, I went to get a snack before I met up with Travis. On my way to meet him, this guy approaches me. Here's how the conversation went:

Guy: "Yo my brotha, I mean no disrespect...I need to take this drug test, but I smoke weed. So I was wondering, if I paid you $5 dollars, would part with some of your urine?"

Me: "Ummmm.....excuse me?!"

Guy: "Yo I know this sounds mad crazy, but I need this job. Wendy's is hiring right now, but they want me to take this drug test."

Me: "Ummmm...excuse me?!"

Guy: "C'mon, I know you did fucked up things in your life. Think of this as giving back to your community. To your fellow brotha."

Me: "I am sorry did you say you wanted my urine? And you are willing to pay me for it?!"

Guy: "Yeah. I know. I know this sounds insane, but we can make this really quick. All you got to do is pee in this..."

Me: "Is that an empty Visine bottle?!"

Guy: "Yeah. All you got to do is go into one of those bathrooms in this bookstore and fill it up for me. No crazy stuff or anything like that. C'mon do me that favor bruh."

Me: "Okay. No. I think I need to be on my way and you need to really consider your options. Wendy's is not that serious. Good luck, but I can't help you. Bruh."

And what's the lesson that we've learned here...if anyone asks for your urine. Run. Don't talk about it. Just run. Screaming if need be to alert others.

Light & Love

2006-11-08T01:00:00.000-05:00

Tonight I went to an event called Light & Love. It was a charity event to raise funds for the American Breast Cancer Society. The event was purely about the talented people that make up this city in the form of poety, prose and music. I was invited to this event a week ago, when I accompanied to Travis to an introductory night to Real Momentum. Real Momentum is an adult education class. It's really all I know of it. I know that it's designed to help you be the best person you can be through workshops and interactive learning with other people. From what I hear it's a tremendous accomplishment when you attend the workshops. Anyway....I was invited by Stephen, one of the guys who recently took the workshop with Travis. Through the introduction night, pretty much everyone found out that I am artist. Stephen approached me afterwards and asked if I would do him a favor and do an artist rendition of Light & Love. I told him it might be difficult given that I was only going to get a week to do this and plus he had to see it to see if he liked what I would do. He turned to me and told me that he didn't have to see it, "I trust you.", he said. And with that, I took the challenge and this is what I came up with.

This is my rendition of Light & Love and it was greatly received tonight. I was pleased with the way it came out, because it's totally different than what I normally do (which is comic book art). So this was a departure for me. As scared as I was to do it, I came up with the concept pretty quickly, but when it came time to color it, I wanted to do something different. So I used some filters in Photoshop to give it that painted look.

When everyone saw it tonight, they had asked if I painted it. Of course I told them I didn't, but I wanted it to appear that way. And plus the matte paper I printed it on helped alot. Other than that, I was really proud I did this and have been thinking about doing more like it.

The Xbox 360

2006-11-06T02:05:00.000-05:00

So today was one of the best days of my life, because I finally got my Xbox 360. I love this machine so much! It's a totally different video game console than I have ever owned. It's like a multi-media center that accesses everything in my life. I also got the highly anticipated game, Gears of War, which is one of the best games of 2006. This is game is so fuckin' hot! This was a crazy ass purchase, because I haven't spent this much money on something like this in a long time, but I love it. I love it so much. I got a few more games with it, Burnout: Revenge, Final Fantasy 11 Online, and I got this ill-assed Gears of War faceplate for the system too.

Let the nerdcore-ness begin!

Movie Review: Saw III

2006-10-28T03:46:00.000-04:00

Ah. October. When you think of October a few things spring to mind: Fall's coming, so is The Great Pumpkin and it's going to be Halloween soon, so that must mean a new Saw. For the third year in a row, Saw has seen a Halloween release date. The third installment in this horror franchise has come out fast and furiously a year later, and it's probably the best horror movie I've seen in theaters all year. Well perhaps because I didn't get a chance to see The Decent. I digress. On to the review....

So right about now I know what you're saying, you still don't know how they did this after you saw Jigsaw die in part 2, well apparently he didn't. Just passed out. So Saw 3 opens with the serial killer, Jigsaw, and his protégé, Amanda, are continuing their quest to teach ungrateful people to appreciate their lives by putting them though seriously fucked up situations. However, Jigsaw’s brain tumor has taken a turn for the worse, giving him only days left to live, or even less. Amanda kidnaps a surgeon and attaches a deadly collar to her neck. The surgeon’s game is simple: keep Jigsaw alive until the end of one of his latest tests which is going on simultaneously. If she can accomplish this, she will leave with her life. Meanwhile, a man whose life was ruined after the death of his son is put through a series of challenges, each relating to his own personal desires for vengeance. However, nothing is ever quite as it seems with Jigsaw.

However, be warned, this movie is story heavy. Not like the other installments. This movie is completely about John and Amanda's relationship. It's equipped with retconned flashbacks from the very first movie, tying everything together to be a very cohesive movie franchise. You get your moments of core, but they're very fast and flighty even. Most of the time, the writers spend distinguishing how different Amanda's style is compared to John's. She's more sadastic and doesn't give you a way out, which is odd considering if he didn't, she wouldn't be alive to continue his work. Amanda's got her work cut out for her and without the police chasing her, because she clearly did away with the only cops working the Jigsaw case, there's no one left in her way. No one except John. Like I said, this movie focuses on those two characters alot. It was like a therapy session between a psycho-fuck father and daughter team.

Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of the Saw films. The whole “sadistic torture with a life lesson” concept is different and somewhat refreshing to the genre, gives a horror movie some heart, if that can be accomplished. It's also very reminiscent of the days when Paramount would release a new Friday the 13th film every year, and other studios with slasher franchises would follow suit. Thankfully, the Saw franchsie has remained consistently good for three movies straight, like Scream did when it was released. So a Halloween without a Saw now would be awful.

What I really like about these movies is that these films all flow together beautifully. I've said this before, but this installment shed more light on the background of the first and second films. A good portion of the film is spent focusing on Amanda’s history and how she came to consider Jigsaw her mentor and backstory presented in flashbacks from previous installments, which is a welcomed bit of depth, as it works to clear up any “what the fuck" questions people might have left over from the previous installment. However, this also might push people away from the franchise, because it's too heavy handed with story. Also the side story had too much screen time devoted to the man going through his challenges and the surgeon taking care of Jigsaw is rather unbalanced. At points in the movie, they spend so much time solely on the surgeon’s story you almost forget there’s a guy out there being horrifically tortured. The twist at the end also felt like a bit of a let-down after the shocker from Saw II, or even the one from the first film. It felt a bit too cut and dry, as I was able to predict it after a certain point in the film, where-as the twists from the last two films took me completely off-guard. Not to mention that the worst part of the movie was the trailer for the Hostel rip-off movie, Turistas.

However, the traps in this movie are just as brutal, ingenius and torturous as in any of the prior films. Saw III also lays on the gore much thicker than the other installments, getting away with a lot of nasty effects most R-rated films shy away from. The deaths in this movie are quite ugly, with lots of broken bones and self-inflicted wounds of the worst kind.

Saw III lives up to its expectations and is on par with the previous films. Unfortunatley, it’s probably my least favorite of the series, but by no means is it bad. It’ll still make you cringe and possibly turn your stomach with some of the depraved violence captured on film. Saw III is one to check out if you want to see a decent horror movie.

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning

2006-10-17T20:43:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, there was a very, decent remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which starred Jessica Beil. Of all the remakes that's happened over the years, I honestly liked this one. It was stylish and a completely smarter version for a new generation of horror fans, which is speaking alot for the tripe they're coming up with these days. Now when they introduced a prequel to TCM, of course I said WTF?! And decided that I would be very skeptical of it.

So last friday, a few friends decided to go check it out. I tried to talk them into going to see The Marine, starring WWE Superstar, John Cena, but with all my effort, no one wanted to see it. So I sucked it up and headed to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, with an open mind. You hear me, an open mind.

As prequels go, they try to shed some light on the origin of main characters of a movie franchises. Our lives apparently wasn't complete unless we saw how Anakin turned to the Darkside and became Darth Vader or from what I hear they're going to finally show how Bilbo acquired The One Ring in The Hobbit, the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. So have you ever lied awake at night, tossing and turning, wondering how Leatherface exactly became Leatherface? Yeah, me neither. So why the fuck would anyone else? In this case, someone felt that we needed to know this crucial origin of a horror icon. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning aims to shed a little light on the tormented past and fragile psyche of film's most famous chainsaw-wielding madman. And it really didn't.

We learn that his nickname originates from a facial deformity, and that he mutilated himself and farm animals as a child before moving on to people. The director quickly does away with all this at the very beginning. Oh and the biggest thing we would want to know at the very least is why the chainsaw usage? We don't get an explaination for this. It just so happens to be sitting in the corner, of the slaughter house he was just fired from. He just picks it up and leaves. That's it. That's the big legend. Yes, he uses it later, but by that time the chainsaw has the same significance as baseball bat at a Mets game. It's just there to kill people and not some mythical weapon this crazed fucker seems to connect with a'la Freddy's glove, Jason's penchant for machetes, Pinhead's love of chains or Michael's love for large steak knives. As for the story, it's pretty basic, if not a carbon copy of the original instead of the remake a few years ago. You can still see similarities, which is sort of a mixed blessing. Two Vietnam-bound brothers and their girlfriends head on a road trip across Texas before they ship out. However, a horrific car crash brings Sheriff Hoyt to the scene, and the group is taken to the house of the cannibalistic Hewitt family and their murderous, nephew, Leatherface. Which is a name he was never really given or stated. The result is that TCM: The Beginning resembles a 70's splatter film in almost every aspect, from gore to its completely generic plot, which is a good thing, because tribute films are fun. It also means the film runs short, which is also good because if this movie was any longer than 83 minutes, it would have far overstayed its welcome.

Eventually, all of the good-looking young victims die, one by one, having been tied up and beaten before being sliced apart by Leatherface. Jordanna Brewster, as the heroine with the best shot at escaping, looks pretty in her hip-huggers and halter top, even when she's covered in blood, but she's just not feisty enough. She tries to be, but you don't buy it. There's nothing there -- and you want a little extra sass in your horror movie babes, right? Then again, what happens to her and her friends is irrelevant, since the killers are the focus here, and we know they're going to survive anyway. It's a prequel, duh. We kinda loose that feeling through the flick. And so there's no suspense, no fear, just an endless stream of blood and the roar of the chainsaw ringing in your ears and the eventuality that no one is going to survive this, because the Hewitt family didn't get caught until 1973.

What I did find out that it's easy for your mind to wander while watching the film, because alot of it is redunant. So any hope of originality is pretty much shot to hell. Don't expect something fresh or even scary. In fact, this film wasn't able to succeed in terrifying the group of six-year-old kids sitting a few rows down from us, which is kind of pathetic. Most of the people in the audience laughed at death scenes or stupid fucked up circumstance beahvior often exhibited in these type of films. People jumped occassionally to the loud tonal-punches of sounds at wierd moments, which I am starting to hate in the horror genre. The music is scarier then the film at times, so they up the gore factor, when there's nothing else.

One thing I did like was that it looked great -- very authentic to the low-budget aesthetic of Tobe Hooper's classic original, with its low, off-kilter camera angles and faded earth tones, as if it were made in 1969, the year it takes place. We get the obligatory chainsaw foot-chase scenes, a torture sequence, several unnecessary jump scenes, and an ending that everyone saw coming from miles away. Also, the characters are quite frankly so whiny and unlikable that I was rooting for Sheriff Hoyt and Leatherface the whole time. So really, this Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't so much about Leatherface as it is about the rest of the Hewitt family, more specifically Uncle Hoyt, who becomes Sheriff Hoyt when he kills a lawman, steals his uniform and assumes his identity. Then again, the real star of the movie is R. Lee Ermey as Uncle Hoyt. Ermey does his abusive drill-sergeant shtick, which made him famous in Full Metal Jacket. And while it's the most compelling aspect of all, a little goes a long way.

As horror movies go, if you're a fan of series check it out, but if you can sit this one out until it's on cable do so.

I wish I went to see The Marine instead.

So far...part 2

2006-10-10T21:28:00.000-04:00

I’ve been out of work for, um - wow nearly 4 weeks now. I can’t believe I’ve been out of work that long and it doesn’t seem like it at all. I have been trying to keep busy though. I look for work daily. I am back at the gym. And life is back to normal. However, being lazy has totally killed my creative drive. There were a few things that I was working on, that I kinda stalled on because of that slight depression one gets when they are not working. I did however land a freelance gig with the bank temporarily. It’s not much, but it does supplement my income.

Other than that, I've been pretty much catching up on the Soaps I haven't watched in years. It took a few hours of researching online to get caught up on storylines and who the people are on each show. I only watch ABC shows, so I am officially a home body now. Then I get dressed and go to the gym afterwards. Then I come home and watch more tv and yet, not really focusing on my creative talents. I've been sitting in front of the computer as well, just searching through endless job listings that aren't really a good fit for me.

I should draw something. I really should.
I should write something. I really should.

I have a lunch meeting with an old co-worker coming up next week, who wants to introduce me to her friend who's a screen writer. Which is a very exciting prospect of what I want to do with my life. So we'll see how that turns out. That makes me want to go write something.

I hate how I am slowly doing things. Is this what happens when you're out of work and get no motivation. I did more when I was working, so why is it different now that I am not and actually have more time to dedicate to it?

I'll figure it out.

So far...

2006-10-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

So if you noticed, I didn’t finish my countdown to my last moments at my job. Well there’s a reason. A lot has happened and I just haven’t had the time to write what’s been going on with me. To make it short, that Friday wasn’t as bad as I thought. It wasn’t as emotional as I thought it would be. There are a lot of people there that I am close to, but in hindsight, many of us know that we’ll keep in touch even though I am not there anymore. Then there are others who I will never see again. I was sad, but not too sad.

So what’s happened since then, well for starters, I was sick for like a week. In fact a few of my friends were going through the same sickness so that took a few days to get back from that, but it also put a damper on the job search. I fell into that lazy slump of being when you loose a job and just don’t want to do anything, but just being lazy around the house. So after a few weeks, I finally got back on track and started looking for work.

I’ve posted resumes on the usual websites and searched endlessly everyday for jobs that would fit what I want to do with my life. However, I haven’t been able to find too much. I found a few things, but of course, nothing has happened. That’s the problem with the open market. I need to go back to thinking of how people found jobs before the advent of the internet. I just point, click and send my resumes with the hopes that someone will call me in for an interview. It’s an new age sort of viewing that we just send out resumes electronically and hope like hell that we get a call back, but I am up against a lot of people in this city, but I’ll keep my head up.

Thursday

2006-09-21T22:51:00.000-04:00

Today was - interesting to say the least. I spent the morning trying to get out of the office to the next photoshoot session and it was all the way in Great Neck, out on Long Island. I took a car service and we got a little lost, all the while watching the porn baby boy put on my ipod this morning. Yeah, I am really experiencing the power of the video ipod.

I get to the shoot, a few minutes minutes late because the cab got lost on the way there. This shoot was good as well. Then lunch time came and I had another fantastic lunch at this place called Grimaldis. We sat outside, the weather was beautiful and I had another awesome time. Those guys really made my week. I had a an awesome time helping out on the set and learning about photography and getting to know them as people.

We get to the branch and set up. For the days I had been on the set with them, I had finally met people that I had only spoken to over the phone in the last couple of years, which was great to finally put the a face to the voices, but it was sad, because this was going to be the first and last time I would speak to them at all, since this was the day before my last day of work.

We get set up and I meet more interesting people, mainly the ones who were scheduled to be photographed that day. We all laughed and talked about virturally everything.

After the shoot, was done, it was about 4 o'clock and we all had been kinda tired from moving and lifting the equipment around all day. We packed up the truck and hea back. Dennis and Hermes was heading back to NJ, but they were dropping Mark back in Astoria, where he lives. They wanted to know where they could drop me off, I told them they could drop me off in Astoria as well, since I could take the N train back to where I was going. They drop me off and Mark walks with me around the corner since, he lives in the neighborhood. He thought he was showing me to the train, but since there were large set of tracks and an elevated platform in front me, I think I got the picture. Mark and I had the most to talk about since he was into movies and horror movies, just like me. Also keep in mind that Mark is a 53 year old man, who does make-up for a living, so when he asked me if I wanted to stop by his house - I respectively declined. I hoped on the N train and took my tired ass home.

Wednesday

2006-09-20T22:38:00.000-04:00

Today was another decent day. I cleaned out more of desk and tried to get alot of work done. Since I was out of the office the day before, there was a pile. Plus there were things I had to take care of this week before I leave on friday. There's still some projects I am working that apparently, only I can do before I leave.

At this point, conversion is pretty much complete and there's not much that I am doing there, but helping out as much as I can.
I pack up more and I leave to pick up baby boy at the blockbuster. I get there and I am in a serious movie buying mode right now. I've been getting a lot of old school horor flicks, like Phantasm and the 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead. Then there's also all of the 80s movies that I love that I am getting.

All and all - I am happy.

