Is it too late to write my Congressman?
Yes, I get that she’s this multi-platinum singer and she’s set and surpassed all types of records for a female contemporary music artist, but something has to be done to stop Mariah Carey from taking over the world like those aliens in Independence Day, of which I don’t think even the likes of Will Smith can save us.
Her first conquest was the internet. Mariah’s new album is called E=MC2, that’s only for the people who’ve been living under rocks or living in Pakistan these last few months. If you haven’t noticed yet, she’s strategically trying to ruin young, developing scientific minds all over the world by replacing Einstein’s Theory of Relativity with her new album name. Go ahead I dare you to look it up in Google. She’s the second result. In Yahoo, Einstein is not even suggested as a search term, she is. Junior High School science projects are now in shambles.
As my boyfriend loves to point out in nearly every conversation that has nothing to do with Mariah Carey, she’s got a new movie coming out at the end of the month, that’s premiering at the Tribecca Film Festival, which he just scored a ticket for. So not only did she have an album drop today, but she’s causing people to now drop $15 bucks to see a movie, she’s co-starring in.
To make matters even worse, MariahDaily.com, which is the equivalent of an Al Qaeda Yahoo portal, spoke about something happening in NYC in honor (aka horror) for the premiere of the movie Tennessee. Apparently, for the entire weekend of April 25th, The Empire State building will be lit in Mimi’s new album colors of Purple, Pink and White. Yeah, what the fuck?!
It is to my knowledge that Mariah has started her campaign to completely take over the world, building her army of Auto-skanks each step of the way. Her next conquest was the owners of the Empire State Building. I have never known any artist, musical or otherwise to change/enhance a monument to promote themselves. Shameless, I think not. She’s becoming a world power people and she has to be toppled.
Mariah has to be stopped now! So I’m asking, is it still too late to write my Congressman about this? Can I picket outside of the Empire State Building when it lights up? Do I have to go down on Gov. Patterson to veto this? This is ridiculous!
Her first conquest was the internet. Mariah’s new album is called E=MC2, that’s only for the people who’ve been living under rocks or living in Pakistan these last few months. If you haven’t noticed yet, she’s strategically trying to ruin young, developing scientific minds all over the world by replacing Einstein’s Theory of Relativity with her new album name. Go ahead I dare you to look it up in Google. She’s the second result. In Yahoo, Einstein is not even suggested as a search term, she is. Junior High School science projects are now in shambles.
As my boyfriend loves to point out in nearly every conversation that has nothing to do with Mariah Carey, she’s got a new movie coming out at the end of the month, that’s premiering at the Tribecca Film Festival, which he just scored a ticket for. So not only did she have an album drop today, but she’s causing people to now drop $15 bucks to see a movie, she’s co-starring in.
To make matters even worse, MariahDaily.com, which is the equivalent of an Al Qaeda Yahoo portal, spoke about something happening in NYC in honor (aka horror) for the premiere of the movie Tennessee. Apparently, for the entire weekend of April 25th, The Empire State building will be lit in Mimi’s new album colors of Purple, Pink and White. Yeah, what the fuck?!
It is to my knowledge that Mariah has started her campaign to completely take over the world, building her army of Auto-skanks each step of the way. Her next conquest was the owners of the Empire State Building. I have never known any artist, musical or otherwise to change/enhance a monument to promote themselves. Shameless, I think not. She’s becoming a world power people and she has to be toppled.
Mariah has to be stopped now! So I’m asking, is it still too late to write my Congressman about this? Can I picket outside of the Empire State Building when it lights up? Do I have to go down on Gov. Patterson to veto this? This is ridiculous!
posted by Dre @ 7:42 PM
2 Comments:
At 11:51 PM,
Christopher Brown said…
glad to see you're still alive, old man.
At 11:54 PM,
Christopher Brown said…
Oh, forgot to mention...
check out www.bamkapow.com and www.doubleviking.com. I'm doing writing for both. You'd especially like bamkapow.com...it's an all things comic related site.
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