Tuesday

2006-09-19T22:11:00.000-04:00

Today, I spent the day on the set of the photoshoot for the bank's new fall ad campaign. My first stop was really close at the branch on Court St. and Atlantic Ave. There I met the photographer Dennis, his production assistant Hermes, and the make up artist Mark. I really enjoyed meeting them. We talked alot during the shoot and had a fantastic lunch at the Hill Restaraunt down Court Street. I got to know them all really well. We talked about movies, restaurants, and just life in general. They were really great guys.

Our next stop was at a branch in Bay Ridge for the last two people to shoot. That flew by and we were done pretty quickly. Still during this time, we got to learn more about each other. After that was over, Dennis wanted to know if I was going to help them again on Thursday. I reassured him that I was. He was glad, because he really appreciated my help and that I made it easier for them to film.

After that, they dropped me off back at the office, because tonight was also my good bye dinner. I got back around 5 and we had reservations for 5:30 at Rosa Mexicana in Coloumbus Circle. I had never been here before, but I had heard earlier that day that it was a fantastic place to eat and it sure was. The food was excellent and it was authentic Mexican food. The guacamole was hand made right in front of us and it was the best tasting food I had in a good long while. We all had Pomergranite Margaritas that were awesome! Meki, Kari and Maria and I got hammered and started talking badly about a previous woman who worked with us. That was hysterical. Afterwards, Maria and I walked to the train station and she told me how bad she felt that everything was ending and I told her not to think that way, but look at it as a positive experience that can only get better.

At the end of the night, I started to believe it myself.

Monday

2006-09-18T21:24:00.000-04:00

Today is the first day of my last week of work. I am pretty excited to say the least. Most people would be freaking out at this point, especiall because I don't have a job lined up yet. There were several people that I know who has jobs lined up before they left, but me - I think I am going to take it easy for a few weeks. Work on some projects and yeah do some job searching, but most of it's going to be doing things that make me happy.

Nevertheless, today I threw alot of stuff out in my cubicle. It's never looked so clean. I was really happy with throwing things out. I packed up a few boxes of things I want to keep and will mail it from here and have it sent to my place during next week.

There are some people said to see me go, like Kari, my supervisor and Meki, my other colleague, but all of this is for the best and I looking forward to my future. I've told them I'd love to still work with them as a freelancer, so let's see how that pans out.

However, today is the start my countdown. Tomorrow I do something really fun and that's help coordinate a photoshoot for the new fall campaign. That sounds like a lot of fun, because I've never been to one before.

Movie Review: Crank

2006-09-13T12:44:00.000-04:00

Crank is one of those movies where Hollywood made a pure joy ride of fun for moviegoers. Yeah it was another movie I had to check my brain at the door for, but that’s why I go to the movies. If I want real life or believable things, I’d stay at home and watch the news. Crank was just what I needed.

Now, when I first saw the trailer for it, I immediately dismissed as a derivative of a direct-to-video movie called Drive, which starred Mark Dacosas, Kadeem Hardison and then an virturally, unheard of Brittnay Murphy way back in the late 90s. Drive was about a young man, who the Chinese mafia replaced his heart with an adrenaline engine and they were trying to sell it to the highest bidder, until he decided to run away from them and hook up with Kadeem in a weird, martial arts buddy film. In that movie, he couldn’t slow down and did martial arts to stay alive.
Crank was not too different from that.

Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is a hit man who wakes up one day to find he has been injected with a type of poison that should kill him within an hour. However, thanks to his good friend and doctor, Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakum – yup I said that. Dwight Yoakum) whose also out of town, but keeps up a running conversation with Chev by cellphone - tells him what it is and that the only way to extend his life is to keep his adrenaline pumping. So Chev does everything he knows/can to keep his adrenaline pumping. Driving fast, snorting heroine, getting into fights, drinking tons and tons of Red Bull, caffeine pills and energy boosters. All the while keeping his real job and certain death away from his girlfriend (Amy Smart).

Crank is a very simple movie. Meaning the premise alone does not twist, doesn’t turn in terms of storytelling. It keeps going, reviving itself up every few moments as Chev has to do in the movie to keep him alive. There’s nothing hidden in the plot, nothing we should be looking into as terms of redeeming this man. We know he’s a hitman. That’s it. There is little chance to get to know the character of Chev, because he is constantly in a state of motion and a state of violence. There’s no humanizing him here as we had in The Professional (yes I know - I love for Luc Besson movies!). So yeah, Chev should die and that’s what makes the movie good. It’s downright pure fun. How will he stay alive is the big question. Crank is a big, roller coaster ride of a movie.

Yeah the story may make no sense as to why he initially was poisoned (something about a botched job) and it uses tissue thin characters to tell its story of a gun for hire and his flight to fight death. Chev has this weird gay, informant that somehow plays a role in this movie, but you never got what that was or if it was an important role for Chev in past jobs. As for Chev, he’s a lovable guy. Not the most attractive man, but lovable. You root for him to try and survive this.
Crank has its greatest moments when Chev is trying his best to boost his adrenaline. One particular scene where he realizes one thing that can help keep his adrenaline going is to have sex and he wants to have sex with his girlfriend in the middle of a crowded street in China Town, like right on the ground. She wasn’t into at first, but opened up to it as it being exciting. This scene had balls, because they really had sex bent over a newspaper dispenser. Then there’s the time when he discovers Ephenephrinecan cure him and he takes too much of it and goes on a speeding chase through in a hospital gown, through the hospital and on a motorcycle showing the world his ass and the fact that too much gives Ephenephrine you a hard-on for hours. Yeah they showed that too.

The enjoyment is all in the action, however does wear a little thin as the movie progresses to its final scenes. It was still fun. The jittery camera work was insane, which fit the mood of the movie. Along the way to finding the man who injected him, Chev meets up with his henchmen and manages to subdue them and lop off various body parts. This makes for some bloody scenes, but also keeps Chev's adrenaline pumping.

However, the climax was a little odd and the way it ended didn’t give you a good sense of what exactly happened to Chev. The film’s lack of logic and intelligence, might not still well with everyone, but the male audience will eat this movie up.

Ever since Statham burst on the scene in "The Transporter" people have come to expect the ultimate action packed movie from him. He delivers the action here, but the plot and characterizations are left out in the cold. So most might be a little put off by this movie. Statham is doing his best to be billed as a true action hero of the antihero type, and he will hopefully give the film whatever box office clout it creates. I think a few more movies and he’ll be the next action hero to watch. Statham does have a presence in his movies and adds humor and sarcasm to his character's repertoire of actions. It was a fun movie, like I said. So if you want a pure kick-ass time at the movies. Go see this film!

Thinking Outloud:Necessary Actions

2006-08-29T15:30:00.000-04:00

I’ve always been that “You Know What Would Be Cool” guy. You know the one who has all these great ideas and then never do anything with them. That’s me. Down to the very last bone.

For years, I’ve always been creative, inventive, and talented when it came to putting my imagination to good use. I’ve been doing it since I was kid. Coming up with various scenarios for my toys to engage in. I used to create plots, sub-plots, side-adventures, you name it – I was doing it even though I had no idea what I was doing back then. I was doing it all based on no pre-existing storyline, just existing characters put into new situations. Those were my building blocks. However, I’ve never acted on these simple impulses to create and introduce them on a grander scale than telling what I did to my mom. As a kid, I would say you know what would be really cool ….then go off on something and have fun doing it. Of course, my mom gave me, “That’s nice honey, go back to playing.” statement. So I kept doing it.

It was the same in college. Just in talks with my roommate and other friends (actually just Chris), we used to endlessly theorize imaginary and cool scenarios for a number of characters we were fond of. “You know what would be cool….”. And that’s how it starts. It’s what got me started on developing a story based around a war between vampires and werewolves in the late 90’s. Imagine my utter shock and dismay when the movie Underworld came out a few years ago.

Even with myself, the comic book characters I create, all exist in my very own little, universe. Where all my adventures play out and expand and develop. And I still do the same thing with existing characters throughout the mediums I love. (i.e. comics, novels, movies, etc.) Sometimes the things I think of are fine. These things are the standard life goals, but what about the big ones? What about the ones we don’t seem to fully realize we’re capable of? My sense of failure sometimes comes out when someone else beats me to it. Take the concept of Underworld for instance. Even though my story was a novel, the premise was still the same. Then the movie came out, I was baffeled. Not at the fact that it was better than my story, but the fact that I felt odd because I came up with the idea first. And yet, I slept on doing something about it. That was the first time I felt that I wasn’t doing something right with my talents.

So here’s the kicker kids, with all of this imagination and talent I’ve got oozing out of me, you might be wondering why I haven’t acted on it yet? Who the fuck knows? Maybe I felt I wasn’t ready. I was still in college, I couldn’t think beyond those parameters, but I do know this - just recently, a lot of things got me thinking about where I want my life to go. The directions it seems to be going in and I don’t want to live this life and not have a sense of accomplishment. I don’t want to go through life and only accomplish what we all should accomplish, like getting a degree, getting a good job, being in good health, living in happiness, having a family, etc. I don’t want to be in the corporate rate race for the next 10-15 years of my life. I want to make a name for myself and do the things I think I was destined for. And I think I am finally getting there where I can do it. What brought this about you may ask? Two things: Kevin Smith and just recently Snakes On A Plane.

I realized that I just don’t create characters, I write for them too. I develop storylines and back story. I create drama and circumstance. Kevin Smith is that exact same person. He’s one of my idols and one of the deities I worship. (The other is Joss Whedon.) I love Kevin’s work, whether it’s on a movie screen or in a comic book. He’s a versatile and talented individual. I look up to him in every facet of my work, because I feel I am like him. He loves what he does and he took a chance with his art and talent and took it beyond what he knew was possible. That’s what I want to do. I want to be the black Kevin Smith.

Then there’s Snakes On A Plane. Without having seen this film, the writers got paid a big, truck load of cash for this script. Snakes On A Plane isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s just one of the hundreds of movies that get made and I know I can turn out a better script and a better story than half of them. I did that with Freddy vs. Jason before it was released. I wrote my own version of their meeting and mine worked so much better and it was believable after I saw the movie finally. And I started it with, as always, “You know what would be cool….”

All I know there are screenwriters out there getting paid to do screenplays and making money off of them, good or bad. It’s time for me to stop complaining about them. It’s time for me to take some action; I dream of ideas better than Snakes On A Plane.

I’ve got a few projects I am developing at the current moment and they’re in the idea stages, but many of them have been mapped out. They just need an outlet. I got a screenwriter’s book the other day to help me with formats and scene descriptions. I love comic books, so I am writing something that I plan on submitting to DC Comics when it’s done. I love movies and television so it’s only right that I continue on with those areas as well with some of the ideas I have. Not to mention the drawing aspect of my life, which I’ll tackle with as much zeal and exuberance. I have total faith and confidence in myself now. I plan on putting my god given talents to good use.

You know what would be cool, if I actually did this?

Yes, it damn sure would be.

Weekend Viewing

2006-08-28T11:46:00.000-04:00

This weekend was filled with foreign film watching. Mostly because of the rain, I stayed in the house. Saturday night I watched Banlieue 13 aka District B13. This was a French action film from director Luc Besson (one of my favorites). It showed here in the States back in June, but I missed it, due to my involvement in putting together an art show for a friend of mine. This is the second French action/martial arts movie I’ve seen in my life. The other was Brotherhood of the Wolf and I loved that one. B13 is on par with this, if not higher in terms of just standards. B13 is what the Transporter should have been, which was another Luc Besson favorite of mine. The story is about a part of Paris that’s been cut off from the rest of society in 2010, by a wall erected around it by the government. Of course naturally, inside the wall things are pretty bad; drugs, gangs, poverty, but there's one lone man who takes it upon himself to try to get rid of the drug cartel living inside. The action was top-notch and introduced me to a physical discipline called parkour, which is featured heavily in the film. Parkour is when the person attempts to pass obstacles in the fastest and most direct manner possible, using vaulting, jumping, climbing and there are specific Parkour movements incorporated. It's a fascinating concept. The movie also had a serious hottie in it by the name of David Belle, who by the way is the co-founder of the discipline. He’s got the sickest physique and so many tattoos. And you know how I am sucker for tattooed bad boys. He just shot up the list. He did all his own stunts without the aide of wires. The opening roof chase scene in the first 15 minutes of this movie is legendary and I recommend this movie to everyone with the American DVD hits on September 5th. I’ll get it then myself.

The next movie was Shinobi: Heart Under Blade, which is a Ninjitsu Romance movie from Japan. It’s set during the Japanese Warring States period and is about two clans the Iga and Kouga that have been producing ninjas and warlords for hundreds of years. In an effort to consolidate his reign and get rid of these threats, the Shogun sets up a feud to take out the clans and eliminate the villages. Unfortunately, the two new leaders of the clans happen to be secretly married right before the feud started. So they’re torn between duty and love. So it sets to the stage for craziness. The ninjas of the movie are sick and have some great abilities. Definitely a beautiful movie and on par with Hero or House of Flying Daggers.

Then last, but not least, I watched Bad Education from Pedro Almodovar. It was another great movie, with a fantastic cast and acting. It had everything you wanted in a murder mystery, a la Alfred Hitchcock – sexual abuse, Catholic priest, trannies, drug abuse, sex, and a cute Mexican guy, trying to play pure a Castilian Spaniard. And now thanks to Baby Boy and his abusive Hispanic teachings, I now know the difference between the two. He’s a horrible language coach by the way. Anyway, it was a captivating little ditty about two friends being reunited after not seeing each other since their childhood. When Ignacio gives Enrique a script to read called The Visit, that’s based on their childhood. The movie is thrust into a large tale of seduction, innocence lost and taken and plain discovery and oh and plus a murder mystery down the road. Gael Garcia Bernal is absolutely amazing as Ignacio/Juan/Zahara (yeah he played like 3 people in the movie). This was a movie that took me a long time to see, but I am glad I finally got to see it.

Movie Review: Snakes On A Plane

2006-08-24T15:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, I admit I was one of the people/geeks who fed into the hype that is the phenomenon that is SOAP. Sometimes, I would just shout out “Snakes On A Plane!” as a person with Turret’s Syndrome would. Sometimes I would even answer a question that way. “Yes. Snakes On A Plane.” I loved the idiot concept and sheer lunacy of it all. The title alone is historical. So when I went to go see it, I knew exactly what I was getting into. So I checked my brain at the door and loved every single moment of this movie.

The movie’s plot is pretty basic. Someone witnesses the murder of a federal prosecutor at the hands of gangster Eddie Kim. A FBI agent, Neville Flynn (Samuel Jackson) convinces the guy to testify against Eddie in Los Angeles while under federal protection. On the flight from Hawaii to LA, Eddie Kim's people have unleashed a zoo full of poisonous, pissed off snakes onboard in order to kill the witness, bring down the plane, or both. That’s when the madness starts. Snakes On A Plane is deliciously tacky. It’s a B-movie that thinks it's a B-movie and wears it proudly, like it was an A+. That’s why I loved it. I didn’t take itself seriously. The script was ridiculous, complete with groan-to-laugh inducing and disposable cliched cookie-cutter characters (a kickboxing champion just happens to be on the same flight) tossed about like stale movie house popcorn. Where SOAP does get things right is the inventive, freaky, scary good snake attacks. You gotta love these pheromone-juiced reptiles and the most sexually predatory pests in history (you may never feel safe in an airplane bathroom again). Along with amusing innovations like the "Snake-Vision"— a greenish, reptilian point of view that incites third grade giggles whenever presented, it was a fantastic ride.

The director David R. Ellis (who also did Final Destination 2) invokes outrageous, great fun, concocting even more outlandish deaths and human retaliations than the next. Between the aerial histrionics of turbulence, pilot incapacitation and error, as well as snake assaults that ratchet up the fast and venomous action, Ellis creates a movie through which it is impossible to sit still or even watch this thing quietly.

The acting wasn’t that great though. This wasn’t "Snakes on Broadway", it's Snakes on a Plane. Julianna Marguiles' was okay as the feathered-hair, flight attendant. The chic from the Clueless tv series, Rachel Blanchard, played the dumb strawberry blonde. Keenan Thompson played no one different than he would on SNL. Eddie Kim is the worst gangsta seen in recent memory. Bobby Cannavale got not screen time and he was the hottest thing in the flick. Flex's germphobic rap star, Three Gs, was annoying, but funny when he mentions his hit song "My Booty Go Thump," and only offers a semi-interesting performance - but mostly for the paranoia. Think Hudson from Aliens, but Black and less interesting. Sam, of course, does Sam. Except a little subtler.

I read that Jackson took on this role for the title alone. Which is odd for an actor to do these days, but he jumped at it. Also it was stated that the Internet community also inspired the latest profane entry into the pantheon of Samuel L. Jackson angry one-liners. And as also been widely reported, the reshoots made after production had wrapped were egged on by the fan craze and Jackson himself in order to beef up the movie from a punkass PG-13 to a kickass R. Flying on the strength of just the badassery of Sam Jackson with his take-no-crap remarks, SOAP holds its own. Let's not forget the stars of the show. The Snakes were wicked. And I was amazed at how I knew some breeds of snakes that were there.

SOAP as a film is wholly preposterous (is there any other kind in a movie this aggressively ludicrous?) complete with a convenient non-twist at the end, but it’s that reckless nature that I love so much about it. Yeah it was about as fast-paced as a runaway drink cart, but still it was packed with fun. Check it out if you’ve been wondering what all the fuss is about. If you don’t like snakes, don’t go. If you’re girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t like snakes, leave them home. Hell, go see it while you’re high, either way you’ll still enjoy this film one way or another. Don’t expect academy award winning filmmaking here. Just plain muthafuckin snakes on a muthafuckin plane!

My New Kicks

2006-08-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

So after two years, I finally got the Asics that were in the movie Kill Bill. When they first were released, the Onitsuka Tigers were actually limited edition Asics made from the exact pair that Bruce Lee wore in the movie Game of Death, which Uma Thurman ended up dressing up as in Kill Bill as a tribute to that movie. I looked all over the place for these sneakers, but could never find my size. So I gave up the search.

Until last week. I heard that these particular sneakers were not a re-release of the Onitsuka's, but an actual replica pair of the ones Uma wore in Kill Bill Volume 1. There are some subtle differences, like the shoe laces are black instead of yellow and the Onitsuka Tiger logo is not on the back of the kicks. They are so hot! I so can't wait to break them in as I take on the Crazy 88.

Censorship at its Worst

2006-08-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

I am all for television being safe for kids. There are tons and tons of children friendly programming on television these days. Actually, there’s way more than when I was growing up. The kid’s shows these days are diverse and fun and full of great entertainment. If I learned anything from the cartoons that I was growing up, the more you know, the more you grow and knowing is half the battle. There were lessons involved. That was the 80s for you. Cartoons will have a tendency to reach kids in a postive way. If cartoons were thought of as negative they were not done. So why is one of the greatest cartoons in history, who's been out for decades being edited in 2006?!

This morning I read online that a parent was watching an old Tom and Jerry cartoon on the Boomerang Channel and felt that smoking in the show was inappropriate for her kids. She complained and somehow, one parent’s voice is heard and now Turner Broadcasting is going to really going to go through 1,500 episodes of Tom and Jerry and edit out any instances of smoking. WTF?!

You can read more about it here.

I have no idea what this world is going through. There is so many things going on in the world, but a parent is so concerned that her child will start smoking because she saw a cartoon cat do it?! Is it me or is parents expecting television to teach their children? I guess she’s “doing her part” against the war on terror here in the States. Has the parents not seen the show themselves?

Tom and Jerry have been on television since the 1940’s. Smoking wasn’t necessarily appropriate then either, but yet it was still on because people had a brain and wouldn’t let a cartoon cat dictate their lives. It was entertainment. There was a fucking war going on. People needed a laugh. There’s not much difference between then and now. What gets me is how naïve certain people can be in an effort to shield their child from things. It’s Tom and Jerry for fucks sake!!! They’re the most harmless show on television. I don’t know one person who started smoking because of them. Name anyone you know. Ask a stranger. Go ahead ask that person you know who smokes why they started smoking and guranfuckintee you that it was NOT because of an animated cat. That’s like saying “Oh why you’d become a ninja?” and you reply “Uhhhh…I saw a turtle do it.” Fucktard Parents!!!

Most kids learn how to smoke because their parents did it or they saw some kids at school doing it. If cartoons had this much of an affect on us, could you imagine this soceity if such things were outlawed? It would be chaos in the streets. It wasn't because Tom and Jerry have existed and lasted with very little turbulence and have become a staple in American culture. Then some crazy ass parent had to go and fuck it all up!

It’s outrageous! And from the looks of it, Turner is going to go through the entire Hanna Barbera collection and scan for smoking scenes. Well while we’re at it lets edit out some of the other stuff that might be deemed offensive too. Like:

1). Animal Cruelty. Whenever they were on the farm, Jerry had it out for that little baby duck Quackers, you know who spoke with a squeaky voice. Let’s get rid of all the notions of his cannibalism with cooking him alive on an open flame or his incessant need to kill. I am sure some child will want to start killing animals this way. Or how many times did Jerry fuck up Spike with a 2 by 4? I am sure that will have a negative affect on children and they’ll begin attacking other children with wooden planks.

2). Racism. How many times did we see Tom’s heavy weight, black lady owner Mammy Two-Shoes, with her Aunt Jemima skirt and her stockings rolled up to her knees? Even though this was edited and even voice casting fixed, it’s still there. I am pretty sure some kids will start calling black people coons from this. She’s too stereotypical. We must get rid of that image if we are to preserve America’s outlook on the Black Community.

3). Violence. The show is riddled with attacks from not only wood pieces, but wooden planks with a nail through it, clubs, bats, hammers, anvils, billiards, frying pans, electrocution, fire, a dozen household accidents, and tons of crazy and dangerous antics at a farm. I am sure that a child will see these things in their own house and use them against siblings. Don’t forget the episodes where a BBQ becomes a minefield of danger or the episode where a piano becomes a playground of evil. Let’s get rid of that too.

4). Intolerance. Jerry often played the upscale cat and often ignored his homeless friends. He wouldn’t associate with them. That’s not teaching kids to be equal and to love thy fellow man when the chips are down. This is unnacceptable.

Next thing you’ll know Warner Brothers will get a call and some parent will feel that certain things their cartoons show are inappropriate for their children as well. Like the rampant use of a shot gun from Elmur Fudd, or Bugs Bunny’s cross-dressing behavior, The Coyote's pyromanic tendencies and love for explosives, or the similarities between Osama Bin Laden and Marvin the Martian. Hell I feel that the Bratz cartoon teaches children to be young hoochies and gold diggers, but you don’t see me complaining. Although I should, maybe I'll get some changes made.

Here’s a parenting tip, just tell your fucking kids that smoking is bad and not to do it. Tell them about the health complications. Tell them that it’ll make their breath stink and you’ll get cancer and that their hair will fall out. Don’t blame or censor an animated icon such as Tom and Jerry. It’s a cartoon - they’ll know the difference between animated life and real life unless the truth is too much for you.

The Recoil Crush

2006-08-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

This is an attempt to clear my mind about some things. Talking seems to help and since right now, I am talking purely to myself in the hopes that someone out there is reading and is empathetic about it, then I'm good. However, before I get to my point I want you to know something...I'm insane. Yeah I said it. I'm nuts. I have to be in order to be to feel the way I do. So here goes....clearing my head.

A long time ago, I had a crush on this guy. Hell I've even written about on this blog. And for a long time, I thought....I thought the feelings had left me. I thought I was done with it. I thought I had actually exorcised those feelings from me and moved on, but I guess it didn't leave or worse - it keeps igniting anew at particular times. You know what I am talking, it's that rare, but can happen, third phase of the crush - the recoil crush - and I don't like it.

When I first met him, I really adored him. I got butterflies whenever I saw him. I got stupid whenever I talked to him. I smiled really hard when he said funny things. I'd do things that I don't like doing, like do odd things to make him to get to know/notice me. I got him a birthday gift. I bought him things he really liked. Took him to dinner. Go to movies. Chill at his apartment and be really close. Walked with him and his dog. We read the same books, so we talked about them. We spent time together. Shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond for his apartment. All types of shit. It had all the makings of a romantic journey. I felt like some 13 year old girl. When I first met him, I couldn't get enough of him, but something happened. Something veered to some obsure left and I let him and the crush go.

I was actually cool with it, after a time, because I didn't get it. I didn't get what it meant. We talked about it and he didn't want anything, but a friendship from me. Which I understood, after I picked my heart up off the floor. He had his trepidations, so did I, but I was willing to kinda throw caution to the wind and see where it went. He didn't, so I hit that 3rd wall and entered the "friend zone". You know which zone I am talking about. The one we invariably all go into or create ourselves through some odd circumstances. It made me hate having crushes. It shows you how much you don't have control over your feelings, because everything is fleeting and in flight with like this odd affection that you can't seem to get a grasp on. It sucks ass! And they can hurt so bad, because you'll never know why they don't see you for who are and how much you care about them. At one point, I had a crush on a guy who didn't even know I existed. Well he did, he chose not to acknowledge it. I'll write about that one day soon. Anyway...

Month and months and more months go by. We speak online and often, sometimes a call or two. I don't see him much, but a few occassions at the train station. Then we speed up to more and more months later and right on into this saturday afternoon, when we have lunch together for the first time in eons or by some wierd twist of gay fate. He wants to hang with me. He did this once before. He arbitrarily wanted to see me one night. And like an idiot, I went to his crib. I led myself back to the same vunlerable spot I always found myself. Sitting on his couch, wondering, wishing, that just if, he'll make a move or say something. "Do something muthafucka!", I used to scream in my brain. All the while knowing damn well that he won't. Sigh.

So today, during lunch he asked me what I was doing for the rest of the night and I let him know I am going to check out a movie later. "Give me a call, when you do. I'll go with you." Not only did he invite himself, but I didn't say no to him either. Mistake #1. So after I left, I thought about it for a little and realized that I am utterly insane to let a guy get to me like this and tried so eagerly to dismiss it. So we cut to later when he meets me and the roomie for the movies. He's being cute and adorable and I am trying to really keep my cool and not fuckin melt all over the place. We get to the movies and everything is cool. Afterwards, we all walk to the train, since we take the same one. (Yeah he lives in the same neighborhood too.) On the way, during our 3-way conversations, I noticed certain looks he gave me, when I wasn't particularly talking to him. I tried to shrugg them off. We get to our stop and we both go to get something to eat at the 24-hour store. The roommate leaves us, because at this point, the tension has built and he felt and didn't want to be in the same blast area.

We both aren't that hungry and decided to share a sandwich. We get our food, joke around in the store. Aggravate each other with being silly. Typical shit that we do. Then we leave the store. We split up our stuff and then its awkard time. Where I don't know what's going to happen next. Where I don't know what he's thinking. Where I don't know what the next step will be. In a non-chalant way, he had asked me to come over to watch a movie, without really saying those exact words. This is the second attempt, because he hinted at it on the train. Being the strong one that I claim to be, I dismissed it. So at the end of the night, I told him thanks for hangin out with me, I gave him one of those street, hand-shake hugs and walked off.

I get home and I share what just happened and how I felt, because my friends knew where I was. They are concerned partially due to the fact that this guy is an utter flake. He has a tendency to disappear and reappear when the mood suits him and be very flirtatious and adorable when its necessary and I tend to fall for it everytime. And he fuckin knows it or he's just that dense.

Where I falter is that desire to have him around, that recoiling feeling that I despise so well. The fuckin' place where I stored this crush, has started to pop at the seams. I hate that I get like this and become so jello-y when I am around him. Hell I had a dream about the fuckhead that same night! I want to be in that place where I'll stop thinking of him. Arrgghhhhhh!!! He doesn't get it. And I am sucker for allowing myself to get wrapped up in it.

All in all, I know that there will be nothing to come from it, but there's that faint glimmer of hope in the back of my noggin that allows this shit to process. It doesn't get me anywhere, but frustrated and aggravated that I still have this "thing" or whatever it is for this dude. Since I am still in the basement of love's house, I know this isn't very becoming of me, but there's also a part of me realizes that I like him, it's not in the forefront of my mind like, but like nonetheless. I know how I feel. However, liking him is the problem. I don't want to, if it's going to make me become dumb, deaf and blind in the process.

I feel better now that I have that off my chest, but that fucking recoil. It's a bitch. I'll get that feeling out of me one way or another. And soon.

Correlations and Conclusions on Dating

2006-08-20T03:08:00.000-04:00

So I am back to my crazy stance on dating and it’s satirical effect on my life. I haven't written about this in a long time, because frankly dating scares the living shit out of me now. At this stage, you’d think I’d have a handle on affairs of the heart and I really don’t at times. It still feels like I am 19 years old again and I am still getting a handle on it and then there are times when I am on point with my decisions. I decided to take a further look into some of the issues I am having with dating and how I feel about it.

I took a deep hard look on some things and I saw things that I do normally and some of the things that I don't normally, but these depend on the circumstances. However, I did find that am clearly lacking that pivotal and important bone in my body that allows me to disconnect myself from actually liking a guy too soon right after we meet. Due to me not having this bone, I tend to like a guy a whole lot while I get to know him. It puts me in a good mood and I feel like I’m walking with my head in the clouds. It makes me feel good, because not only is he attractive, but also because he’s new to me. When something is new to you, you want to know everything about it right? And every bit of news makes you smile. I get like that with everything. I watch a movie and see an actor I like; I want to see other things he’s in. I read a book; the author was really good; I want to read other books they’ve written. The list can go on and on. Hell it even goes as far as a porno actor for me. This point of view goes for everything I come across in my life, but when I apply it to men, it’s not the same procedure for dating and I am unwillingly to get control of emotions in that area to actually dissuade myself. Therein lies the problem. Does this happen to anyone else?

What’s actually happening is that the attraction is forming outside of my control. This is where I hit walls. My expectations shoot way up and then something happens to knock it all the way back down again. And it’s usually me, because I guess my intentions are not my actions. So I tread, very, very lightly with guys now. However, here’s where it gets tricky and where I hear the most from friends. What I should be doing as I am told is a myriad of four possible things:

1). Make new friends and/or acquaintances.
2). Don’t go looking for love. Let it find you.
3). Find someone who agrees with you on not getting into anything serious.
4). Find a hook-up.

And in no concerning order. (Scratches head.) Let’s examine these suggestions one at a time.

Suggestion #1. Make New Friends and/or Acquaintances.
I am all for making new friends, but it seems in the gay community we have enough “friends” and not enough “boyfriends” to go around. In my effort to meet new people and get to know them, there’s a certain degree of attraction that permeate conversations. It really isn’t my intention for this to happen. It just does. You can have simple conversations with guys and somehow, somewhere in the middle of it all, very, bad thoughts can creep in and lead you down a path you never intended to walk down. However, it happens more so than normal and yet we never learn from our mistakes. (I should know.) What annoys me the most is that I don’t really know them or who they are as a person. Then the attraction eventually leads to the inevitable “catching feelings” area from either party. This is where things can get touchy and getting hurt (for either party) is the next station stop. This overwhelming feeling of stupidity waifs over me, like the smell of arroz y gandoles coming through my bedroom window from my landlord’s kitchen beneath me. My intentions are not always to be that attracted to someone at first, but it tends to start moving in that direction along the way. This is typical and usually happens in the first encounter. Why does that always happen? Let’s face it, this is a horrible reality, but it happens. What’s even more ugly is that many friendships occur in the gay world when being able to date that person is not an option. That usually stems from screw-ups at about midway through the courtship. Unclear communication is common. Wrong expectations become the wrong intentions and everything goes up in a flame like the pier during PRIDE.

Suggestion #2. Don't Go Looking For Love. Let It Find You. Hmmmm. I’ve had it a few times in my life so far. If there’s anything I’ve learned, you can’t go looking for love. It happens naturally and over time and blah, blah, blah. Sorry to be so cavalier on this, but love is not in the cards for me right now. I don’t think I can find love at a bar, or a club or even online. Making a connection with people in these venues are easy sure – find love in them – highly unlikely. Don’t get me wrong, it has happened before and to so many other folks out there and I am not going to knock it. Love will happen when it’s time. Forcing it causes all kinds of problems anyway, like severe frustration, high expectations, and acute loneliness. It'll come. Love takes time blah, blah, blah.

Suggestion #3. Find Someone Who Doesn't Want Anything Serious. Looking for someone who doesn’t want anything serious is actually the easiest to find. Yeah right! For other people it seems really easy. I am the only one who seems to be having difficulties with it. Because I really don't want anything serious and yet I find people who are very, relationship oriented. Whatever happened to casual dating and getting to know someone before getting into a relationship? Did that practice end when the Crusades did, because I don't see it happening anywhere. We seem to consistantly determine someone is right for us based on several conversations through an IM window and a few phone conversations. If I do meet a guy who doesn’t want anything serious, that’s great, but it tends to go another route after awhile, unless both people are serious to commit to not committing. This is where it sucks, because these are also the ones that are extremely hot, but yet somehow sensibly damaged in some aspect. They’re either really mistrusting, really jaded, has a fan club of internet groupies, never in a good space for it, cheating on their current boyfriends, bi-polar, on medication for depression, or lives states away. Then somehow feel that everyone is going to fall in love with them, so they keep distant. A little too distant. Those are usually the good ones and the ones who don't want anything serious, but yet they've already made up their minds about it. Yeah they’re easy to find, but they come with a price. (Believe me I know this all too well.) I am having a hard time with this particular situation.

Suggestion #4. Finding a hook-up. Okay. This shit right here - I could never do this correctly. This is also something that seems really easy for other people I know. I am clearly lacking that other bone in my body as well to do this. I don’t have that disconnect that normal gay guys have. I think I had it when I was 19, where it is now I don’t know now. It keeps crossing over with the idea of an actual connection with someone, that's more than physical. I’ve had several failed attempts from that god-awful website, Adam4Adam. A4A is entertaining for pure voyeuristic intentions, but can be ultimately such a waste of time, entertaining yes, but such a waste. I kept crossing lines with asking people their names and telling them I don’t have any x-rated pic. One guy even got upset because I didn’t have a camera phone to take one right then and there for him. Apparently that’s none of these things are a good practice in the hook up world. I would like more substance from guys, but hook up sites are not the way to go. Hooking up can be fun, but you’re not really going to get someone to like you further than the first encounter. Yet, we still kinda do it. LOL.

Here's a conclusion: This shit [dating] is so utterly out of control that it boggles my mind every now and then. Maybe it’s me. Maybe my head being in the clouds has really veiled my judgment on things. Or it could be that seriously insane intimacy issue I just figured out I have. LOL. Either way, there is just so much we have to do as single people these days. We have to be armed to the teeth emotionally just to get through dinner with a guy sometimes or just remain highly guarded until we find out more about the guy. Hell, it's hard to arrange a dinner with a guy these days.

Here's another conclusion and a correlation for you: dating can be ardous. Yet, we still stick in the game. We keep hitting that reset button on guys and hope things will be different. Can they be? Sure they can. Will you let it be different? It's up to you.

Movie Review: Clerks 2

2006-08-18T13:04:00.000-04:00

Clerks 2 is a funny, fuckin movie. I was in tears for a good portion of this movie, because Kevin Smith is a god to me. He has a whimsical and irreverent glee to his writing characters that you can’t help, but laugh at the utter absurdity of it all and it works. I love pretty much everything he’s done. Well I am still unsure of Jersey Girl, but he wanted to do a romantic comedy. Anyway, if he was do a sequel to any movie, I wanted it to be this one. If you don’t remember the original movie, do yourself a favor and go back and watch it. Watch that one, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back. They had something to do with Clerks 2 if anything, some plot points.

As for the movie, ten years ago best friends Dante Hicks (BRIAN O'HALLORAN) and Randal Graves (JEFF ANDERSON) were New Jersey mini-mall clerks still slacking off together in their early 20s. Now, Kevin Smith checks back in to see what kind of changes have rocked their lives -- in work, romance and their eternally raucous life philosophy. What he discovers is that never before have so many still done so little while having so much fun doing it. Now working in the fast-food universe, Dante and Randal have managed to maintain, and even hone, their in-your-face attitudes, agile skill with vulgarities and unbridled love of screwing with the customers. But they're also faced with such shocking new prospects as marriage, leaving Jersey and finding real careers.Kevin Smith pushes his nothing-is-sacred humor right to the edge and then takes a leap as Dante and Randal invade the world of Mooby's fast food restaurant, where the slogan is "I'm Eating It." Behind the counter, where the only other employees are an uber-nerd (TREVOR FERHMAN) and an entirely too sexy manager (ROSARIO DAWSON), Dante and Randal are free to offend anybody and everybody who so much as orders fries in their inimitably irreverent way.

But, even as riotous debates rage between them over such burning matters as George Lucas v. Peter Jackson v. Jesus, change is on the horizon. When Dante announces that he's going to leave Jersey forever and marry Emma Bunting (JENNIFER SCHWALBACH), Randal plots a going-away party so shocking it will draw the police, the fire department and which will probably bring potential protests from PETA, while altering their lives forever.

One thing’s for certain, this isn’t the Clerks I loved, but then it is, but something else too. All the elements are the same, it’s just that Kevin Smith is older and more experienced and so are his characters. What we have is a psuedo-romantic comedy, complete with jokes that run from oral sex, homosexuality, drugs, being a virgin, being a geek, being a loser and everything in between. For once, you see in the characters that being a slacker for so long, has ensured that it’s the only thing they can do/have left and it's effecting them now. Kevin’s introspective look into this makes the film centered in understanding their nature. This isn't something they do for fun anymore it's become their lives and the the thought of growing up scares them. It’s a mature look at these people after all these years. It can get touching at times, which didn’t happen in Clerks. The first film was balls to the wall, witty banter that will forever be forged in my fragile little mind. Clerks 2 expands on that with a different offering and I loved it. There still those take no prisoners jokes, we've all come to love. With that intact it's a solid movie. You also can’t get enough of Jay and Silent Bob, since they have become cultural icons over the last 10 years. They’re here in all of their glory, because Clerks was the first movie you saw them in and it’s fitting that they’re back home and doing their shit as always.

Clerks 2 is definitely better than Jersey Girl, but don’t expect to be blown away either. Kevin Smith has a fan base. Either you get his humor or not. I recommend this movie only to the fans of his work. If you've never seen a Kevin Smith movie, go back and get an appreciation for them before you venture to see the growth in his movie making and talent as a writer. He approached this one differently, but still gave you the same fun factor as the original, if not upped it a little. It also feels like he’s saying farewell to these characters, so it’s kinda sad to see this end, because you are not sure if we’ll ever get to see any of the characters from Kevin’s Smith Universe again. It’s a fitting end.

Final Grade

2006-08-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

After months of not knowing, I finally was able to get my grades from the class I took in the Spring.

Evil Elmo

2006-08-15T11:08:00.000-04:00

I found this article online today from a writer on the LA Times. It's hysterical and I am in 100% agreement. I wish I would have the stones to write something like this, but unlike him, I knew I could do nothing about Elmo's presence, but sit in hope that my little cousin, Michelle didn't get into like the other zombie children of America. Unfortunately, Elmo has to compete the Univsion-inept Dora the Explorer in Michelle's eyes and I don't mind it at all. Even though the thought of Dora's talking back-back would scare the shit out of me if was a child, it's better than that . Happy reading!
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Joel Stein: Elmo Is an Evildoer
The self-obsessed Sesame Street Muppet is destroying all that is holy on children's TV.
August 15, 2006

ELMO REFUSED to be interviewed for this column. I consider this to be a supreme act of cowardice. And it doesn't surprise me one bit. Elmo is an annoying tool.

Yes, I know that children love Elmo. But children are idiots. That's why we don't let them have jobs. Could you imagine an office full of children? They'd spend all day telling dumb jokes and talking about their poop. It would be like it was before women entered the workplace.

"Sesame Street" — which still has sharp, funny writing — is being destroyed by idiot cuteness. Not only is the patronizing, baby-talking Elmo usurping most of the hour, but "Sesame Street" — which debuted its 37th season Monday — added its first new female Muppet in 13 years: the sparkly haired, tutu-wearing, button-nosed, pink-skinned fairy goddaughter Abby Cadabby. Her shaky magic skills get her in situations she needs to get bailed out of, like the anti-"Bewitched."

Plus, she's got that creepy, throaty, little-girl Lindsay Lohan kind of voice, and a Paris Hilton-esque catchphrase: "That's so magic." When I watched "Sesame Street" in the '70s, the human cast and the Muppets were quirky adults who didn't talk down to me with baby voices. Now the human cast gets almost no airtime, and the show is dominated by Elmo, Baby Bear and, now, Abby Cadabby — preschoolers enamored by their own adorable stupidity.

The lesson they teach — in opposition to Oscar, Big Bird, Grover or Bert — is that bland neediness gets you stuff much more easily than character. We are breeding a nation of Anna Nicole Smiths.

I am not the only one who hates Elmo. Vernon Chatman and John Lee, the creators of MTV2's dark "Sesame Street" parody, "Wonder Showzen," think the evil red one is destroying the show."Elmo doesn't grow. People show him something and he laughs. He doesn't learn a lesson," says Lee. "It's the exact opposite of what old 'Sesame Street' used to do. Elmo has been learning the same lesson his whole life, which is that Elmo likes Elmo."

Chatman, who refers to Elmo as the Jar Jar Binks of "Sesame Street," worries that Elmo teaches kids to care only about themselves.

"Elmo is just a baby-voiced, self-obsessed character who is only concerned with Elmo," says Lee. "He just passively observes things: 'Elmo is looking at a sandwich. Elmo is eating a sandwich. Elmo is crapping out the sandwich and writing his name on the wall with it.' " The last celebrity to so obsessively refer to himself in the third person was Richard Nixon.

Whereas Count Von Count markets math and Oscar markets the acceptability of negative emotions, Elmo, brilliantly, just markets Elmo, leading him to be the show's cash cow, or whatever misshapen animal he's supposed to be.

I question not only Abby Cadabby, but all of Elmo's associates. You may recall that Elmo testified before Congress about music education. But you may not remember who requested Elmo's appearance: Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham, now in jail for taking at least $2.4 million in bribes. I'm not implying that Elmo has taken dirty money, but these are the kind of people Elmo surrounds himself with.

I understand that "Sesame Street" has to compete in a Nickelodeon-Disney Channel-Wiggles-Pixar universe. In fact, the new episodes start with " 'Sesame Street' is brought to you by the following … " and then, instead of gently mocking consumerism by listing letters and numbers, they actually show real spots for McDonald's, Beaches resorts, Pampers and EverydayKidz.com — the last of which apparently helps children spell only if they want to be rappers.

I desperately don't want the show to go away, so I know they can't afford to run the "Elmo accidentally drank bleach and died" episode. Instead, they need to simply take Elmo and his buddies and give them their own hour-long show for the idiot spawn. Then put Luis, Gordon and the cool Muppets on their own half-hour "Classic Sesame" for the kids who will one day actually contribute to our society.

Whichever of the two shows you watched would serve as a convenient litmus test for the rest of your life. "Which 'Sesame Street' did you watch?" will be code on college applications, Internet dating and job applications. Blue and red states will be divided not by presidential choices, but by Grover and Elmo. If we can't save all the kids, let's at least save the ones who can master speaking in first-person. The rest we'll use for reality TV stars.

4 Days Until...

2006-08-14T16:03:00.000-04:00

"There are muthafuckin' snakes on the muthafuckin' plane!" - Samuel Jackson. SOAP.

It's coming and there's nothing you can do about it. This movie will fuckin' own me.

DVDs This Weekend

2006-08-14T11:12:00.000-04:00

So since I spent a majority of this weekend. Resting and having a relaxing time catching up on sleep and working on some projects, (i.e. my screen plays and comic book scripts) I also spent it watching DVDs as I usually do, however this weekend's viewing enjoyment was one I have to share.

Phat Girlz. Avoid this movie at all cost. Unless you're an insane Mo'Nique fan, okay, but otherwise, avoid this movie like it had the Black Plague. Not the one that severely affects black cinema these days, but the one that took out half of Europe in the late 14th century. I don't even want to go into how stupid this movie was. I want the hours back from my life that I squandered on this one. I blame Larry.

Scrubs. I think one of the funniest shows left on television. Scrubs has always been a favorite of mine and I just recently scored Season 1 and 2, which I am ravenously going through in one sitting. I spent a majority of my weekend watching Season 1. It's such a hilarious show. Pretty inexpensive too. Check em out.

Reno 911!. Another funny show. I went back and watched some of my favorite episodes from my Season 1 box set. Handsdown, my favorites are the episodes with Terry, the gay prositute on skates. Nick Swardson, who plays Terry is insane. The first season is like $21. Get it!

Clerks. This was in honor of going to see Clerks 2 yesterday, which I will have a review for shortly. Another great movie. If you haven't seen this or any of the other Kevin Smith films, please do yourself a favor and watch this one and all his others. Well except Jersey Girl. I heard that one was on the same level as kitty litter.

Not 25 Anymore/Confessions From A Raging Insomniac

2006-08-09T12:14:00.000-04:00

I know I am not 25 anymore, but I am behaving like it. When I was younger and didn’t have many cares and woes, I’d stay up late, go out, and have a good time and go to work the next day like I was made of Adamantium. (A fictional chemical substance often referred to as a metal. Wolverine has a skeleton laced with this invincible material for the non-geeks out there. So now you know.) Those were the days. College life. I’d go to Escuelitas with Sean and some other Enrique Cruz crew I was hanging out with then. Stay out till 3 or 4 and then go to work. I’d just pop open a pepsi, eat a pop-tart and go on with my merry way. And I was good. I am Dre's ego.

That’s not the case anymore.

Life is different. I am older. Life seems to be flying by and time isn’t what it used to be. I need my sleep. I’m clockin’ 30 and yeah I know I sound like an old man, but when I was younger, I think I seriously took sleeping for granted. In fact I know I hated it when I was in day care. I hated having to go sleep when I wasn’t ready. I’ve always been that way; fighting sleep like Freddy Krueger was after me. Now, I so fuckin cherish the sleep I get, it’s not even funny. It’s one of my favorite past times. Yes it recharges and it calms you, hell I even get wet dreams out of sleeping still, but sleep is one of those great things I tend to still not to do. I am a night owl. I stay up. Shooting the shit, doing nothing and everything, secretly wanting to be a the world's first african american ninja, but I am not 25 anymore. I can’t get by on 3-5 hours of sleep any longer. I need longer rest periods, cuz frankly this Ninja Negro is tired. And everything is a single serving.

I am writing this at work, just to keep awake.

My problem is I think I can actually hang out like that during the week now, when I know good and damn well that I got work in the morning. Even more so I slowly began to realize that I couldn’t function without at least 7 hours of sleep. I stay up with Baby Boy and Travis and watch movies till ungodly hours and expect to get up from that and have a full day of work and gym time and personal time. Including coping with work related stress, it’s hard to get a good nights sleep. And I am so dependant on coffee and its many incarnations, Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donughts, or the cart guy. I need it like air now and it’s so bad. I just need to frikkin sleep. I am not 25 anymore and it shows with these Kate Spades (bags) under my eyes all the time. You can swallow a whole pint of blood before you get sick.

And as I sit here and type this blog, I’ve counted the hours of sleep I’ve gotten over the last 2 days. I’ve gotten 6 total. I tried to get back on a regular sleeping schedule, even with the assistance of sleep aids, which are wonderful and non-habit forming (yeah right), they seem to do the trick, but I have force myself from falling asleep to television, or playing a video game, stressin’, getting on the computer or whatever stimuli I’ll have in my room. Based on this crazy ass insomnia I have, I have to get to sleep, because the last time this happened, Brad Pitt became someone’s alter ego in Fight Club. The first rule of….ahhh…see what happens when you watch tv before you go to bed. It affects your reality. Perception deteriorates. And blah blah blah.

Can I sleep at my desk? Nope.
Sleep in the bathroom? I’d fall into the toilet.
Actually go to bed on time? Please not without some Tylenol PM.

Did you know caffeine stays in your system for up to 12 hours? Who knew? I sure the hell didn’t, cuz I was throwing back some diet pepsi like it was going out of style. Maybe that’s my dreams are all nightmares and twisted Alice in Fucked-Up Wonderland shit. I’ve gotten some good screenplays from them though. I got 3 that I am working on now. [Hollywood here I come.]

Sleep is a luxury. I’d have a better chance at winning Mega Millions.

Actually, I can get a better sleep. I just need to stop fighting it. The first rule of…

I am Dre’s raging bile duct.

I must stop watching Fight Club before I go to sleep. Maybe I need to jerk off more? Hmmm. Jerking off to Fight Club? Yeah that works...

...I am rambling now.

Brick

2006-08-08T22:49:00.000-04:00

Brick. One word. Great film. I watched this movie on Monday night after Baby Boy and I raided the Block for some movies. We picked up a few, but had to watch this one first, because technically we weren't supposed to have it because the movie wasn't supposed to be released until Tuesday. I heard some buzz about Brick when it was on limited release a few months ago and I had wanted to check it out when it was at one of the art houses here. Anyway, this was an awesome fuckin' movie. Definitely one of the better movies I've seen in a long time, just from a filmmaking perspective alone. Solid story. Great fuckin dialogue. Phenomenal atmosphere and grit. It's like the hybrid script if Donnie Darko met the Maltese Falcon. Please check this movie out. I can't say/stress it more.

Here's a synopsis from the box.

In a modern-day Southern California neighborhood and high school, student Brendan Frye's piercing intelligence spares no one. He's not afraid to back up his words with actions, and knows all the angles; yet he prefers to stay an outsider, and does - until the day that his ex-girlfriend, Emily, reaches out to him unexpectedly and then vanishes. His feelings for her still run deep; so much so, that he becomes consumed with finding his troubled inamorata. To find her, he enlists the aid of his only true peer, the Brain, while keeping the assistant vice principal only occasionally informed of what quickly becomes a dangerous investigation. Brendan's single-minded unearthing of students' secrets thrusts him headlong into the colliding social orbits of rich-girl sophisticate Laura, intimidating Tugger, substance-abusing Dode, seductive Kara, jock Brad and - most ominously - non-student the Pin. Only by gaining acceptance into the Pin's closely guarded inner circle of crime and punishment that Brendan will be able to uncover hard truths about himself, Emily and the suspects that he is getting closer to.

The Nation Residing In My House

2006-08-03T22:39:00.000-04:00

Having Baby Boy live with me so far is like having a little brother, who's somewhat close to my age, more extroverted and a complete hornball.

I've known Chulo for a very, long time (since he was 16) and he never ceases to amaze me how funny and wierd he is at the same time, but it's a good wierd. The Nation of Chulo is definitely in my house now and there's no mistaking it. It's like having a highly, political twink live with you, who's got these other-wordly opinions on just about everything and it's so hysterical to me the things he gets himself into. Then to have him interact with Travis, who is also very political and intelligent - I'm usually in tears from the laughs.

It's good to have him here though. It's also shown how he's definitely a part of my life, being that I am his creator and all. Yes, you all can blame me for any Darth Chulo shenanigans and mishaps that has happened over the years, because when I made him, I forgot to include an off switch. He's incouragable.

He's been here for about 2 weeks now and it's felt longer than that for some reason. That just means he's having a great time and we're all in for a world of craziness and laughter for the next 2 months.

God help me.
God help us all.

Thankful

2006-08-02T23:20:00.000-04:00

I got a frantic voicemail at work today from my mom exclaiming that my sister had been in a car accident. I immediately called her back, on my sister's phone, which she had on her. The first thing out of her mouth was that "My sister was fine". I thanked God for the news, because I had gotten really worried that I would hear the worst news from her.

My mom explained that a car hit her as she was turning the corner, she spun out of control and hit a fire hydrant. If it wasn't for the fire hydrant, my sis would have went into a wall. The rear end of the car was totaled. My sister was rushed to the hospital, where she got checked out. Other than the soreness, my sister is fine. Not even a scratch. She's just banged up a little, which makes her very, lucky. However, the new MacBook in her trunk wasn't so lucky and didn't make it. That was totaled as well. That however, doesn't matter as long as my sister was fine. My mom told me not to go the hospital, because they released her sometime after I talked to her. She left the hospital with some sorness and a presciption for Mortin, which I think is a fine toss up when dealing with your life. I am happy that this wasn't serious.

I've talked to her and she sounds really sad and bummed that it happened, but she's also very, thankful because it could have been worse.

Hot Fuzz

2006-08-01T20:10:00.000-04:00

If you don't know this by now, one of my favorite movies of all time is Shaun of the Dead, which is now a cult classic. I watch it all the time and I recommend it to anyone to check out that genius of a film. It's one of the best things to come out of the U.K.

This blog however is about the good news I just found out today. The guys behind Shaun of the Dead (Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright) has finished filming and is releasing a new movie called Hot Fuzz. I am so excited about this, but the fact that I have to wait until March to see it is pure bullocks. LMAO. (Their British. What can I say?) I would rather have a sequel to Shaun of the Dead, but I'll take this one instead. This time around as you can see from the pic to the right, is a cop movie with laughs and action and I can't wait to see it.

I think Simon Pegg (Shaun) is a comedic genuis and his best friend (in real life), Nick Frost (Ed) is just as funny. I read that their panel at the San Diego Comic Con was hyterical and I so wish I was there. However, I found out they had podcasts on iTunes, so I've been watching that. Then I found their website, which has more video blogs. So I have been watching them all day. If you can check it out, Video Blog 9 is absolutely the funniest shit. Cheers mate!

Brokeback Joker

2006-08-01T12:10:00.000-04:00

WB annouced late last night that Heath Ledger has signed on to play The Joker in the Batman Begins sequel, scheduled for 2008. All I can say is "wow" and "huh". I can't say that I am excited about this because I've never seen Heath Ledger play a villian/bad guy persona in any of his films. So it's slightly difficult to place him in the role. Then again, Batman Begins has a younger feel to it Christian Bale was awesome as Batman (would I wouldn't have placed either) and Heath would be a welcome addition. It's just you don't expect him to be gritty or psychotic enough. The Joker is fuckin' nuts. To play him would be boderline schizophrenia for any actor. Maybe he wanted to to do just that, stretch his acting chops with something he would never think of doing. It's worked for Johnny Depp with Captain Jack Sparrow.

Batman Begins was such a great movie
and a faithful interpretation of the Dark Knight
and I am sequel will be as well. Other than the several incarnations in various cartoons and a few live action appearances, the Joker hasn't been seen as a live person on films, since Tim Burton's Batman in 1991. Jack Nicholson's performance was legendary, only really due to him doing years of crazy characters in film; it was expected. I didn't think Kevin Spacey would make a good Lex Luthor, because Gene Hackman had that role down pact, but boy was I wrong. Heath could be good.
We'll see soon enough.

Just If....

2006-07-29T15:32:00.000-04:00

Everyday I check to see if I get an email from him and I don’t.
Everyday I check to see if I get a voicemail from him and I don’t.
Everyday I check to see if I am still holding on.
Everyday I check to see if he thinks about me, like I think about him.
Everyday I check to see if I want to be mad at him or happy for him.
Everyday I check to see if I slip more and more away from him.
Everyday I check to see if I mean anything to him anymore.
Everyday I check to see if I’ll ever hear from him again.
Everyday I check to see if anyone would understand me.
Everyday I check to see if I….
Everyday I check to see if I....

Everyday I check to see, just if….

That Damn Closet

2006-07-27T15:37:00.000-04:00

If my life were a movie, it more than likely is Usual Suspects. I would be the gay version of Keyser Soze. I only say this, because there are literally a handful of people in my life who don't truly know who I am. In other words, I am not out to them. There are particular reasons and circumstances why, but ultimately I feel that if they find out, my relationship with them might not stand the test of it. I mention Keyser Soze because in the movie, Verbal Kint aka Keyser Soze, never let on to whom he really was; only to the people he trusted. I feel like that sometimes. Let me explain.

It has always been a big insecurity of mine to have someone I know find out I am gay and reject me or cease to be my friend. This has happened once back in my time at Del State when a few of the guys I hung out with, found out I was gay and treated me like I had the plague. When I was in college, being gay wasn’t the “it” thing back then or rather it wasn't really normal and still a very taboo subject. I was closeted for the entire duration of my time there. So it was really hard to cope. I had my mom, Gary and Ken (my no-exactly straight roommate) to support me, a few people on campus knew, and even a boyfriend back home, but I still felt this thing where I would drive people away due to my sexuality. It bothered me to no end.

Needless to say over the next few years as I became more comfortable with myself and the people in my life, it was easier to say who I was and I believe easier for people to accept it. It came up once more with another guy I became close with while working at FCUK. That turned out okay, but I still think after all these years he still wishes I were straight for some reason. I had let go of that fear and when I found myself working at the bank, only close friends and co-workers knew. I didn’t go blabbing my business, because I didn’t know everyone. So I kept a lid on it, not to the extent I did in college, but still I covered it. I was being discrete and on a need to know basis. If you asked, I told.To which many of the women I worked with knew, because naturally I felt the women were more acceptant about it then the guys here, who are like hyper-masculine and all about tits and ass. Only one guy knows and he’s also gay, and older as well. He helped a lot with the “office-outting” I went through. However, you have all the guys in IT who think I am this pussy-loving, hetero who loves action flicks, 80’s cartoons, comic books, various music and Nextel phones. Which I am, but except the whole pussy-loving, hetero thingie.

Which leads me to other guys, the ones in the mailroom, whom I am the closest to. Orlando, Roger and Tommy have no idea what compromises the rest of Dré and something happened a few days, which was the reassurance as to why I hadn’t told them yet. I’ve known them for a little over 4 years now and they’re really great, funny guys who I like to spend time with in and outside of work. However, they have no idea that I am gay and sometimes I forget that I haven’t told them, because we talk about so much other shit, sexuality has never been an issue, even though I am guilty of a “yeah she’s hot” sentence or two. Orlando thinks I’m a girl magnet, because I am not afraid to talk to a chic. (If he only knew why.) I’ve been meaning to let them know, but I don’t want them to be different around me. I don’t want them to stop being who they are, so in an effort to that I end up sacrificing who I am. I know, it’s dumb, so let’s not get into that. I am sharing now. I never mustered enough courage to say anything to them.

So let’s speed up to the other day, we were having one of our funny discussions, about virtually anything and we got into political correctness. We talked a bit about it and it lead to Tommy asking why Latino males call each other “papi”. He’s heard it a few times and saw that many guys say it in the bodega in his neighborhood. Orlando (being Dominican) explained it that “papi, is a term of endearment to show affection, usually said by children to their fathers, said by wives and girlfriends or said by fags.” This caught me way off guard. So off guard that I got offended. I didn’t think the word "fag" would slip from him like that and he had this general disgust in his face. Then he changed the subject. I didn’t say anything about it, but laughed at the rest of things that were said and then left. I was in awe, but then I thought to myself, I don’t think he would have said that if they knew that Gay Soze was in the room. I keep saying to myself, there are hot-blooded heterosexual males, whom having a gay man present, no matter what he’s like, could be uncomfortable for them. Then there are the ones are unphased by it. Unfortunately, I think these would be the ones to have an issue with it (well maybe not Tommy). I have no idea why Orlando would say such a thing. He's one of the nicest, sweetest guys I know, and whom I get along with the most. It could have even been blatant ignorance that he said it or he really dislikes gay people. Either way, I don’t know. This stunned me to no end, because I was close to telling them that I was gay. I finally got the courage to tell them and then something like this happens which pushes me back in that damn closet again, which I don't really like.

Can I continue to put up this front with them to spare their feelings or do I feel there’s more at stake here? I have been approached with this before and was met with no opposition, so why wouldn't I expect the same now? Why can't I say something to them? Am I afraid that they'll react harshly? Maybe. Can I just ignore this and hold on a little longer until I no longer work here? I know what I have to do, but I don't want to now.

I don't know.

This is going to bother me for awhile.

1/4 of N*SYNC is Gay!!!!

2006-07-26T14:28:00.000-04:00

I know I am not the only guy in the gay blogsphere to report this, but yeah, imagine my surprise when I read this moring that the most least-popular member of the boy band N*SYNC is a homo. It was released to the press today that Lance Bass is out and proud and in a stable relationship with reality tv star hottie, Reichen, from CBS's Amazing Race Season 1.

I've always had my money on JC at one point, but never in a million years would I think that Lance would be the one to be gay. Lance was so far off the radar, even my gaydar didn't pick it up. Needless to say, from what I read, he's happy, a little worried this might hurt the future of N*SYNC, but happy.

I'd be too if I had a man who looked like that too. What's so funny about this is that this makes the 3rd boyband member within several months to come out. Savage Garden's front man, Darren Hayes married his secret boyfriend recently and Mark from the UK group, Westlife came out earlier this year.

Next thing you know the least talented members of Backstreet Boys and 98 Degress will do the same thing. I am just waiting for one of the members of B2K to come out next (and ya'll know who it is you Raz B fans) and we'll be all good.

Emergence-SEE!

2006-07-24T23:35:00.000-04:00

Today, me and Travis went to check out Daniel Beaty, an outstanding poet/artist/writer at the Public Theatre in the East Village. In almost full venue of people, Daniel performed a "work in-progress" one man show called Emergence-SEE!. This was a phenomenal piece of work, which was very powerful in delivery and in tone. It's a one man show, with layered multi-character personas throughout. The show's premise is about what happens when a mysterious and haunting slavery ship docks at Liberty Island, how the world reacts to it and its effects on a particular group of people. Daniel is a seriously talented individual, because his characters were real and he switched back and forth so fluidly, it was almost like watching schizophrenic television with a purpose.

I saw Daniel perform once several months ago at an invitational slam Travis performed at. He did piece about a little girl with AIDS name Clarisa (which he worked into Emergence-SEE). I knew then that he was amazing and to see something like that fully realized was something I'll always remember. For me, I loved how Daniel performed all these different personalities he works into it. It was a serious piece of work. It's inspirational to everyone who sees it and I definitely recommend you check it out when he peforms it. From what I understand he's touring with it. Check out his website for more details: www.danielbeaty.com

Now all we need is for my roommate to do is one man show. I am sure he's got enough material from both his and my bizarre world that he can do just as good, if not better. =)

My New iPod

2006-07-22T19:09:00.000-04:00

Today, I finally got my iPod back. No, I didn't get my old Mini fixed, I gots me a new 30 gig Video iPod! I am so excited.

I got it in black and it's so much cooler and sleeker than the white. It's been about 2 months since my iPod was broken, so I was so happy that I was able to get another one. Even though I'll be giving out hand jobs at Hunts Point for about a week to pay for it, but it was worth it. (Just kidding about Hunts Point.I'll do that when I get my Xbox 360. LOL)

Now I have a reason to head to the Apple Store over the weekend to get rubber case for it. I don't want what happened last time to happen again. I'll go to the new one on Madison Ave, because that's the coolest store to be.

I am so happy to have something to listen to again while I am in the gym.

English Is Italian

2006-07-21T12:37:00.000-04:00

Last night, I had dinner with a few co-workers (Meki and Maria) and a vendor of ours at this place called English Is Italian. OMG. I have never really had a food experience like this and I had to write about it, because if you ever get a chance to go to this place – GO! I had that much fun.

Maria and I met Meki and the others there around 6:00pm for an early dinner. We were really the only ones there. So it was pretty quiet. The atmosphere and tables were great and the music was slow to mid-tempo house music. We ordered a round of drinks. I had something called a Tuscan Sun, which pretty much tasted like a Sunny D on steroids. It was good. Anyway, the food ordering was very different than what I am used to, because it’s non-traditional, even though it seems like a banquet style dinner set-up. The meal is basically divided into 2 options. You can do two course of unlimited pasta and anitpasta. Then there’s the 3 courses with unlimited pasta and antipasta and an entree. We took option 2. Especially since none of us was paying for it, it was all on our vendor’s expense, so she went all out on us. She’s been there before and asked for a specialty demonstration, where a waiter prepares tableside, a dish made from warm, buffalo milk mozzarella with tomatoes and mushrooms. It was so interesting to watch this happen right next to you, plus it was delicious.

After that, plates of anitpasta came out: crostini, calzonette, eggplant caponata, and lamb riblets sprinkled in goat cheese. LOL. Then the pasta came out in plates. Then the main course. By this time, I thought I was stuffed, but since the portions are served with just enough for the people at the table you never really gorged on just one thing. I tasted so many food, I can hardly remember what else was there. By this time, our vendor Fran, had a friend join us around the time the fresh mozzarella was served. She works for MTV and we all talked to her about getting jobs, since ours will expire in a month or so. She gave us her card, but since she works in Sales, she said she would pass on our resumes, which was cool.

So dinner was over, we all got a cappaccino with an extra shot of Bailey’s, which I’ve never had before either and it was delicious. Then we got dessert. Which consisted of Zeppoles with a choice of caramel, lemon, and vanilla sauce for dipping and bread pudding drizzled in nutella. Dude, I was going out of my mind with this food! All of it was so delicious. There was so much food and the way the menu works, it’s about $39 per person, which is awesome for this type of cuisine. It might seem somewhat pricey, but it's worth it for a real NYC restuarant experience. Dessert is optional and an additional few bucks if you want it, but it’s definitely a place to take loved ones from out of town or really special occasions.

I am really contemplating of having my 30th birthday party there - it was that good!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

2006-07-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

Pirates of the Caribbean pulled off the sort of trick you can only really get away with once. Somehow it struck that balance between knowing send-up and rousing spectacle, and half the delight was seeing an expensive studio product transcend its unpromising theme-park origins before our eyes, with a wink, a nudge and a hearty "ha-haaar!" You knew then the second time around, it was never going to be plain sailing. As so, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is one of those rare sequels of a trilogy based film, which not only surpassed the original, but gave you hope that the next and final installment will be even better or at the least just as good. It's one hell of a ride!

If you’re not a fan of the series I suggest you check out POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl, right before you watch this movie, because there are things in Dead Man’s Chest that are direct carryovers and there are hints that were dropped in it that will have you kinda lost if you haven’t seen the original.

Dead Man’s Chest opens what looks like a few months after The Curse of the Black Pearl, Will and Elizabeth are about to get married when they are arrested for treason against the government and conspiring with a known criminal, Captain Jack Sparrow. This sparks the adventure when Will is asked to bring back Jack’s non-working compass in exchange for his and Elizabeth’s freedom. Meanwhile, Captain Jack is eagerly trying to find a key of some important significance, which none of his crew is aware is the key to the chest owned by Davey Jones. While Will is on his mission to find Jack and retrieve the compass, Elizabeth is set on her mission as well. The fun begins here as each character (Jack, Will and Elizabeth) has an individual storyline basically, to flesh out the rest of the film. Similar to that of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, where we follow the three distinctive groups during that installment and waiting for them to inevitably meet up. This style of storytelling is interesting and hard one to pull of, because there’s so much going on, but you know that one point, they all have to meet. But oh my god, the amount of stuff in this movie: there's a key to acquire, a chest to find, a magic compass, an island of cannibals, a voodoo fortune teller, a 3-way sword fight on a moving wheel, some signed letters, a mythical sea beast, and more. Added to which, virtually everyone from the first movie reappears at some stage, which can get mighty confusing after a few years of not seeing the first one. They'd have done well to provide a "previously on Pirates of the Caribbean" prologue, for those who weren’t nuts about the first film.

One minor thing, the film does require an awful lot of momentum-gathering to get to a good pacing. It takes awhile to get all the narrative plates spinning, but things fall into place once the real villain of the piece comes to light. Davey Jones, (played by an almost unrecognizable Bill Nighy) and his crew are to this film what Jack was to its predecessor. They're like a bad acid trip. They sail in a living wreck and have bodies composed of aquatic lifeforms: one has the head of a hammerhead shark, another has cheeks like a pufferfish, and Jones himself has a giant lobster claw for a hand, and a wonderfully slimy octopus head with a beard of tentacles. It's a triumph of special effects that this cephalopod creation is both unnervingly freakish, yet unmistakably Bill Nighy. They’re a wonderful addition to cast and actually had more life to them then the skeleton crew of the Black Pearl did.

From a serious geek perspective, after flirting with Looney Tunes comedy, Hollywood pastiche (Orlando Bloom's Errol Flynn moment on the mast), Peter Jackson-style grandiosity, and seafront pantomime, it eventually becomes clear what course the Pirates franchise has really plotted: a packed universe of characters; epic action; strange lands; freakish monsters; and a curiously sexless central couple. (I mean this is a Disney flick and all.) This isn't an updated swashbuckler, it's almost a backdated Star Wars. The comparisons are too plentiful to put down to just mere coincidence. Not only does the narrative arc parallel that of the Empire Strikes Back, but virtually every character here has a Star Wars equivalent. Ragetti and Pintel are the substitutes for R2D2 and C3PO, commenting from the sidelines, while Naomie Harris's Tia Dalhma, as a swamp-dwelling prophetess is a Yoda surrogate. Unfortunately, the Star Wars connection applies to Orlando Bloom, too. He's a Mark Hamill in the making. He's simply too boyish to conjure any sort of heroic authority. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if Keira Knightley turned out to be his sister, and there are hints that Depp's Jack Sparrow has the potential to do a Han Solo. Not to mention the Empire Strikes Back of an ending, where our heroes have to rescue on their own from uncertain outcome.

A new Star Wars - or perhaps Sta-haarrr Wars - is exactly what the movie world wants, and possibly needs, and Pirates is now more primed than any other to step into the breach. It happened with the Lord of the Rings, it could likely happen again in this decade with the Pirates franchise. Unlike other recent contenders, such as The Matrix, Pirates knows its mythology is pure gold. Where others have imploded in their own pompous and obnoxious storytelling, Pirates' self-awareness sees it through. There's enough invention and energy in this movie to make you want to see the next installment.

I frikkin’ loved this film from the very, beginning. It was tons of fun and made of everything a summer movie should be. I felt it was better than the original in scope, style and character development. One slight touch of a character driven piece, was when Will and Elizabeth were arrested and they read the name of the other fugitive, they both chimed in to correct the British envoy, with saying Jack’s name correctly as stating him as “Captain”. That put a smile on my face. The producers also made sure that this was a Captain Jack Sparrow movie indeed. This is Johnny Depp’s baby and you know it from the zeal he’s putting into it. And it was all about the Krakken. This was a serious piece of CGI, because it was so highly detailed and creepy with it’s 100-foot tentacles. Then there’s was that “whoa” of ending. I won’t spoil it, but like I said, go back to the first movie and you'll see what I mean.

I for one can’t wait until World’s End (tentatively title to number 3) and I won’t have to wait 3 years for it like last time. Next May cannot come fast enough.

My Colombian Breakfast

2006-07-20T10:06:00.000-04:00

This morning, while in the mailroom with the guys, the man who heads up the runners for the interoffice mail systems, Ivan, brought breakfast for everyone - Colombian empanadas. I've had never had Colombian empanadas so I decided to give it a try. OMG. They were so good. Ivan even brought along a bottle of pique sauce. This just enhanced the flavor. This thing had some divine pork inside it, which was so flavorful and juicy. I had two of them and they hit the spot.

He said he would bring more in tomorrow. So I can have another Colombian breakfast.

I can't wait!

Today

2006-07-16T20:00:00.000-04:00

Today, I decided to start cleaning out my 3rd room in preparation of Baby Boys arrival this week. I never knew how much crap I had. I mean I knew, but I didn't really know. LOL. If that made any sense. Travis and I used it as basically a storage room. Anyway, I went through boxes of crap that I've just nomadically kept with me since I lived in Bed Sty and before I left college. So this stuff has gone with me from my childhood home and my last 2 apartments.
There was a box of VHS tapes that I took an inventory of that need to be purchased on DVD, a slew of Anime that needs to be purchased on DVD, then there was just crap that I had left over from my last relationship. It's been 3 and half years since it's been over and I am just now getting rid of stuff accumulated since then. Needless to say it was very theraputic, old memories aside. Just to throw away things that I've kept for so long felt good. It put things behind me. (I am in Love's Basement.) LOL. So I consolidated boxes, threw tons of things away and now I am able to fix the closets and correctly store things, so Baby Boy can have a place to sleep for the next two months. I can't bring myself to toss a box of old toys I have though. Those I'll never ever part with no matter what you say. There's some great treasures in there. Some of which, if I decide to sell one day will bail me out of whatever financial bind I am in.

There are few more things I have to decided on, but other than that everything just has to be stored some or thrown away. Some stuff I am gonna sell on ebay or at the stoop sale in September my block is having. So that'll be fun.

Now I am just hungry and dusty. It was so hot today too and it didn't make it better. As of now, I am done for the day and I've ordered food. Now I am going to sit down, pig out and watch some all time favorites - Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dreamwarriors and then Part 4: Dream Master. Hot Damn!!!

Siren Music Festival@Coney Island

2006-07-15T18:43:00.000-04:00

Today, a few co-workers and myself headed out to Coney Island to check out the Siren Music Fest. I've never been and the guys at work said that I would love and that they go every year. (Plus it's free.) We got there and I sure did love it. The bands that I saw were great, wierdly named,(like Deadboy and the Elephantmen or Dirty On Purpose) but great. I got there around 1:00 (Coney Island is like in my backyard, since it's so close to where I live), so I knew I was going to be spending alot of time there. At 1:30 everyone met up, unfortunately Orlando was a no-show without even a phone call, but Tommy and Meki were with me and we had a blast. My favorite band of the day was Priestess. They're a metal band, and I'm not too into metal, but they were good enough. They rocked out hard and the drummer had this ill solo towards the end of a song, that lasted at least 5 minutes. After the band played, we danced a little to intermission music they were playing. We saw this kid with a Priestess CD, we asked him where it was and headed to the Tower Records booth, we got the CD and one of the workers said if we wait around, the band was coming over to sign CDs. So I met the band, got some pictures. Got my CD signed and had a utter-fucking blast!

Then we went to play miniature golf, while another band called Man Man played next to the course. We danced. I messed up several times, since it was my first time playing, but I did aiight. I had a candied apple. Tommy won. Then it got cloudy and the rain was coming in. Tommy and I since we were country bumpkins, couldn't smell the rain prematurely, because we were next to the ocean. LOL. So we didn't know when to leave. We left just in the nick of time. We ran towards Nathan's, but that place was packed, so we went down the block. Nathan's smelled good, but it was too packed so we grabbed some corn dogs at another stand. Scarfed down those. The rain got worse, so we all ran to the train station down the block and all went our separate ways. I had so much, that I will definitely go back next year! Hopefully, the weather will be better.

Tommy, Me and Priestess (Vince, Mike, Dan, and Mikey)

Deconstructive Thoughts vs. The Cosmos

2006-07-13T09:52:00.000-04:00

Have you ever questioned the universe?
Like really questioned the universe on what exactly the fucking plan is for you?
Have you ever really thought about what this life currently has in store for you and what it’s all about?

I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I am certain I am not the only one who does it. Just thinking about how events have shaped and influenced my life, where I’ve ended up and just many hours of introspective thinking. So much so, that it's been affecting many facets of my life. I just sit up late and think and think and think some more and sometimes I try to figure what's going on with me. I just don't know what's going on with me anymore. I get angry and resentful at everything and I try and I try to get a grip on things, but they seem to be beyond my control, but what I've been finding out is that negative thinking like this, where I am blame other factors is not healthy for me. There are just things that are seriously wrong with me. See there I go with the negative thinking again. Most of it is rooted in fear. I'm afraid of alot of things these days it seems and I know that most of it has to do with this undeniable fear of change. I hate change, only because I've never really known stability in my life. Even though what's changing is for the better, I am still afraid of moving forward on certain things and I know I have to. I don't feel ready. I don't feel at ease with the changes coming up in my life. It's all a process and it feels like I've been on this whole soul searching kick for a few years now and I have made some progress, but not enough to get me out of this funk I've been in. I also get easily sidetracked. The one thing that makes me happy, I find the hardest thing to do lately. I feel like I've been put in the middle of the ocean, in a one-man boat, and told to get to shore the best way I know how and without a paddle.

What I am saying is that, I know what I want, where I want to be, but have no idea just how to do or get there. I am at a loss for answers and all I do is search for them. I feel so lost and confused most of the time. I am questioning the greater world or that universe that I spoke about. I am putting myself out there one step at a time, but I am so afraid of it all. I've been living in my basement so to speak. (Thanks for the enlightenment Travis.) I'd be contempt in living in my little D-verse (Dré universe), but I know that's not practical and just another form of escapism I so love to do. It's just very hard to focus lately and get through certain circumstances that make up my life. I have to be perseverant though. I need to. I don't want to give up, but when that option seems to be much easier and so familiar to me, I tend to walk that road alot. I wanna run away, but I don't know where I'd go. Besides, where would I put all my shit?

I have so much to work on and yet so much to gain. I am unclear on what my outcome will be. I don't want this to be another set back for me, but the more I look at it, I feel that much more lackluster.

I am trying....I am so trying to keep a smile on my face and my head in the clouds. It's just tough. I have always had this weird underlying feeling that I'll ever measure up. It creeps in the back of mind all the time. I've admitted to myself that and I try to keep up with the people around me, to duplicate what they do and I am beginning to understand that I can't. I just have to be me and go at my own pace. (Thanks again Travis.)

But now that I got that all off my chest, I feel better.

Movie Review: Superman Returns

2006-07-10T12:44:00.000-04:00

Back in 1978, Superman had become uncool and was relegated to Saturday morning cartoons in the SuperFriends. Making an epic film about a comic book character – with the memories of the campy TV Batman were still fresh – was a gamble and very, chancy. However, that gutsy move worked and Superman was back in everyone’s hearts. Superman 1 and 2 were made back-to-back, with original director Richard Donner shooting. Even though years later, when I could give a damn, I heard most of Donner’s II footage was later scrapped, yet that didn’t stop II from being that rare superior sequel.

Now Superman Returns had a long path to the big screen. After the Christopher Reeve series farted out, first with III, then IV was absolutely horrible. Can we say Nuclear Man? In both, Gene Hackman is fantastic. (Although he couldn’t save IV: The Quest for Peace. (Nuclear Man – Arrggghhh!!!!) He’s still the perfect Lex Luthor, Supe’s archenemy. We can honestly say the superhero movie genre died with the 4th Superman movie, but then add in the ill-fated Supergirl movie to the mix and you can say that assisted in the destruction. Then Tim Burton’s Batman came along in 1989 and juiced the superhero genre once more. Then Spider-Man. Batman Began again with renewed interest. And don’t forget that the X-Men movies were beasts too. So us geeks were doing well. Then Bryan Singer, who had helmed the first two X films and was lined up to do this year’s Last Stand, (which I still have wet dreams about if he did) but when Superman continued its crooked path to the screen and finally bent his way, he left Professor X for Clark Kent to film a Superman movie 19 years in the making. That’s a big burden to carry.

After seeing it, many will argue that Superman Returns isn’t as good as the 1978 Superman – or its superior sequel, II – but that’s just our fan boys screaming at the top of our lungs or old school fan boys who the original movies inspired so much to them and still holds a special place in their hearts. Superman Returns is not only a nod to those original movies, but it’s also a new Superman that can inspire a new generation of superhero dreams and was it pretty fucking awesome to boot. It’s certainly the best movie of the summer I've seen so far and one of the best movies I've seen awhile.

The plot was fairly simple. Lex Luthor with female lackey Ms.Tessmacher in tow, leaves a mansion after getting (and “assisting”) a wealthy woman to leave all her money to him. He jumps on a huge boat and heads straight for a mysterious place in the frozen north.Meanwhile, Lois Lane is a single mom of a five-year-old boy just days away from accepting her Pulitzer Prize for an article she wrote called “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” After all, he hasn’t been seen for five years. When Superman saves Lois and a planeload of other journalists during a crash, sparks are rekindled. But she’s tied to nice guy Richard. At the same time Clark Kent, returns to his job at the Daily Planet with buddy photographer Jimmy Olsen and editor Perry White. Somewhere in the arctic region where the Kryptonian learned all his vast knowledge via crystals recorded by his dad, Jor El – Luthor finds what he needs for his plan and it pays off big time. He figures out a way to not only become rich and powerful, but also destroy billions of people in the process. (Evil..oooohhhhh)

This is an excellent fucking movie. Bryan Singer is a genius behind the camera. He has a way of humanizing superheroes so there not so out of touch with the non-comic book nerd. With him also doing the screenplay writing, there’s a lot about this film that works. From the opening credits, which was a throwback to the originals, down to the same score, and even the characterizations were all nailed in this one. Singer’s choice for going with an unknown actor was a bold and great move. Brandon Routh, who looks a lot like Reeve, is fine as Superman. His mannerisms and actions fit the role. Frank Langella, is a great Perry White and even gets to utter the classic “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” line, but I felt he was a tad bit underutilized. Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor was very interesting. Hackman was good, but Spacey brought a real touch his Luthor who’s maniacal and a fuckin genius. Spacey however, I felt is not utilized enough either. While Hackman was given plenty of freedom to set Luthor free over the course of 4 movies, Spacey (and Posey) is too limited here. Maybe a planned second film will grant Spacey the room he’d so well deserve and work with. Even though, she made the role her own, I couldn’t help but think Kate Bosworth isn’t nearly the feisty foe for Clark Kent Margot Kidder was. She’s surprisingly bland.

Singer however goes out of his way to put his mark on the movie, focusing what many will hate is too much time in non-action scenes between Routh and Bosworth and I felt it only dragged in those sections where these two begin to get reacquainted. Singer’s best usage of Superman’s return comes when Superman sticks his head inside the fuselage after the plane incident. The look of how impressed the women are is funny and that humor is doubled when they are suddenly downtrodden and a bit jealous when his gaze goes only to Lois. Priceless. That’s great characterization there. One interesting debate could be that no film in recent memory has focused so sharply on a hero being a Christ-like figure. Superman’s called the light of the world, he came mysteriously from the heavens, returns from the dead, and in the movie he’s even called a “savior.” Discuss amongst yourselves.

The special effects in Superman Returns has some of the best special effects I’ve seen in movies. I often thought Reeves looked really stiff in flight. Routh does well with the flying scenes, down to the way he moves was on point for Superman. The cape wasn’t being pulled by wires, so everything felt organic and real against the wind, which gave it a large sense of realism to Supes dynamic. The plane incident is remarkable and realistic. My favorite scene has to be when the Superman held-up the fallen Daily Planet globe from crashing. The homo in me screamed, because Routh looks absolutely amazing and seriously hot in the costumed. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. Muscles. Check. Super bulge. Check. Okay and we’re good. It was an awesome sight to behold.

No here’s the geek in me. Superman Returns is a great movie, if it only Singer didn’t rewrite Superman canon in both the films and in the books.

Superman Returns is set 5 years after he left Earth after astronomers found what appeared to be the remains of Krypton. I am sorry Krypton was 1,000 years away from Earth and in another galaxy. We were shown that in the opening credits. The last time I checked astronomers could barely make out the large mass of shit behind Pluto. Hell they don’t even know if Pluto is a planet anymore. So I need to know what telescope was used for this shit. I guess there’s a whole different level of technology being used here. As we can see from the Trans Continental flight using Space Shuttle affixed-technology to propel the normal jet faster than normal. (Go figure.)

Also squeezing this a movie set between the events of Superman II and III wasn’t the brightest move, unless he plans on re-writing the movie history and having us completely disregarding the other movies. What do we have to look forward to, Richard Pryor?!

This movie challenged the fans of Superman for everything we know of him. It challenged what we know and have come to learn of the Man of Steel. So far he’s a Superman, and from the movie, a super peeping tom and a super cock blocker. Not the Boy Scout we know and not so clean cut. This movie might be a well and perfect for the non-fans, but who will ultimately make or break box office bank – the fans. It’s the fans that will scream “Come one superbaby?!” Yup that’s right, the little boy in the movie is none other than Lois and Superman’s baby, whom she lied to Richard about it being his. (When they had sex, we’ll never know.) I guess that would a be logical step in Lois and Superman’s relationship, but being that it’s never happened in the books for over 70 years, I was a little shocked that it happened here. Will it carry over into the books? Who knows? When the tv show, Lois and Clark: New Adventures of Superman was on, the characters on the show got married and this prompted DC to make that a reality in the books. Could it happen again? I don’t know. However, we can add super baby’s daddy to the list. No matter the changes, somehow I was okay with them. The introduction of Perry's son Richard, who is played by ubercute James Marsden, is an interesting card to play. Also he was more utilized here than any X-Men film to date. I’m interested to see where this new dynamic can go. It was funny watching Lois Lane married to Cyclops.

All in all, I was thoroughly entertained by Superman Returns. It was an awesome movie. It’s not mind-boggling great, but it’s a very solid, exceptionally well-made movie. I would highly recommend the film to Superman fans and non-fans alike. This will definitely re-ignite the franchise as Batman Begins did. However, before we get sequel after sequel, can we get a team up movie: Superman and Batman, which I hear has been in the works for like ever.

The 4th July as Therapy?!

2006-07-05T13:43:00.000-04:00

This was an odd 4th of July for me. Before you start saying, “Dré what happened now?” – let me explain. It wasn’t odd in the sense of something bad, just odd being different. I’ve never really experienced an ID4 such as this.

Usually, this time of the year I spend watching the fireworks somewhere. Whether it’s downtown Brooklyn, by the Promenade, on the Brooklyn Bridge, on tv or in the city at the South Street Seaport I am watching them. This year, Travis gets invited to watch the fireworks display at his friend’s apartment, which happens to be writer, James Early Hardy. I didn’t have a problem with it, I thought it would be fun, so I agreed.

Travis and I are late getting out there because I was getting my ass handed to me all morning playing The Matrix: Path of Neo and then he and I finished playing Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows. So yeah – the event started at 7:30, we didn’t get to the train until then. We however, got there in the nick of time before the fireworks, to settle in, get some drinks and socialize. We get there and the room is filled with several other African-American gay men. We size up the room very quickly and head for the terrace. Outside, I take in the air and the sights, given we were on the 16th floor of a Gramercy Park apartment. I got a really great shot of the Empire State Building (the budding photographer in me did rather) at dusk. So we sat outside and waited for the fireworks. During that time, I took in my environment to realize that I was stuck in some weird gay, black time warp. When we walked into the apartment I realized there was some old-school Oprah playing, not the 20th Anniversary DVD collection she just released, but an actual VHS tape of an episode with Patti LaBelle and Dionne Warrick from like the late 80s or early 90s. That was one. There was also the 80’s R&B pop music: Rebbie Jackson, Stacey Lattisaw, Shelia E, etc. Two. And of course there was the kind of guy that was there: older, black, fashionable and definitely gay. I felt slightly out of place there, I didn’t know why, but I tried to make the best of it. Travis knew most of the people there and was a social butterfly as usual, as for me, not so much which is rare, because I can have fun at an insurance seminar. Some how, some where I think Travis picked up on that feeling and turns to me and let’s me knows that “he just figured me out” and that “he gets me now” and ending with he felt like “he just met me for the first time”. I’ll explain that later in another post.

After a brief waiting period, the fireworks started. We had a good spot for it, right by the water, off of 1st Avenue. The fireworks were awesome as always and just from the conversations, I picked up, a few people including Travis had never seen the fireworks this close up before, so he had a great time. It was getting late, I was slightly tired from my insomniac episode the night before and plus we had to both work the next day. We said our good byes and started to troop back to the train. On the way back we had this crazy conversation about life, how we relate to it and others in our lives, and just being who we are in general. Travis and I are both at parts in our lives where things are beginning to shape and form and hopefully not being so out of control. He lent me a book of his from Iyanla Vanzant, which I am looking forward to reading and hopefully getting clearer thoughts and just clear on what the universe holds for me. It’s time for changes in both our lives, more so me than anyone. There are a lot of things I need to work on, change, reshape, let go and just move away from. Change is in the air now and I’m looking forward to it.

So what was odd about the night? One would never have thought that from a small gathering such as this, that life altering conversations would occur. You never think about that type of stuff celebrating the 4th of July. It’s funny how fireworks bring that in people. I'll definitely remember it. This night put a lot of things into perspective for me.

The Flash: Fastest Man Alive #1

2006-06-28T19:13:00.000-04:00

Beware: Insane Geek Moment About To Occur

This has to be the coolest book I've read in a very long time. Just keep in mind, I just started reading DC for the first time since I was kid about 3 years ago. Ever since then, I've been hooked on classic characters like Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, the JLA and everyone. The Flash has always been kind of kooky to me, because he wasn't taken seriously as a hero, because he could just run fast, but in recent years his powers have evolved from just speed, to using speed as a means to do other things. I actually like and followed Bart Allen more. He's the basically the junior Flash from the Young Justice books and then he moved on to the Teen Titans. He could do more with his powers.

Just recently, during DC's big summer event, Infinite Crisis, the current Flash, Wally West disappeared into the Speed Force, along with Kid Flash, Bart Allen, as they tried to stop Superboy-Prime from killing everyone by sending him into the Speed Force. Subsequently, everyone thought that all of the Flashes had disappeared and the Speed Force was gone. Nope. A Flash re-emerged and it turned out to be Bart aka Kid Flash, who aged 4 years, but after the battle with Superboy-Prime, was depowered and no longer able to access the Speed Force. Bart officially retired from the superhero life. Until now.

The new Flash series jumps one year later as all of the DC titles did after Infinite Crisis was over. Jay Garrick, the original Flash is now the Fastest Man Alive, however without the Speed Force, he can barely keep up, since Jay is in his sixities. Bart is now working at Keystone City Motors as a car assemblyman. Bart's trying to live a regular life and ignore his superhero past, until an accident happens and his friend is hurt. Bart, unexpedidly tapped into the Speed Force and got his friend out, but Jay also get to the scene and sees Bart crackling with energy. Jay automatically sees that Bart has been lying for months about being depowered and wants to discuss what's going on. Bart dismisses his questions. Then thinks to himself, that the Speed Force should never be tapped again or it just might kill him. See...cool!

Fuckin' A! The Flash is going to be the coolest book for me.

Gay Pride '06

2006-06-26T17:13:00.000-04:00

Today marked my 10th Pride Parade. I’ve been going, celebrating my life, community and the heritage of the Gay community for a decade now and I feel just as proud as I did when I went to my first one. This year was a little different because it rained off and on, but the turnout was no less than the previous years. Needless to say this will be the Pride I remember the most now.

As it went, the roomie and I got there about 2:30 to a not so crowded area yet, but there were still people out in force. We got to the usual spot at the corner of Christopher and Bedford. We had a good spot and saw what we could of the parade walkers and the floats. Then I got the call from Javi, so I went to meet him. At the same time, Uptown called and he was in the area, so I told both of them to meet me in the same spot. I got there, then Adorable David appeared. Then we headed back to the corner where I left the roomie. When we got back, the roomie was clearly having a wonderful time by himself. He was so full of life and pride that I was happy he came out with me. With all that he’s going through lately, I wanted him to enjoy himself for once. We stayed for a little longer, until the hunger got to us so we trekked over to Uno’s. We had a blast there. It was Travis’ turn to grill David and he got a light treatment in the question department. However, we did laugh at some of the notable and often hilarious times we’ve had at some of the parties at Calle Sequenta y Seis. The rain let up and we headed back to the parade route.

We proceeded to the festival area and the parade was finishing up by this time. We walked south for a little, away from Christopher. We got to a point where there was a drag queen promoting a club out in the BX and we stood there and danced a little. Then the Houses got into their battles, which for the life of me I don’t get into that scene, but it was fun to watch homos flail around, twirl and fall to the floor. We quickly left the area, only to find my roommate being a hit at the parade, because he saw people that hew knew and was having a great time, and again, I was happy that he was. I also took pictures of boys, which is always great. I also saw my boy Emilio, who I also haven’t seen a long time. We walked up towards Christopher for the pier. Of course the area is packed with homos and the police are treating everyone like cattle. I hope they got paid time and half for this parade. It was a lot people to play crowd control. We fell in love with Officer Diaz, one of the many cops playing people traffic cop. We get to the pier and realize just how many gay people are in this city. I know a small percentage is out-of-towners, but still the homos are a serious group of people in this town. It’s amazing we could all fit in it. We get to the pier and walk around for a little. Rest. Check out more people. Girls and guys alike. Then we head back up Christopher Street. It’s close to about 8PM now. David and Javi say their good-byes. I saw this guy I had a crush on, who clearly doesn’t have a clue I’ve had a crush on for the longest. We kinda just gave each other a pound, said what's up and he bounced to meet his people. Then the remainder of us decides to stick around some more and chill up the street. We boy gaze a little longer and I see my friend Frankie. He tells me to meet up with him at the Hanger when I am done. The suggestion was duly noted and after another 20 minutes or so we head to the Hanger. There’s a line to get in and a $5 cover. Uptown and I could really go for a drink. Travis was pooped from Pride and decided to go home. Once we parted ways, we headed inside. We found the bathroom really quickly first and waiting online this really cute white boy named Rob started kicking it to Uptown. As it turns out he was part of Frankie’s crew of hot, roving men of Pride. We group up laugh drink and get out of The Hangar since, the entire original cast of Gay, I think Sister Sledge was playing in the backgroun and it was hot as hell inside, so we all headed outside and go towards the Pier again.

Outside we ran into Euly. A little further up, I saw Kenny too, who I haven’t seen in a few months. Then proceeded to head up to the Pier. We get there and have an awesome time. Watched the fireworks. Uptown and I had a conversation about dating/meeting guys, which was interesting. We both realize that we have bad luck in the area. And I just hung out with some really attractive men, so I felt good after awhile. After a while, the pier started to close and we were being shuffled through. As we’re trying to exit, I bump into a guy in the process – I turn around and it’s The First. Yeah kids, The First. The first boyfriend I ever had who I haven’t seen in years was standing next to me. It was really nice to see him. He gave me a hug, asked me how I was doing and he was with friends and so was I, so we really couldn’t stop to chit chat. Uptown asked who that was and I told him. He goes “wow” and I couldn’t agree more. He looked damn good. Then I don’t know what hit me, but all of a sudden I missed him. It was really odd, but that man was my former everything for three years of my young gay life way back when. He was the first and only thing I knew about love. So I guess the feeling of nostalgia hit me hard and I was limping for a hot minute afterwards.

We get further down the street and the barricades are still up, so it makes it so difficult to navigate through the streets. We find an opening and rest for a minute. Uptown and myself are getting tired, but everyone else wants to go another bar down in Chelsea. We say nope and head in the other direction. We giggle at people some more. Talk about how fat and ugly we are and how we got looks today, but no one talked to us. Then we all agree that we’re like the only gays guys who never meet/get numbers/hook up with anyone during Pride. We chuckled some more. I look at my watch and it’s going on midnight. Uptown and I walk away from Frankie and the crew, and I begin to think to myself. As the gayest night of nights comes to a close, I’m left wondering what’s tomorrow going to be like. I smile at the fun I had that day and wish that everyday could be as fun.

For Travis...

2006-06-26T16:11:00.000-04:00

"All I Really Want"

by Alanis Morissette

Do I stress you out

My sweater is on backwards and inside out

And you say how appropriateI

don't want to dissect everything today

I don't mean to pick you apart you see

But I can't help it

There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off

Slap me with a splintered ruler

And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already

If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience

A way to calm the angry voice

And all I really want is deliverance

Do I wear you out

You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out

I'm consumed by the chill of solitary

I'm like EstellaI like to reel it in and then spit it out

I'm frustrated by your apathy

And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land

If only I could meet the Maker

And I am fascinated by the spiritual man

I am humbled by his humble nature

What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate

Someone else to catch this drift

And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred

Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute

Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while

The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses

Falling all around...all around

Why are you so petrified of silence

Here can you handle this?

Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines

Or when you think you're gonna die

Or did you long for the next distraction

And all I need know is intellectual intercourse

A soul to dig the hole much deeper

And I have no concept of time other than it is flying

If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace mana place to find a common ground

And all I really want is a wavelength

All I really want is some comfort

A way to get my hands untied

And all I really want is some justice...

The Father's Day I Forgot

2006-06-19T16:41:00.000-04:00

My grandfather’s cancer came back. This not only makes me worried, but it also makes me feel like the biggest asshole, because I forgot to call him for Father’s Day yesterday. I reminded myself to call him, but got so wrapped up in other meaningless shit that it completely didn’t dawn on me that I hadn’t until this morning. (Actually, it was really just me not trying to remember it was Father’s Day, because of my dislike for my own dad. Yeah I know. I need to work that out.)

I talked to my mom this afternoon and she filled me in on what’s going on. Since I would have found out yesterday, if I had called. Here am I being a loser.

My grandfather had battled with a bout of cancer a few years back. We had all thought it was gone, but it came back last week. A family consultation occurred on Friday and those don’t bode well, because it’s usually prefaced with the “you have only so long to live” phrases. As it turns out he has a few options:

1). He goes back on the chemo, which he doesn’t want because the last time there were some complications and sickness involved.

2). Take some new experimental IV drip-drug, which has a 60/40 chance of kicking the cancer back into remission. Which he’s leaning towards.

3). Ride it out. Without medication, he would live an expected 2 more years.

This wasn’t news that sat well with me, but my grandfather’s pushing 80 and things like this are a reality for some men his age. I am not sad and I didn’t understand why. I should be sad, I shouldn’t want to talk about this, but I just don’t want him to suffer. I love him dearly and there are certain characteristics that I have from him, which I often remark as being just like him, I don't want to see him go through this, but I am okay with death or least I think I am. On top of that, my other grandfather (my father's dad) I forgot to call as well. He's been sick for a long time and he can barely remember my name half the time when I call. With all this around me, I tend not to deal with my family. On one hand I have a grandfather who I miss and who I dont see all the time, except for holidays. Then there's the other one I've never met, who doesn't really know me.

Either way, I wish I‘d called them both yesterday. I have to make up for it tonight and I’ll try not to cry while I do it.

Being on the frontline of a Civil War

2006-06-19T15:47:00.000-04:00

The Nation of Chulo is like those secret groups held by little boys in their tree houses, except there’s sex and heavy flirting involved and there's no secret decorder ring to show membership. The Nation is comprised of several single individuals or couples, depending on what day of the week it is. We’re usually taking applications for more members though. Yeah I know you’re saying to yourself, ewww, it sounds like a hostel of homos. It can be - at times. However, not all of us have gotten down with each other and it's really wontan lust. The basis of why we’re a nation is because we all have something in common and that’s his majesty – Larry. My roomie has a better snapshot of the Nation over at his blog. Larry a.k.a Chulo, is the root or in this case, the tree holding the secret club house up. So what happens when a civil war in the nation erupts and that tree is rocked or becomes broken? You’d get what happened last week.

You see the Nation of Chulo’s main thing is that we’re a tight knit group. We have great times and sometimes they can be wild, but not all of us are like that. My roommate for example is one such innocent. As for me, well, as one of the council of elders, I’ve had my experience with a few members of the Nation and not at all innocent. I’ve been there since its inception, so that’s a given. It doesn't excuse my behavior, but hey things happen.

Last week, history was made in the Nation of Chulo, which is sometimes fraught with “oh no he didn’ts” and they are easily dismissed. However this time around, a huge bomb was dropped that rocked the foundation. Yes again, I’ll point you to my roommate’s blog and Larry’s blog about the whole thing. It wasn’t pretty and it led to some odd emotional outpouring from various denizens (Principio and MSD in particular) including the creator himself. Needless to say Larry’s trips are never really this crazy, but sometimes they have cosmic like ripple effects, ones that I usually cause myself, to reverberate through everyone in close proximity. (God that was so Star Treky.) Being on the frontline of this was insane, because the people involved are close to me, well not MSD. I don’t know him too well, only that he works stock at a bodega somewhere in Long Island and has caused a series of battles on the Nation’s shores before.

So after the huge homo-bomb was dropped last week in the Nation of Chulo, and civil war erupted, what’s the damage look like? Not bad at all really.

Here I’m thinking this event could have had serious repercussions on the Nation, but it really didn’t. After the smoke cleared, it really showed that MSD now could read and Larry’s blog is his favorite thing and one thing he didn’t know existed. Then we have Principio and Larry’s relationship reaching a new height in which they both can’t reach a suitable agreement on (again!). It seems like everything is back to normal or until Larry comes back to NYC.

Therein lies the lesson.

It appears that no matter what happens in the Nation, nothing has serious consequences, which could lead to more trouble. On the frontline again, I felt this whole thing was an experiment in emotional terror and the evils of long distance relationships. For the most part, this explosion was the result of emotional tension between Principio and Chulo over the last several months or maybe even a year. Can two people who care about each other so much be willing to compromise certain things to be with the other, like moving, etc.? Doesn’t seem likely here regardless of the circumstances here. One of the most obvious thing you can gleam from this is how each of them hurts each other by continuing an on again off again intimate relationship, while continuing to see/meet other people and not having a clearly defined status of their relationship. Is this feasible? Who knows? It works for them. Let's call this the Lake House Effect. Personally, I would think it’s hard to see someone I care about, mention, talk or even introduce me to the person they’ve been with or want to get with. Maybe it’s just me, but it sounds warped. However, if there wasn’t an intimate relationship still present, I can see it, but in this case it seems rather tortuous. Go figure. Although, as it appears, the lines of communication are sustained and not too much damage has been wreaked.

Ultimately, the parties involved have gone back to their respective corners hopefully with a clearer understanding of people, relationships, and general consideration of feelings. It seems like things are normal on the shores of the Nation. Cleanup has occurred. One can only hope that there was lessons learned from this, some maturity has happened and that I for one don’t want to be anyone’s fuck buddy. =)

Heartfelt

2006-06-13T15:03:00.000-04:00

PRIDE Month started with a bang – literally. Kevin Aviance was beaten by a group of young men this week, which brings a dark, cloud over this month’s festivities of Gay Pride. This is usually a month were we are all rejoicing and celebrating as a community and now we have to worry about hatred lashing out at us at every turn. It is extremely sad and a bit worrisome that this is still happening especially, he was not in drag while it happened and in a gay-friendly neighborhood. This just proves that no one is really safe.

I believe in my heart that this attack was not sudden or random, but it was fully premeditated and those boys should be punished to the fullest extent of the law for this.

This month we should be especially proud of who we are and let everyone know that we won’t accept or tolerate treatment like this. We have to also take in consideration that bigotry and anger towards the GLBT community, especially in a place like New York, is still prevalent from this. It is reported that around the same time that another group of gay men were attacked in Astoria, Queens. It's really a shame. However, we shouldn't hide from this either.

As for Kevin Aviance, I pray that you have a speedy recovery and I hope you keep your spirits up and bless us with your presence at this year’s Gay Pride Parade.

So please everyone, be cautious right now especially given what month it is. I hate to say it, but we’ve become targets for evil. Just be careful and aware of your surroundings and yourself. Protect yourself if you can. Stand up.

Be happy, be safe, be blessed and be proud.

About Last Night...Dave and Buster's

2006-06-13T12:50:00.000-04:00

So last night I expected to spend a quiet night at home given that the rest of the week would be crazed to a few things going on. Instead I ended up going out to Dave and Buster's in Times Square to chill with BabyBoy, the King of Spain, Javi and his new guy David.

I quickly change out of my chill clothes and throw on gear for an evening out in the city, grabbed my Nextel and my iPod and continued to the train station. It’s about 9:30 now and I’m waiting for the train. I have been on a serious Prince kick in the last couple of days, because I realized that I am so lax when it comes to his music in my iPod. So I wanted to listen to some old joints. When I pull out my iPod, it slipped from its case and I went to go grab it. However, instincts told me that since I was close to the edge of the track, if I hit it’ll go over and I’d never get it then, so I let it drop to the platform. The screen was weird, stuck between transitions and it wouldn’t shut off. I cursed and screamed, stuck it in my pocket, called and complained to my roommate about it and continued to head towards the city hoping that the night would end up better than it started.

I get to Dave and Busters and the gang’s all there, including lil’ Tito, who I haven’t seen in a hot minute and he brought this hottie with him named Henry, who was absolutely fucking beautiful and absolutely fucking 20 years old. I sighed as he introduced himself. I put it out of my head - he was too young for me. =) Tito and Henry didn’t stay too long, so after they left we headed upstairs to D&B’s. I get upstairs and thought about how much money to put on the D&B game card and dropped about 27 bucks. I played the Monopoly game and won like over a thousand tickets in like 30 minutes. We got hungry and thirsty, I had a huge bucket of beer in a mug I could hardly lift, but the more I drank the lighter the cup got. =P D&B’s is a fun place, but do not go there expecting not to spend money on not only food and drinks, but games too.

After laughs and merriment, drinking, eating and me completely interrogating David (he’s so adorable) with really stupid questions, we decided to play some more and win more tickets. By the end of the night I had about 1300+ tickets. We had a hard time figuring out what to get and then ended up with bringing home Care Bears. I had a really good time and good times was had by all. Javi and I made plans to hang out during the Pride Parade at the end of the month, so that’s something to look forward to. Babyboy and I then hop on the train. I’m exhausted, but nice from the beer. I check on my iPod. Needless to say, it was stuck on one screen for a few hours until the battery finally ran down and then it cut off. I tried it again and now its just got the apple symbol on it that won’t go away. I think my iPod is done kids. I am pissed, because I love my iPod, I am never without, but the real kick in the balls is I can’t afford another one. I don’t believe I renewed my warranty so I am up shit’s creek without a paddle. I put it back in my pocket. Cuddle with my new Care Bear and took a nap until we got home.

So we stumble in around 2:30, I stayed up for a few and eventually passed out at 3:00am, knowing full well I had to be at work that very morning at 8:30, which I hardly ever do anymore, but I got up and got to work before 9. And sadly, no iPod in tow.

Movie Review: The Omen

2006-06-12T15:06:00.000-04:00

I just need to stay away from remakes. So far this summer I’ve seen two remakes of movies that I loved when I was younger: Poseidon and most recently on Friday, The Omen. I have no idea why I went to see it, oh yeah, Baby Boy’s in town and he wanted to see it. So that’s why. Either way, I was unhappy with both movies for their "remake" status. They should be called "refakes" Because these new movies pale in comparison to the gold they're spun from.

So here’s my major issue, I go into remakes hoping that they’ll be as good as the originals. What’s the sense of an updated version, if it’s not on point or least a better movie than the original. Most remakes these days just try to be visually better, since most of the remakes coming out are of movies from the late 70’s and 80’s. Newer technology = lack of storytelling. There have only been a few faithful movies that have been considered by me as great remakes in the last few years: Ocean’s Eleven, The Italian Job, The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Dawn of the Dead just to name some. The other, more dastardly remakes I usually dub “WB versions”, because they are made with younger audiences in mind, whom never ventured into video stores and got the VHS of the originals. Kids these days have no idea that some of the greatest movies of the past few decades are the originals of the horribly remade movies they’re getting now. These types of films are made with this younger audience in mind, and not for the people who’ve loved them forever. So why do we even go see them? Because we get stuck with shameful interpretations of video games, comic books, defunct television shows and other stories that have been done so many times, we can’t help, but pay homage to the movies they’ve ripped off. Then a remake comes along that makes you want to rethink it. It makes you want to believe in movies again and then you see one and it doesn't live up to the original or surpass it. The Omen is no exception.

For the most part the story remains the same, in essence. What you see on screen is something else entirely. Robert Thorn is a senior American diplomat whose wife, Katherine, endures a difficult delivery where their newborn child has died. Thorn knows the news will devastate Katherine, who had suffered two previous miscarriages. The hospital priest presents Thorn with another child born that night, whose mother died in childbirth. The priest compels Thorn to take the infant boy as his own; Katherine will never know the truth, and their son, which they name Damien, will be raised as their flesh and blood. As the child turns five, unsettling events begin to occur: Damien's nanny hangs herself at the youngster's birthday party; a strange priest brings dire warnings to Thorn; a children's trip to the zoo results in a panicked frenzy; Damien becomes hysterical during a drive to church; and blurred movements in a series of photographs portend shocking deaths. Enter Mrs. Baylock, Damien's new nanny, who seems to have a preordained devotion to the child. Then tragedy strikes closer to home. But only later does Thorn comprehend the truth: Damien is no ordinary child; he is the long-prophesized Anti-Christ. Now, Thorn must make the ultimate sacrifice to prevent the unspeakable terror that awaits the world. [from Yahoo Movies]

The original Omen is one of those movies that that still hold up so well, there's really no need to remake them. There is nothing that modern film-making has brought to this film to make it stand out against the original. It's not as scary, not as honest or raw. The original film is genuinely disturbing -- from the dogs, to the nanny, to Damien... this modern remake just isn't as convincing. It has it's moments, but there's an annoying distance, or separation between the subject matter and the film. It's too clean, too polished... it just isn't evil enough. There's this really annoying and random demonic imagery from Nine Inch Nails music videos. Even more so, the film is riddled with terrible atonal loud punches for additional scare value. In fact, most of the “scares” were audio increases on the soundtrack – which many in the audience greeted with jumping, which is illusionary scariness. Even the deaths are not as disturbing. I left the theater utterly convinced that this movie was put together by paint-sniffing clowns.

But should we judge this film on its own merits? No we can't, because it's damn near a carbon copy remake. So where did it go wrong? I think the one of the main problems is that the studio decided to remake an “A” picture – and cast it with “C” actors in the lead roles. Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles have zero weight in these roles. Mia Farrow was spot on as Mrs. Baylock, the creepy nanny. Also, most remakes suffer from changing much of the storyline and plot advances to make it workable for a new audience. However, there is very, little new material worth mentioning to completely say this was a real departure. (Except, I wasn't happy with the Final Destination explaination they gave regarding the pictures of people and how it foretold their death.) This one suffered from being so close that it failed to reach the same level mainly due to leaving things out and adding things they shoudn't have. The only positive thing to say is that for anyone who hasn't seen the original, this new version is worth a look on DVD when it comes out. But even then I'd still recommend the original.

I think the big draw from this, is the whole "6-06-06" date its been plugging and I think in an effort to make this big marketing push, the producers fell a little short sided. Yeah the date is scaring people and generating buzz, because it's a big bad date and there's tons of shit forever surrounding Satan's pager number. However, like all remakes, there’s a sacrifice in the storytelling and they hardly pull it off well. The Omen is just another remake that doesn't go anywhere. To top it off, there was a really bad ending that made no sense at all and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Despite it all, the Omen just wasn't evil enough.

The Transformers

2006-06-09T12:03:00.000-04:00

Transformers. More than meets the eye.
Transformers. Robots in disguise.

Yeah you know the rest....

The Transformers cartoon in the 80’s single handedly changed my life when I was a child. My imagination was created, nurtured and soared based on the adventures of fantastic robots that had the ability to disguise themselves as cars, planes, weapons and other cool things. My life revolved around them up. I ran home every day from school to watch them. I taped them and re-watched them over and over again. I always played with them in my room, outside or with friends from the neighborhood. If anything I ever wanted all the time was more Transfomer toys. I pretty much had most, but not all. My mom kept up with them for me. She knew which ones I had, so she didn’t repeat anything. They were hard to find, even back then. Even when I got older, I never forgot them. Transformers: The Movie is #2 of my Top 3 movies of all time list, which I still watch to this day. I can recite every word of the movie verbatim (which was very annoying to an ex of mine whenever I watched it.) I still get goose bumps when I watch certain parts, like I was 8 years old again. You know the part? When Optimus Prime comes to the rescue in the beginning when the Decepticons attacked Autobot City, and he rolls in as the mack truck, launches into the air, transforms and starts unleashing ass whoopins to every Decepticon in his way. Fuckin A!!!

Even more so, Optimus Prime was the only role model I had. So this whole show was important to me. I have even thought of collecting them again, since they have this cool new, Alternators sub line of toys. So imagine my surprise when I found out that Jerry Bruckheimer wants to do a live action movie of my beloved Transformers, with Steven Speilberg’s ILM FX company in tow to do the CGI. I shuttered in my boots. It could be actually good. I never imagined this, but I’m interested.

As a geek and a fan of the series, I don’t watch the new incarnations that have come out during the years. I am strictly a G1 fan. G1 means “Generation 1”, which includes the characters from the original series, the 1986 movie, and the 2 seasons right after the movie in 1987. This live action Transformer movie will be an updated version of those much loved G1 characters. So as a geek, I have some reservations about it. I mean come on, it’s the Transformers - how would a live action movie come off? I was thinking kinda cheesy. I have my doubts, my fears, and my excitement, because this could be really be awesome or really terrible. It’s one of those things that you love that you hope will get the proper justice on the big screen and not have it ruined. This is one of those entities that I can only see fanbase going to see or kids who naturally love robots and cool shit like that.

One fear I do have of course is that they would change a lot to “suit the times”. Since Fast the Furious, all we get is tricked out import cars in movies. This could be one of them, but from what I saw they are using traditional and contemporary cars. One such change I've seen so far is Bumblebee, who was a Volkswagen Bettle in the cartoon. Bumblebee's car mode is now a Camaro (see below), but you know what - I am okay with this for some reason. I always felt Bumblebee got the shit end of the stick when it came to disguises. The other Autobots had cooler cars to transform into. Plus, he was one of the smallest Autobots. This is a welcome change. It’s a cool fuckin’ car. Let's hope the rest of the movie is this cool.

Wizard World Philadelphia

2006-06-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

Fuck the exposition I usually have – Philly didn’t go as well as intended. I didn’t get picked and I didn’t get an honorable mention. I know I am going to sound really hard on myself, but I really sucked, but that was a good thing. (I’ll tell you why in a minute.) If you talked to me day or so prior to Wizard World Philadelphia, I was extremely nervous, but I went in with a high expectation of my art and myself and I thought I had a legitimate chance of making it at least to a second round chance. Boy was I wrong.

Now here's the exposition...

After 30 minutes in Philly, I met this guy Anthony, who was entering the contest as well and we swapped glances at our pages. His pages totally rocked and mine, well compared to his, were the equivalent of Sunday morning funnies. (Can we say Calvin and Hobbes?) Anthony’s work was awesome and he saw the look in my face and my immediate trepidation of the whole situation. I said out loud, “I just wasted a trip.” He calmed me down and told me some really great things and he asked if I ever had any education in it, I was like “high school art classes that’s about it”. Drawing has always been a love of mine, but I never was fully educated in it – I just kind of got it. Which was always cool normally, but in this environment, a natural wasn’t going to make it. I was going up against seriously educated people, so the thought rocked my world that I wasn’t going to be good enough. He reassured me that this was internship and I have a valid reason to be here and that’s to learn. That helped, but it was really Chris Lie who really made me feel better. As it turns out Chris was the guy behind the new designs of GI Joe Sigma 6. He had some great words for me and he saw how nervous I was, he walked me over to the submission booth and watched me submit my pages. He wished me good luck and told me to stop by his panel discussion on character design. After I talked to Chris, I walked around the show. Here’s some highlights:

I saw ex-wrestlers King Kong Bundy and Virgil.

I met another artist Daniel Leister who draws the indie book The Sire. He gave me some advice.

I talked to Frank Beddor, the author of the forthcoming book The Looking Glass Wars. I met him at the NY Comic Con and was excited for his re-imaging of the Alice and Wonderland story. He remembered me, which was cool.

I saw the X-Men statue I’ve been dying for. Click Here. Scroll down the page for pictures of it.

I stopped at the Wizard booth and got some cool stuff.

I got a hero of mine, Michael Turner to sign some books of mine.

I saw a few minutes of Ultimate Avengers The Movie 2.

I got lost in Philly.

I found the gay part of town by accident.

I found the ghetto part of town intentionally. That's where my hotel was.

I had a sleazy hotel. (People were having sex in the next room.) Not in the gay part of town either. Though I wished.

I met some Hip Hop Arabics.

I saw a few landmarks. You know you're a true geek when you don't recognize something for it historical value, but from just what movie it was in. "Hey I saw that in National Treasure!"

I learned how to play Marvel Heroclix, which is now like my favorite game. (My nerd quotient shot up with that one. Dre’s into miniature wargaming yall - it’ll get ugly soon. Travis will hate me more.)

I bumped into and talked to Kevin Smith. He told me it looked like someone shot my dog.

I met artist Clayton Henry who drew my favorite book from last year, the New X-Men: Hellions mini-series. He offered some advice as well.

I was acknowledged as being a “Hot Nerd” by a bunch of girls working the convention.

I saw a sneak preview of an episode of Stephen King’s: Nightmare and Dreamscapes premiering this July on TNT.

I met some more really cool guys to geek out with about comic books and toys and learned more about Heroclix. I’m telling you, it’s going to be like Magic the Gathering all over again.

So here’s why it was good that I sucked. What Wildstorm was looking for were really talented people that didn’t need much work in the art department, just in panel work or storytelling ability. The guys who where selected were awesome and the final guy’s work blew pretty much everyone out the water. I knew I wasn’t selected when Anthony’s name wasn’t even called. I sat right behind him and he looked even shocked. I knew then I didn’t even have a snowball’s chance in hell. I sat there already knowing that I wasn’t going to make it, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I was inconsolable for about 30 minutes, but I realized good things and bad things about myself, which this show helped me overcome. I know I worked hard and stayed up late, but it’s about more than that.

I know now I need to work harder on my art. I may not be educated, but I can be. There are tons of books out there that I know of and there are even correspondence courses that I am looking into for the late summer or fall. The quality of my work has to change. I’ll just keep reading and practicing and doing my best. I even started my “Fuck You Philly” sketch last night, which I hope to share soon. I am not going to let circumstances like lack of schooling get in the way. There are other ways to tutor myself. In order for me to be good, not the best, but good – I gotta really concentrate hard and get better. I am going to try again in February with the NY Comic Con rolls around. I’ll have my portfolio ready by then and the not the folder, wrapped in a Macy’s bag this time.

Legal Day 1

2006-06-01T12:06:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don’t know, my bank was acquired several months ago by a larger, rival bank from up North. There were months and months of speculation of when layoffs would happen, well they’re finally here. Today is officially Legal Day 1 that means that it’s the first day of the merger and we are officially apart of Sovereign Bank. It also means those who were not remaining will be out of a job today and tomorrow. A lot of people I’ve come to know over the years, will be gone and probably will never see them again. It’s sad though. And it’s going to be so quiet around here than it already is. One of my co-workers has already put in her 2-week resignation. My greedy ass wants to stay and collect money, so I have to sit this out until September. (Just like black people huh? Sitting around waiting for the next circumstantial pay-day.) It’s going to be a ghost town and so will be so weird around this office in the next coming weeks. I think even one of my bosses is leaving soon and I don’t want her to go, because she has been hands down the best boss ever. I wish I could go with her at her new job.

Even though I hate change, this is one that I welcome, because this means a significant and great change for me – a change for the better.